IMPOSSIBLE

34 - Arriving

Jennifer's POV

I was surprised I said that, but it's true. She is sexy when she's focused. Sometimes she frownes and bites her bottom lip and when she's really concentrating on a design she puts the tip of her pinky finger between her teeth and slides her tongue over it a little.

She's the definition of sexy. And even with everything that's going on and my mind being a little fucked up, I could still see and admire that.

„I am?", she asked surprised.
„Mhm.", I smiled and leaned in to peck her cheek.

We spend the day in bed until the kids came home. Leah stayed upstairs working and I spend some quality time with Max and Emme. We planned on cooking together with Leah this evening. I wore a turtleneck shirt to cover up my meanwhile violet looking throat. Hopefully it wouldn't be noticeable in a few days.

In the afternoon I called Marc to ask if he could take the kids.

„Marc, hello?", I asked when he picked up, because he seemed to be in the middle of something.
„Mami"
„Listen, could you take the kids for the next holidays please?"
„When's that?"
I rolled my eyes and flickered my eyelids.
„Next week!" He should know things like that.
„That's a little bit on short notice, mami."
„Marc...."
He sighed.
„I've got plans, mami."
„Stop with the mami and take care of your kids! I'm there all year, all I'm asking is for fucking ten days!"

Marc and I always got into heated arguments very quickly and that was a huge problem throughout our marriage. We used to fight a lot but we also laughed a lot and never been mad at each other for too long.

„Okay okay! Ten days?"
„Ten days. Holidays are 5 and the other 5 they just stay out of school."
He sighed again.

„Fuck, Marc!"
„Alright, ten days, I'll make it work."
„Thank you papi."
„Stop with the mami huh, but you gon' say papi all you want eh? Loca." He said mocking me.
„Watch your mouth, papi." I shook my head but a soft smile appeared on my face.
„You smilin' right? Puedo sentirlo, mami." He laughed a little.

The one thing he could always do was to make me smile, even after an argument.
I chuckled.
„Work it out and we'll talk again. Sí?", I said.
„Claro que sí."
„Gracias."

I smiled and hung up. I shook my head again and rolled my eyes.

„What was that flirty little talk all about?", Leah asked. She must've come to the kitchen without me noticing.

I bit my bottom lip. „Just Marc."
„As in Anthony?" Her eyes widened.
„Yes?"
„Oh right! Ex-husband, father of your children..."
„Leah..."
„No I get it.. I was just... I'm still not used to all that famous people being like... around or something, I don't know."
She's too cute.
„Marc and I are still on good terms and this is.. this is how we communicate. Do you think it's weird?"
I really wanted to know, since I myself think that we're like.. yes we are flirty with each other and we still love each other on a different kind of level then when we were married.

Leah walked to my side and put her hands on my shoulders. „A little bit.", she said.
„Sorry. I'll try to keep it down."
„No. If I know what it's all about I'm fine with that. But you never.. rekindled?"

Leah let go of my shoulders and I bit my bottom lip again.

„Jennifer!", she looked funnily shocked.
„What? Just.. a few times because.. well when you're in need and.. you know that, don't you?"
Leah crossed her arms and rolled her eyes playfully.
„A few times?"

„That was years ago mami."

She laughed and pulled me into a hug.
„It's okay baby, I was just.. being a friend. You know like we used to. I don't care, that was years ago, and I'm still in for that girltalk. Plus I love to get to know you more."

She looked at me and we shared a short, yet meaningful kiss.

„What are we cooking?", Leah asked.
„Rice, beans and chicken.", I smiled. It's my go-to dish and although it sounds easy, it's so good that everybody's always licking the plate.

„Alright.", Leah said.
„Max, Emme?", I shouted. „Time to make dinner!"

They came and we started. I told them about staying with their dad during the holidays.

„Oh but mom, we wanna stay with you and Leah.", Emme pouted while Max seemed okay with it.
„Oh baby, it's just ten days okay? I need to take a little care of myself." They're old enough to understand and I always teach them how important it is to take care of yourself.

„Mhmh.", Emme replied.

„We'll facetime and I'm sure you and Marc are gonna have a lot of fun. He's funny, right?", Leah said while washing the beans.
„He is.", Emme's face lit up and she smiled.
„I'll miss you still.", she said and hugged Leah from behind. Leah put the beans away and her arms over Emme's, while Emme rested her head on Leah's back.

„Aw, you guys...", I said and joined the hug from the side. I waved a hand at Max. „Come here."
He rolled his eyes but joined the other side and we were all basically hanging on Leah. She put her arms around mine and Max's neck and laughed.
„I love you. All of you.", she said and squeezed us.
„Ugh, Leah!", Max complained about her squeeze. Leah laughed and let go of him, then Emme let go of her and it was just me and Leah. She turned to face me and kissed me softly.

„Ew mom, can we cook now?", Max complained again.
Leah and I both smiled and let go of each other. My heart was full and I'll cherish this moment forever.

Later that evening, Leah and I were sitting outside, watching the stars and I rested my back on her, while er legs were beside me and my arms were lying on her thighs, she kissed the side of my head.

„I found something.", she said.
„Found something what?"
„A place to stay. What do you think of Barbados?"
„Actually I've never been."
„Oh, so I'm taking you someplace new?", she sounded excited.
„You are."
„Yes!"
Leah squeezed me.

„Just one little thing...", she said quietly.
„What?" I leaned my head a little to the side to feel her chin on my forehead.
„I.. ugh, this sucks... I can't afford a private plane, so unless you wanna fly economy..."
I chuckled. „God no."
„I don't want anyone to know we're there."
„Should I let you keep your delusions?", I asked her, knowing this is impossible.
„Please."

I looked up and she kissed my forehead.

With everyday that passed I felt a little better. I still had nightmares which Leah always woke me out of and I still couldn't close bathroom doors. I avoided my office, the bathroom downstairs and the hall that led to those rooms. Leah and I cuddled a lot and shared soft kisses sometimes, but that was all I could do at the moment. I missed her touch and I also missed touching her, but I just didn't feel it. And Leah didn't make any moves. She just let me be.

Finally our bags were packed and we were heading to the airport with the kids. They will be boarding another plane and Marc will pick them up in Miami.

We all hugged tight and then Leah and I were off to Barbados. It felt good to know that I won't have to be in that house. Leah was working on the way and I just enjoyed having to do nothing at all.

I was hit by a wall of extremely moist and hot air, when we got out of the plane.
„Ugh, wow.", I said breathing in the caribbean air.

I already like it here.