Restoring The Blue Eyed Wolf.

Chapter 24.

Connor's POV.

To say I'm nervous would be an understatement. I'm currently standing outside of the office Amber gave Pamela. The appointment is meant to start in just a few minutes and everything in me just wants to run away from it.

I know I should face this he'd on, but after last night I'm a bit embarrassed to see Pamela again. She shouldn't have had to see me in that state.

I always think I need to be stronger and not give in to the overwhelming emotions like I did, but Amber said it's ok to be emotional, that it's ok to be vulnerable. I'll take her word for it and do as she says.

That's why I'm here after all. That's why I mentioned doing therapy to begin with. I knew Amber was right when we talked about it before and hearing Pamela say she's a therapist that works with trauma patients, it was something I couldn't pass up.

I had to take advantage of the situation. Plus, Pamela seems really kind. I just hope things will work out well in the end.

I lightly knock on the door. " Come in. " I hear a voice call.

I open the door and peek my head in to see Pamela sitting behind her desk going over some papers. She looks up and sees me. She offers me a small smile and gestures to the chair in front of the desk. " Please, have a seat. "

I nod and walk in, closing the door behind me before I go and sit down in the chair. She writes a few notes down before setting her pen down and looking at me.

" First before we begin, I need you to know that whatever you say in this room stays here. I won't tell anyone and I need you to be completely honest with me about everything. Ok?" She says.

I nod my head. " Yes ma'am. "

" Good. Let's get started. First question I want to ask is how you are doing today?" She asks.

I feel a bit awkward. I shrug my shoulders. " Ok I guess. " I say.

" Can you go into detail about what you mean when you say I guess?" She asks.

" I'm better than I was last night. I feel a bit anxious about this meeting though. " I admit.

She picks up her pen and starts to write down a few notes. " Perfectly understandable. I want you to feel safe and comfortable here. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" She asks.

" Maybe some water. " I say.

She smiles. " Perfect. I'll check with the guard outside and see if he can send for some. " she says getting up and going to do just that.

Gosh, I feel like I'm already making a fool out of myself by being so awkward with this. " What's going on in that head of yours?" She asks going back to sit down.

I look at her. " I've never done this before. I.. well I feel kinda stupid right now acting all awkward like this. I haven't been completely trusting with anyone. I haven't even told Amber any of the things I went through. I was taught to only trust myself. " I say.

" Who taught you that?" She asks.

" Fenris. " I answer.

" And you trust his judgement on that? Did you trust him?" She asks.

" Well yeah, he was my Alpha and I.... " I stop myself when I realize what I'm saying. I trusted him even though he said not to trust anyone.

" He was manipulating you Connor. You just couldn't see it then. Him telling you not to trust anyone yet knowing you'll trust him was exactly what he wanted. I know you don't trust me and you don't have too. That's your choice to make. Not Amber's, not your fathers. Yours. " she states.

She has a point. " I believe that the reason you don't trust anyone is not because you can't, it's because you won't. You feel like you need his approval still, don't you?" She asks.

I lower my head to think about what she's saying. I never thought of it like that before. I do everything hesitantly and only when someone with more power than me asks. I'm just filling up the space Fenris left.

I look at her. " How do I go about this?" I ask.

" I can't answer that Connor. Only you can. I can give you some advice though. You don't need anyone's approval. You are your own person. If you're going to do something, do it. Don't wait for someone more powerful then you to order you. " says Pamela.

I nod. " Thank you. "

" Anytime. Now, why is it you think you need his approval still?" She asks.

" I'm not to sure. I guess since he was the first memory I have after my memory was wiped. " I say.

" What did he say?" Asks Pamela.

" He welcomed me to the rogue pack and told me he was my Alpha and I should only ever listen to him. " I say.

" What else?" She asks.

" He untied me from a chair and took some silver off me. He said I had just been in a bad accident that wiped my mind and that I had to be restrained because I had gone crazy after losing my mate. That they didn't know how I would react if I were free when I woke. " I say.

" Did that story make sense to you at the time?" Asks Pamela.

" I didn't think about it too much because it felt like my mind was filled with fog. " I say.

" That's understandable given what you went through. " she said as she wrote down more notes.

" I'm not sure how he wiped my memory though. I get some flashes of being in a chair and hearing laughter in my dreams. I just can't remember though. " I say.

" That's fine. You'll remember as you heal. Most people do. " says Pamela.

I nod in response. She asks a few more questions. Simple ones to get to know me better and I answer them honestly.

Finally an hour had passed and it was time to end the meeting for today. " That's enough for today. You did great Connor. " she said.

" Is there anything I should expect from this?" I ask.

" Tiredness from going through an emotional time. You may have a nightmare tonight after going through some memories. It'll be fine though because that is part of the healing process. " says Pamela.

I nod in response. " Now, what I want you to do is go and get some rest. Do what you can ti unwind a little. Our next meeting will be the day after tomorrow. Same time if that's alright?" She asks.

" That would be perfect. Thank you. " I say.

She right. I do feel exhausted after talking about this. Maybe a nap would be the perfect thing for me.

I get up and she follows me to the door. Outside is a guard holding out a water bottle. " I'm so sorry. I didn't want to disturb you. Here's the water you requested earlier. "

We all start laughing and I take the water. " Thank you. " I say and with that, I turn and wave goodbye before heading in the direction of my room.

Comment and vote.

A/N. Hey guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember, I am not a trained therapist, so please do not take my advice I give the characters seriously. I am not sure who's POV to do next. Let me know in the comments who you want to see. Until next time guys. :-)