Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.66.

💫ANGEL💫

I waited for Giselle to head down to the car before I began speaking. I watched V as she shifted her weight from her right leg to her left, fingers fidgeting nervously. Although there was ambiguity in her body language, her eyes stared into mine with confidence and assurance. I began somewhat of a silent prayer, hoping that having this conversation wouldn't dampen the relationship we'd built. V was always fun to have around, outside of sex. She always lightened my mood in a way that very few people could. I didn't want that part to change. I prayed that part wouldn't change.

"What, you two finally tying the knot?" V joked.

"Vanessa, look..." I sighed loudly, taking a few steps towards her. "What we were doing was never the best thing. The healthiest thing. I mean, you said so yourself that things were starting to feel more complicated."

"Okay?"

"Okay, so—I don't want to beat around the bush. And I don't want to be the bad guy. Look, Giselle—we're trying to take things to the next level. I can't do that and still mess around with you."

"I get it, Angel. You don't have to explain."

"But, I don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me? This is nothing compared to the hurt I know. Nothing." If I were a few inches closer, I'm sure that the stale and careless look on V's face would appear something completely different. Truth is, I didn't want to see it. I'd rather stay behind the blinding denial that distance granted me.

"Can we still be friends? Without the benefits, I mean."

"Angel—I love you. I'll be whatever you need me to be." V's eyes filled, and right when I thought they'd spill over, releasing the hurt I'd caused, she shook it off.

"I—" There were no words to express what I felt or what I wanted to say. What did she mean by love? I wanted to ask, but I dared not complicate things any further.

"Don't say anything. Just go. Have fun. I'll see you tomorrow."

With those final words exchanged, a gaze of effortless reassurance, we both walked out of my apartment and went out separate ways. Parting, physically, compared to emotionally felt like someone was ripping off a part of me. I actually felt said as if there was a part of me that was indeed emotionally attached to V. Like, although shun from the world around us, appearing to carelessly take on this physical agreement, we'd actually maneuvered into something more. The walk down to the lobby felt long and lonely. I tried processing my feelings more times than I'd care to admit, but I could never pinpoint my true feelings. Only the ones I wanted to display.

As I approached my car, I saw that Giselle had already started it, and by the looks of it, was getting caught up in the same loop of admiration everyone did once they got behind the wheel. Opening the door, she hardly acknowledged my presence. So, as I took a seat and closed the door, I checked on her to make sure she was ok.

"Ready?" I spoke, causing her to jump a little. "Damn. You good?"

"Yeah." She responded quietly.

"Cool. Come on."

"What did you tell her?"

"Hmm?"

She removed her hands from the steering wheel, turning to face me. I took a few breaths, praying she didn't pry. Those prayers were rejected.