IMPOSSIBLE

32 - You Make Me Feel

Jennifer's POV

I left the bathroom door open because a closed one made me feel uncomfortable.

When I came out of the bathroom Leah opened her arms for me to fall into them. I let myself and sighed. She makes me feel safe and loved and I was beyond thankful that she's here.

„What about eating here in bed, watching a movie with Max and Emme?", Leah suggested and I liked the idea. We wouldn't have to talk too much, light would be dim and they hopefully wouldn't notice that I am not well.

I wondered if she had all that in mind, but since it's Leah... I bet she did.

„I'd love that."
„Pizza then?"
„Yeah."

As weird as it sounds, right in that moment, I felt lucky. Leah's the most incredible girlfriend and I'm all hers.

I called my chef asking if he could either make pizza or order some in, I didn't care. Leah dimmed the lights a little.

„Mom? Leah?", I heard Emme's voice.
„In here baby.", I answered her.

„Hey mom.", Emme came inside, crawled on the bed and kissed me. It felt so good to see her.
„Hi Leah.", she smiled at Leah. „What are you guys doing in bed?"
„We thought we'd have pizza in bed and watch a movie?", I said, raising my brows hopefully and smiled.
Emme's eyes widened. „Yay!"
„Where's your brother?"
„Probably in his room, gaming.", Emme rolled her eyes.
„Would you please get him?"

Emme jumped off the bed.

I turned to Leah. „Thank you baby."
„Whatever you need.. I'm here."

Leah put her hand over mine and squeezed it.

Emme came back with Max and they snuggled up in bed with us. Emme was between me and Leah and Max was on my side. Right when everyone found a comfy position, our pizza was brought to us and we decided for a movie.

I kinda felt at ease and was distracted by my beautiful babies. They'll always gonna be my babies and I cherish moments like this, because they're already teenagers and cuddling with them became a seldom act.

Right after the movie, they told us how their day was with Shandra, then they went off to bed. It was a good evening, given the circumstances.

„That was such a good idea baby.", I said to Leah.
„Yeah I thought something quiet would be best."
„Right."

I got up and a sudden pain flared up inside of me as soon as my feet touched the ground. I steadied myself on the bed.

Leah immediately got up and rushed to my side to support me. I whimpered, then  straightened up and inhaled deeply.
„Okay...", I whispered.
„Sure?", Leah asked, one hand on my back and one on my stomach.
„Yes." The pain was already gone so I walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open.

Just the thought of a closed door made my throat tighten and my heart pick up speed.

I went to the toilet, which didn't cause me too much pain, I expected it to be worse. Then I went to the sink to wash my hands and my face. After washing my face I put my hands on the vanity and looked at myself and was kind of startled, because I looked different. Worn out, pale, broken. My eyes started burning and tears were shooting in. My stomach hurt, my heart hurt and I started sobbing and crying.

I felt a soft and very gentle touch on my middle back. Leah.
She brushed her hand over my back, then very slowly to my stomach, where she wrapped her arm around me tight. Her front met my back and I felt the comforting warmth of her body. She rested her chin on my shoulder and leaned her head against mine.

„I'm here for you.", she spoke softly to me. „Let it out."
I cried and sobbed and I just sunk into her. Leah caught me and we sank to the bathroom floor, where I turned myself around and leaned my head on her chest and just cried heavily, while she held me very tight and rocked me slightly.

I felt terrible, used and weak. Like I let it happen. I asked myself what I had done to deserve what he did to me.

„It's not your fault.", Leah said. Sometimes it feels like she can read my mind.
„If I just..", I sobbed out but she cut me off.
„No! Not. Your. Fault. Don't ever think that. You've done nothing wrong, baby."

I grabbed her shirt and sobbed again.
„Do you wanna stay here or get into bed?", Leah asked me and placed a soft kiss on top of my head.
„Bed, please."

Leah helped me up, then she suddenly swept me off my feet and carried me to bed, while I buried my face in her neck. She's more than amazing.

When we lied down, she took me into her arms and after a while I fell asleep peacefully.

I woke up because I heard a noise downstairs.
Like a chair being moved. I got up and looked into the dark hall.
„Emme? Max?", I whisper yelled. I checked their rooms and they were sleeping, so I went downstairs to see what was going on.

Just when I had passed the last step of the stair, someone grabbed and pulled my hair strongly, so that I was pulled backwards. I gasped, then bumped into a broad body. It was him.
„No!", I yelled, but he put me in a chokehold immediately. I slapped his arms like crazy, whimpering, gasping for air. „Leah!", I screamed from the top of my lungs, right before I went out of air.
„Leah...", I now whimpered. Just like the first time, I began to lose consciousness. Then he let go and pushed my body into the nearest wall. As my face bumped into it hard, he immediately pinned my hands on my lower back with one of his hands. He forced himself on me, his body so close to mine that I could feel his hard dick on my ass.
I tried to free myself with everything I have, while screaming like crazy.

Then I heard Leah.
„Jennifer! Jennifer! Stop. Hey... ouch.. wake up baby... wake up."

I opened my eyes and inhaled sharply. Leah had wrapped her hands around my whole body, including my arms. I panicked because I felt trapped and I started moving wildly. It still felt like I was captivated in my dream.
„Let me go!", I demanded.

„Shh, baby.. It's me.", she spoke softly to me.
I whimpered and gave up fighting her hold, instead I now let her hold me, finding comfort in it.

She held me close and I cried very audible.

„Can I let you go?", Leah asked after I calmed down a little.
I just nodded and when she let go of me, I turned around and looked at her. I had stopped crying, it was like I was out of tears.

„You're gonna get through this. We're gonna get through this. You're the strongest person I know.", she said to me and put her palm on my cheek, caressing it with her thumb.

„I am?", I asked, because right now, I felt anything else but strong.

„You are.", she assured me and her eyes pierced into mine.

I leaned in to kiss her softly and my heart jumped. In all that misery I felt inside, she was able to make me feel that way. She was not only my rock but also the love of my life.