Classless

Chapter 40: Business and Pleasure

Chapter 40:  Business and Pleasure

*Fedor’s POV*

There were a couple of realizations I had come to over the past few days and one of them was a bitter truth to swallow, it was that I needed to change departments, I had spent the day before we went on the next assignment going through the company’s handbook. Usually, I never read things like that and I knew Song was the kind to have read and gone through every clause and phrase which meant he knew what being together with me meant for him. He believed that I had more to lose while that might be true in some ways, the power play into consideration would have the entire situation in a fix. Basically, if anything were to go wrong, we would be in a mess. Although Chief’s case was different because he was more of a contractor than a staff since he uses his personal ship, I did not know the details of the agreement but I was half sure that having sexual relations with the intern was a good look on anyone, not on me and definitely not on Chief, I did not care what people said about me most of the time but I cared what people thought about me and that was saying something. I had gone through the various departments and was trying to profile them to know who would take me when I applied, I did not like to think, I winced as I felt a raging headache. My table was scattered with papers, I preferred to be as manual as possible, it made it easier for me, and no one could understand it but technology was not my forte, and I do see the irony since I worked for a mechanical engineering company.

I sighed and tried not to think about his reaction to me moving, I had intended this to be my last assignment with him, I was proud of myself, it was the first thing I had ever done for anyone that wasn’t me and Ms. Cecil thought that I was too selfish to ever form a valid partnership with anyone. I had written my application and stated different needs as a reason for moving. The problem was that Chief might not understand why I did this; I mean he had this whole plan to separate business from personal relationships but who would believe he was fair in any of my reviews once it came out? I groaned out loud. This was harder than I imagined it wasn’t bad enough that we went on the sea for weeks, and if I wasn’t with them, what time would we even have to date? I missed when I didn’t care and did what I wanted, Song had worked too hard to allow the tiniest rumor to take root and destroy whatever image he had built for himself over the years.

I could hear the hypocrisy in my thoughts when it was I who had told him I could mix business and pleasure but in retrospect, it was so risky. Too risky to entertain, what if over time this became our Achilles heel and he grew to hate me, I had the annoying ability to overthink, and what most people would say was overreaching but I had watched worse things happen. Not to indulge in self-pity but I didn’t think my brother’s death was what drove my parents apart even when they couldn’t live without each other. I thought it was the final hit that drove them apart, I’ll be the first to admit that my childhood had done a number on me and I should get over it or whatever but I swear, I was trying my best. I was sacrificing what I wanted for someone I liked if that wasn’t growth, I don’t know what else it could be, my heart twisted when I thought about signing the form before sending it, it meant that I would see him less, maybe absence would make the heart fonder. I broke the pen I was holding because I had pressed a little too hard. This wasn’t fun at all! I tried to remember what it was like before I knew Chief, He might be the most straight-laced black and white man I had ever known but he brought color into my world.

I grinned as I remembered the few times I had watched him smile and laugh which was not a lot when you thought about it, I heard a knock on my door and frowned. It was dead at night, I picked up a weapon even though I doubted if I was going to be attacked, they would knock but they could be polite thugs, I was straying again. “Who’s there?”