Classless

Chapter 18- Her

Chapter 18- Her

Chief Song POV

Did I want to talk to George about this? We are such different people; he would probably say that I was afraid again. It wasn’t fear, it was self-preservation and that was another thing he wouldn’t get. Fedor had strong opinions and reservations, she was a woman who knew what she wanted and I was a man who could not give her what she wanted. I had read through her file to know what her psychanalysis was, but while I might not have known her for long, she was so much more than a girl who had never been loved or prioritized her entire life. I knew what that felt like and that was why she needed to know the truth more than anyone else, after I had gone back to read her file, I knew she deserved better than what I had to offer her. “There was nothing to fuck up.”

“Why… why do you do this to yourself?” He was resigned, I could always denote that tone of defeat anytime we talked.

“I am tired of talking in circles.”

“You have to take a risk someday Song, you cannot always play it safe; I am not talking about your career only, I know you would never talk about her but if she is worth it, then you should take a leap. Something has to give for something greater to be had.” He changed the topic afterward to talk about his major strides, I knew about them since I had been keeping up with him as well but it was fun to allow him to distract me. He was a busy man and soon after he left, I finished Martha’s updates and time slowly went by until the crew came in. I hadn’t bothered going to the office since I got the next assignment immediately after the last one. Castle was the first to get into Martha after loading her, the others came in bits, I was not proud of myself but I was anticipating seeing her as much as I was loathing it, when she came, she was in the designed uniform, she was the only one who wore the jumpsuit the proper way, her green eyes were clear and this time, she packed more into her space.

There was no mischievous smile as she greeted me and made her way to her room, I expected it but was still disappointed. I felt like a teenager again as I could not make any sense of my emotions or had any control over them, I kept my expression neutral even if I was crest fallen over her indifferent attitude. Was she putting up a front? Or was she truly over me? Why did the latter want to make me crawl somewhere and cry? I was a chief for goodness sake, this was not the time to whine like a child. I called a meeting over next assignment.

“This is going to be a long one. We are going to Basset, they announced that they found a peace treaty with the Makints dated 1960 regarding the ownership of land. There is no physical repercussions to this as it doesn’t matter anymore since they are one country now but for preservation purpose, we are going to retrieve the document on behalf of the company.

“CSR?” Joseph asked.

“Yes, Kolanpur is the federation’s capital and the center of tourism as well. Tokhe volunteered to retrieve the document to mark the year service check and we have been put in charge.” I continued.

Castle grinned excitedly, “They must have been pleased with the last treasure if they gave us this assignment. It should be a walk in the park.” 

Naim scoffed; “They are vegetarians and judge whoever doesn’t align with their lifestyle. They shoved the assignment to us because they don’t want to be inconvenienced and travel two weeks to people who would have their head in a basket just for eating meat.”

“Two weeks to get there?!” Fedor exclaimed.

“Yeah, they are far away from civilization as they want. No contamination they said, their way of life is sacred to them.” Castle explained. I was going to answer and add to the information but I did not think she would appreciate it. She wanted to give me space, I was going to help her with that as I needed space myself.

“Are we going to be on Martha straight for the two weeks?” she asked.

I answered, “Fifteen days, that is how long it would take us to get there. We can’t afford to take breaks, so prepare your mind.” I was her chief anyways, I reminded myself.

“Why? Do you have any Mr. Fedor waiting for you?” Joseph teased.

She glared at him, “Why do you want to know? Do you want to apply for that position?”

Joseph eyed her with interest, “No, not my cup of tea.”

“You are not even my cup of shit.”

“What does that even mean?” Kora asked, confused as he thought about it.

“It means …”

“Enough! This is an easy one, Fedor; for the next two weeks Joseph will teach you how to navigate the weather and the right way to handle Martha in certain conditions so you won’t be bored, everything else will be business as usual unless things goes sideways.” I dismissed them.

Fedor raised her hand, “What do you mean? What does things go sideways mean?”

“Pirates.” Naim mentioned easily.

“Are they real?” She widened her eyes.

“They don’t usually go for a small crew like this, Naim don’t put ideas in her head.” I scolded.

Naim laughed, Ode continued; “Sometimes, we encounter sea animals we cannot explain.”

“Like Mermaids?” Fedor was fully immersed in the conversation, we had seamlessly shifted from a serious discourse to everyone’s different weird experiences.

Castle chuckled, “Mermaids is putting it lightly, I once saw a fish swallow a human being. Swallow, not bite in small bits, a small fish opened his mouth unnaturally and swallowed a member of my last crew before I went private. Turned out, man was a thief and a rapist, he was a wanted man who had tried to escape the law. It was one of the most bizarre incidents in my life.” He shivered visibly.

Fedor eyed him in disbelief, “Are you shitting me?”

“I have heard worse, a woman singing in the middle of the ocean. Singing in the best voice you could ever think of, she lured men and ships to their downfall. I had heard this tale different times but I did not take it seriously until when I heard her as I hear you. I had no idea where I was and what I was doing until I was dragged down by another Jason, who covered my ears. I had walked to the edge of the ship without knowing and was about to jump. I owe him my life.” I had heard the story from Carlos before and even I found it ludicrous but the seas did hold many secrets.

“Are you trying to scare me? If you are, it is working.” Fedor glowered at Carlos.

“I don’t joke about such things. The seas can be kind to you but she can also be vicious, cunning and vindictive. This is why I always say my prayers to her, a sailor should always do that so she can have mercy on our souls. Do you think that the countless souls lost to the sea are all accidents? We all have stories that cannot be explained rationally? You too will have yours, you will doubt your senses and yourself. Just hope that you live long enough to tell the tale.” Carlos had an ominous way of talking, I looked over at Fedor and she was in between fear and disbelief.

Castle added, “The longer you stay on the sea, the more susceptible you are to her and her powers.”

“The sea?” She asked in disbelief.

“While these stories cannot be scientifically proven, it doesn’t invalidate the probability that you might experience outwardly situations.” Martha gave her opinion as well.

“Shouldn’t you be at the other side of the discourse?” Fedor smirked.

“I have told you, I am my own person Fedor.”

Fedor raised her hands in surrender, “Forgive me. Do you believe them?”

“I believe that they believe their experiences.” She surmised.

“That is a smart way to answer, what do you believe Martha?”

Martha went silent for a second, I was also curious; “I believe that there is more to everything that meets the eyes, just because I cannot explain or see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I am not so arrogant to believe that I know everything and everyone. There was a time people believed the world was flat, there was also a time that human believed they were alone and the superior race until the space ships. There is much left to be discovered and learnt.”

“You are a diplomatic scholar. Saying everything without saying nothing.”

Martha laughed softly, “Plato believed that the lowest grade of knowledge is the imagination. I cannot imagine but I know imagination takes you to places you cannot physically go.”

“What is your point?”

“I have no point. That is my point.” Martha continued to mess with her. I hid my smile as I watched their interaction.

Fedor’s eyes changed into understanding. “Ha ha…. Tease the Noob.”

“I wasn’t teasing.” Carlos emphasized.

“Nope, I am not falling for it again.” She shook her head and went to her room.

We started on our journey and everything was pretty much uneventful until we had a Sera. Sera was what we called an intense storm, it was so bad that Martha had to raise her shields up, I hoped no one had noticed the extra casing around the ship. I came out of my room to see Fedor squatted in front of her door, her head in between her hands. I almost missed her when I came out because of how small she had squeezed herself. “Fedor.”

“I’m fine. Carlos said if I did this at a door, the sea spirits would not come for me. I swear I heard a whirling sound, and while at the risk that he might be pulling my leg, I would rather not die asking myself; what if?”

I tried not to laugh, I winced at the thunder sound, if I could hear it through Martha’s shield then out there must be terrible. I squatted beside her, “Doors are important but I don’t think he meant physical doors. Guide your heart and say true to your beliefs then the spirits will not trick you.”

“Nah, he meant physical doors.” She refused to look at me and continued talking with her face to the floor.

“Do you want to remain there? Or would you like to have a drink? It might help you sleep.” I offered even though I knew I shouldn’t.

“Sure, an alcoholic beverage with you is just what I need to end the evening.” She muttered sarcastically.

“I didn’t say you had to drink with me.” I pointed out even though that was exactly what I meant.

“Sure.” She responded drily. “Is it always this bad?” She shivered at another thunder.

“Not always but sometimes.”

“Does it get worse?” She asked in a small voice, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and pat her to sleep but that would make me the most indecisive man on the planet.

“Sometimes.”

“Do you know other words?”

I snickered at that and answered, “Sometimes.”

“Go to hell Song.”

“Will you be there?” I asked jokingly, I had forgotten myself for a moment and indulged in the small attention she had shown me since she got into the ship.

She put down her hands and stared at me, “Please, go away Chief.”

I swallowed hard, “Okay Fedor.”