Chapter 40.

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Connor's POV.

Most of my morning was spent sitting on the porch in a rocking chair holding Walnut. The sun feels good on my face and it seems the kitten is enjoying the sun as well.

As I sit here, I begin to ponder over the memory that I had surface last night.  I recognized Clayton, Amber and Cassandra pretty quickly. I don't remember having that conversation or any of the backstory to it.

It's all just a big blur, almost like there's a black in my mind and when I try to poke it, it sends pain throughout my head. I guess it's just a part of healing.

I'll have to ask Pamela today. Soon once the sun gets too hot, I take the kitten inside and get us both some water. After a while Pamela walks back in with Sasha who looks worn out but happy. I smile and gladly pass her Walnut when she asks for her.

I look at Pamela. " Give me a bit to get ready. I'll send someone to get you when it's time. " she said.

I nod. " Thanks. "

She smiles warmly at me before going upstairs and leaving Evan to look after Sasha. It didn't take too long before a guard comes down the stairs and let's me know she's ready for me. I thank him and make my way upstairs to her office.

I knock once I am standing in front of the door. " Come in. " she said.

I do so and close the door behind me. I then make my way over to the seat I sat in last time and sit down. I finally look at her and she's setting down a notebook before looking back at me.

" So, how have you been since our last meeting a few days ago?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders a little. " I've been ok. Happy actually. " I said.

" You've been feeling more relaxed then?" She asks.

I nod. " What do you think could have brought of the sudden relaxation?" She asks.

I look down to think. I'm not sure what she's meaning. I've just been feeling more relaxed the past few days. " I-I'm not sure. " I admit.

" Ok, we can come back to that. For now, I wanted to ask you how you've been feeling today? I know Amber helped you last night because of a massive headache. Do you know what brought it on?" She asks.

" I had a memory surface last night. " I said.

Her eyes widen a little in excitement for me. " Really? That's wonderful Connor. "

I allow myself a small smile. " Thank you. Despite the migraine, I'm feeling more hopeful about getting my memories back. "

" Good, that's the mindset I want you to be in. Hopeful." She said as she wrote down some notes.

She then set it down and looked at me. " Now, in order for your mind to heal, it's better if you are relaxed. I heard an interesting theory this morning that I want to run by you. " she said.

I tilt my head in confusion but not anyways. " I and a lot of others think that Walnut may be the cause of you being able to relax. " she said.

Ok, that was not what I was expecting. " How does that work?" I ask.

" There are such things as therapy animals. Some get trained specially for a certain method of therapy. Could be for PTSD. Could be from severe anxiety to extreme depression, disability's too. Sometimes you just need a little companion. I believe that when you found Walnut, all your focus went to her and you experienced this firsthand. " says Pamela.

Huh, that's very interesting. " I never thought about that." I admit.

" I've been carefully observing you since our last meeting. You weren't very happy until you found her, then suddenly it's like a light switch was flicked and you became an entirely different person. You weren't so focused and frustrated that you weren't  getting memories back, you were more focused on making sure Walnut was ok. You got so happy when she opened her eyes last night that I believed it triggered something in your head and allowed a memory to surface. " Pamela said.

I spend a little bit thinking this over. She's right, I haven't been focused on my healing since Walnuts been in my care. She's just so cute. I love watching her grow. Even if it's only been a few days since we found her.

What Pamela says makes sense. By relaxing, I must be letting my body do its job in healing me. It gives me hope that I get all my memories back. Makes me exited too.

I look back at Pamela. " That makes a lot of sense. " I said.

She smiles. " I'm even more hopeful for your recovery, Connor. You've already made a big step. Don't think about healing too hard. It'll happen when it does. Now, can you tell me what happened in the memory?" She asks.

I nod. " I think it was back when we just met and we were in the forest. Amber was asleep in my arms and in front of me was my childhood friends Clayton and Cassandra. " I say.

" What we're you three talking about?" She asks.

" I know from Amber that we kept our relationship secret from everyone. For my safety and hers. I think we were talking about admitting to Amber why I was arrested. " I say.

She nods. " It must be confusion to think about this and getting a memory that you barely have any information of. " she said.

" It is. It's just so confusing. " I admit.

" You are making a lot of progress and I'm proud of you. " she said.

I smiled at her. " That means a lot. " I said.

" Now, let's talk about how you feel about the memory. " she said.

I nod. " I feel confused. I also feel happy and hopeful. " I said.

" Explain to me that hopeful feeling. " she said.

" I'm feeling hopeful because it means I am healing. I was beginning to think I'd never get my memories back and after getting this one. It makes me even more hopeful to getting them back. " I say.

" I've done some research on the chemical that was used on you. Wolf Bane is one I had never heard about before. Some cases do involve memory lose, only they never got their memories back. " says Pamela.

" What makes me different?" I ask.

" I believe it's because you are a Blue Eyed Healer. You not only have the power to heal other, but it also gives you the ability to heal yourself too. So right now you have to not only want to heal, but you have to be relaxed as you do it. Now, I'm no expert on this, so this is just a theory. " says Pamela.

" I do want to heal and I am more relaxed. " I say.

" Then that's a good enough start. Between these meetings, if anything happens I want you to come to me about it and we can meet then and there. " she says.

I nod. " I will. "

" Good. Now, I am going to come up with a schedule for you that involves methods to relax. I will hand them to you tomorrow and I want you to spend the next four days focusing on relaxing and taking care of that kitten. " she says.

" Yes meme. Thank you. " I say.

" Anytime Connor. I believe that concludes our meeting for today. You go and enjoy the rest of your day. " says Pamela.

I nod and leave the room. This gives me even more hope. I'm healing. I'm ready for whatever comes next.

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A/N. Hey guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember I am not a therapy expert. Do not quote me on this. I'm literally just making this up as I go lol. Next chapter will be in Kurt's POV. Until then guys. Bye :-)

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