Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

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💫GISELLE💫

The night before Thanksgiving Day, my mother had cooks and chefs in both kitchens, preparing for our big day. There were party planners decorating and cleaners cleaning. You'd think she was doing all of this for a huge family gathering the way she put her all into it. I knew that most of this energy was all because it was something that was important to my father. Not her.

I found myself relaxing in the only quiet area down on the main level, the theatre room. Propping my feet up and snuggling under a small blanket, I began my Gossip Girl binge. It was a show I'd watched more times over than I'd ever care to admit, but I could never get enough of the drama.

"Mind if I join you?" My mom whispered in the sweetest tone, peeping from behind the door.

"No." I lifted my blanket, inviting her in.

"The infamous Gossip Girl, eh?"

"Yep." I giggled, knowing how many times she'd interrupted by calling from some other part of the world or just barging in while she was home.

"How are you, Star? Like really?"

"I'm really good, mom. But I feel guilty for feeling this way."

"Are you talking about Aaron?"

"Yes." I looked her in her eyes and sensed a touch of understanding. "Mama, I love Aaron. I do."

"But you've experienced something stronger, right?"

"Yes! In every single way you can imagine. But it doesn't change the fact that I love him. I just don't want him anymore and I feel sick because of it."

"If there is one thing I've learned when it comes to love, it's to follow your heart. Because if you choose something else, you'll just take an ugly and painful path back to where you really belong." At the end of her sentence, I heard her voice shake, causing me to look over to her quickly.

"Mom?"

"I'm sorry." She cried out, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Mom, what's going on?"

"Honey, I need you to understand that I love you. Your father loves you in his own way. We both would do anything for you. You know that right?" Not even waiting for me to respond, she continued. "I just want to get through the week we have with you before you head back to school. We'll talk about it another time."

"Are you and dad splitting up? At least tell me that."

"Yes. We are honey. But there is so much more to it. It's complicated."

I sat up in my seat, turning to get a better glimpse of my mother. I tried looking beneath the perfectly made-up face and perfectly curled hair. Her big blue eyes, the ones mine resembled so much, told a story of an unhappy and misunderstood woman. A woman I've never met. A woman so different from the one I was used to.

"Are you okay?"

"I will be once this week comes to an end. I'm surprised Aaron didn't spill the beans sooner. The way he has looked at me for the past month or so, I just knew he would go against our wishes and tell you."

"He didn't mom."

"When he came home. The look on his face. The way he stood by your father. I knew something had changed. He never said anything, but I knew."

"Oh." I lowered my head in shame.

"Don't be ashamed. Tell me about him, sweety. Are you in love?"

"Oh mommy!" I jumped into her arms without warning, almost throwing her completely off balance. "I don't know what it is. I met a guy I loved before I ever spoke one word to him. Once we finally met it was instant chemistry, mom. It's nothing like Aaron. It's nothing like you and dad. It's nothing like any example I've ever had. He's so beautiful, but ugly. Real and raw, but secretive and sweet. I am crazy about him. He makes me different."

"Giselle." My mom sighed, tears falling down her cheeks as she watched me rant and rave like a crazy woman.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. But I love him so much."

"Baby, you don't control who you fall for. All you can control is what you choose to do about it."

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

Breathing came so easy, but somehow felt impossible as, for the first time, I was completely honest about my feelings for my lonely boy. I'd gasped for air or took the longest exhales, trying to stay alive. In reality, I was dying slowly. Holding these feelings in couldn't be healthy. It was deadly. But I felt amazing afterwards. It was like having a stream of poison flowing through your veins and someone comes along and drains you of all of its toxins, giving you a clean slate. A fresh shot at life and love and everything in between.

For the first time in a long time, my mom and I sat up in that theatre room and talked like two best friends, catching up on life, love, and mishaps. Sitting there telling her everything about my college experience and my new friends felt so refreshing. I watched as she listened with intent, responded with happiness and excitement, and gave ample advice when needed. I felt like I had a real mother. A real best friend. Even if it only lasted a moment, it was our moment. And it was glorious.

"Honey, you have to walk away from Aaron. You know that right?"

"Of course, I know. I broke up with him weeks ago, mom. It hurts though."

"I know how you feel, but if you wait any longer to walk in your truth, you're going to hurt everyone around you even more. If this guy is as amazing as you make him sound, you won't regret it. Aaron is a lot to handle, I know. He's a lot like your father, but he deserves time to heal and move on."

"I was surprised to see him at breakfast. I was surprised to see him act like nothing had happened. Why are they so controlling? Are all men that way?"

"Men with money and a little bit of power can be that way."

"Angel's not that way. I mean, he's dominant, but he treats me like a person. Like a very special person. Oh my God mom, you should see the way he looks at me. The way he touches me."

My mom giggled at my expression. I stoppedthinking of Angel and realized how crazy I might have sounded and laughedaloud. My mother's embrace took me back to lonely nights when I found myselfwrapped in my own arms, swaying from side to side, pretending someone loved meenough to console me. It reminded me of the love and affections of a motherthat I always craved. It was satisfying. 

***Author's Words****

Looks like a lot of the secrets we've been waiting for are close to being revealed.

What do you think it is?

Read on for more of Giselle's P.O.V.

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