IMPOSSIBLE

06 - Stop

Jennifer's POV

When I woke up the next morning, Alex was already awake, looking at me.

„Mhh.", I growled with a raspy voice.
„Mornin' beautiful.", he kissed my cheek.

I exhaled. I was still mad and unsure about our relationship.

„Are you still mad?", he asked and caressed the side of my face.

„I... I need time. To think.", I told him in a soft voice.
His eyes widened and a light smile appeared on his face. He probably thought I am giving having a baby a second thought. How could he be so delusional?

„Not about a baby, papi.", I still spoke very softly.
He seemed confused.
„About what, then?"

I took a deep breath, I wasn't sure if I should even tell him before I made a decision.

„What is it, mami?", he asked.

I frowned. „I.. I don't know if I'm happy anymore."
He sat up. „WHAT?"
I sat up too.

„So you're telling me,", he talked and got up. „that you wanna think about us?"

I could tell he was confused and angry.

I nodded slowly.

„Where does that come from?", he stood in front of the bed and made fists with his hands.

„Yesterday. Papi, the baby subject.. and I'm not.. I feel like you don't listen to me in general."

„Is there someone else?"

„What? No!", I stretched „o", frowned and shook my head.

He turned around. He whirled back to face me again, grabbed the water bottle from his nightstand and threw it over the bed and me while yelling „FUCK!".

The bottle smashed against the wall and fell on the ground. I flinched. I've never seen him this angry.

„Alex, the kids! Would you calm down?", I got up and walked around the bed to hug him. The shirt I wore brushed over my naked thighs.

„I didn't break up with you, did I?", I said while wrapping my arms around him and looking up to his face.

He exhaled loudly. „Saying you need time to think is as good as a breakup. Are you fucking someone else?"

I pushed him away. „This is about you and me. No one else! I'm not fucking anybody. God Alex! What's wrong with you?", I yelled and used my hands to talk.

„What's wrong with me? No! What's wrong with you?", he yelled back and took a step closer to me. „We were talking about a baby, about how much we love each other and now all of a sudden you don't know if you wanna be with me anymore?", he kept on yelling, while I walked backwards as he kept walking towards me, until my back bumped into the wall behind me.

Alex glared at me furiously and for the first time ever, he scared me.
„YOU were talking about a baby. And this is not suddenly, I've talked to you about this before.", I said in a more calmer tone, although my voice was shaky. I was anxious and I turned my head slightly so I didn't have to look him straight in his eyes.

His face expression suddenly changed, then he pushed me more into the wall and smashed his lips on mine. It didn't feel good or right at all.

„Mh, no.", I muttered inside his mouth, but he wouldn't stop. My heart began to race.
He moved his kisses to my neck and began to slide his hand down my body, while his other hand held me by my shoulder, pinning me against the wall.

„Alex, stop!", I said with a serious voice. He didn't listen and kept on going.
„STOP!", I screamed and pushed him away as hard as I could.

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked at him shocked while breathing heavily. What happened to him?

As if he realized what he had done his eyes widened and his mouth opened.
„Jennifer I'm sorry! I don't know what got into me.", he said and came closer.

I tried hard not to cry. „Baby..", he said and wanted to touch my face, but I turned away slightly while frowning.
„Don't.", I said with a shaking voice.

„You know I didn't mean to.. I love you. I can't lose you baby, I love you so much.", he fell on his knees and leaned the side of his face against my stomach. I opened my arms and put them on his head while he cried. Him touching me that way felt weird and scary, after what just happened.

I looked down on him and felt sorry. All those mixed up emotions were confusing and somehow clouding my mind. He had his hands on my hips and sobbed. „I love you, baby."
„I know.", I whispered.

He turned his head so his forehead was leaning on me now, then he gently pushed my shirt up and started kissing me between my legs.

I groaned softly and closed my eyes. He lifted one of my legs on his shoulders to get better access and I ran my fingers through his hair, while he started licking me. I knew it was wrong but it felt incredibly good. Weird even, but also amazing.

I moaned as he worked his tongue on me.

He made me cum and I threw my head back against the wall, moaning loud, while grabbing his hair hard, pushing him even closer to me.

I bit my bottom lip while he kissed me again, then he slowly slid my shirt back down and lifted my thigh off his shoulder. He looked up to me and smiled.

I frowned at him while still breathing heavy, because what just happened doesn't change anything that had happened before. Every argument about a baby, everytime he didn't listen, everytime I felt like I wasn't worthy enough. And last but not least, what had happened right before he did me.

„What?", Alex asked. „Why are you looking like that?"
„Because nothing has changed."
He got up and rolled his eyes. „Seriously? Oh fuck you, Jennifer.", he said and went back to being the asshole he was before.

His words hurt me but I didn't reply. I just let him walk out and hoped he would leave the house.

I leaned my head back on the wall and exhaled. Letting him do me wasn't exactly a smart move after such a bad fight, and I even felt a little ashamed.

I wished I could talk to someone, but I was afraid to be judged by practically everyone.

Leah's POV

It was already afternoon and I was walking the streets when my phone buzzed.
Lou called and I wasn't sure whether I should pick up or not. I decided to go for it.

„Lou.", I answered.
„Leah, are you at..?"
„I'm by myself. What do you want?"
„I thought maybe we could talk and you could apologize for what you said? You're not going to fuck around, are you?"

I was astonished about such a lack of self-assessment.
„You want me to apologize?", I scoffed. What I said yesterday wasn't nice, but she's the crazy one around here.
„Yes, I was really hurt by what you said.",
Lou said as if she was pouting.

I realized I couldn't do this anymore. No matter how good we are when we're in bed, this isn't worth it and it's going nowhere.

„Lou, no. I can't do this anymore. It's over."

Lou started crying and begging, but my mind was clear now and my heart wasn't in it anymore.

When we hung up, I sighed. My phone buzzed again and I thought it was her again, but it was a message from an unknown number.

I frowned and opened it.

„Wanna try Nobu's? I'll invite you. Reservation is under JR at 8. Jennifer"

I almost dropped my phone. Was that for real? Did Jennifer Lopez just invite me to dinner, sending a message with her personal number?

I gasped for air. I mean I've met her for workstuff twice now and we talked about some private stuff but this was intentionally private.

„I love to."