Classless

Chapter 47: Facing Fears

Chapter 47: Facing Fears

*Fedor’s POV*

“Let’s talk about this when our emotions are all over the place, I get it; I do but we still have to live after today so let’s not make hasty decisions.” I rushed my words because I was beginning to panic.

He folded his hands, “You don’t want anyone to know.”

“Of course not.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” He was confused and I was confused as to why he was confused when he was the one blindsiding me with this sudden turn of events.

I clicked my tongue, “Yes, I am completely ashamed of this hunk of a man. Sure.”

“You are right, this is not the right time but it’s not over. We will have words later and other things.” He kissed my forehead again and left. I sat and completely missed my bed and went straight to the ground but I did not get up immediately. I wondered what was going through his head, why would we come out to the world when I have barely made sense of our relationship yet, we did not need new dynamics and contrary to what professionals think, I do not have a fear of commitment. I stayed in my room ignoring what was happening after it, I could not sleep mostly because I hadn’t had my bath. Someone knocked at the door and I opened to find Kurt there with a bottle of red wine, I did not know or care how much time had passed and allowed him inside but left the door slightly open.

“What?” I asked.

He smirked, “The Chief? Really?”

“What? You could do better?” I answered.

“You are not even going to deny it?” He sat on the bed while I sat against the wall opposite him.

I shrugged, “What’s the point?”

“I am fascinated, he somehow made a human being out of you, I knew that self-reflection and apology had to have an outside interference.” He took a swig and passed to me.

“No, no… He does not have anything to do with my personal development. Not much by the way, okay a little but the apology was all me.”

He laughed, “Will you be alright? I know this was a bit over the top.”

“I will be fine, how does it feel to take a life?” I was curious.

He sighed and looked off to the distance, “I don’t think much about it.”

“Does that work?”

“I don’t know, at first it was a little hard but it does help that the ones who die by my hands are considered trash by any standards.” He answered.

“You lost some men.” I commented, “Do you feel responsible for their deaths?”

“Of course I do, even know they knew the risks and they made the choice, my decisions, reactions and strategy plays a large part of those who get to go home at the end.” He was frank and I appreciated that, Kurt had evolved as well.

“Do you regret it?”

“No, it’s a job that someone has to do and I can say that I am pretty good at it, you can tell by my position at such a young age.” He winked.

I sneered, “You could learn some modesty.”

“And you could learn to cry.”

“Just because I am a woman…”

“Being a woman has nothing to do with this, you are an intern which means all of this is new, I am sure that you had never considered this as part of what could happen to you. Anyone would be flustered, I get that humor is part of your coping mechanism but it’s alright to fall apart, that way you can get it over with and not allow it become a shadow that follows you wherever you go.”

I laughed drily, “When did you become a sage?”

“I have always been wise.” He smirked then got serious, “The Bhoots have been a terror on the sea for a long time, this was a good output. That Chief, I wonder where he learned to fight like that, I see why you fell for him. Big handsome man with a good, smart head on his shoulders, what are you going to do when you two break up?”

“Excuse me” I wheezed.

He grinned smugly, “Both of you, it makes sense but it won’t work on the long run. Both of you belong to the same class, well he is higher than you with just a bit. Even if somehow you manage to overcome the internal pressure of needs and wants.” He looked around the room, “Stability.” “Of course, you don’t get it because you live in your world, you two as a couple will become the symbol of what the government doesn’t want. Their new policy has worked nearly perfectly for years, they cannot have you two running around telling people that they can marry whoever they want, it is bad for the economy and knowing you, also bad for you.”

My eyes narrowed, “That makes no sense and I am a different person.”

“Of course you are.” He stood up. “I am glad that you’re alright.” He brought out a watch similar to the one with Chief, “you know what this is, use it only for emergencies.”

“Thank you.” He might say a lot of gibberish but I was grateful. “Also, if you knew me, you’d know that once I make a decision, I stand by it no matter how out of character it is, like you and me, we don’t make sense as friends, yet we are. The only friend I have except for Carlos but he’s more like a work wife.”

He grinned, “Friends huh? It has a nice ring to it.”

“I know.” I grinned back.

“Then as a friend, can I advise you?”

“No.”

“It would make me a bad friend if I can’t do that and I can’t allow myself to be bad at anything, can I?”

“You should try it, it would be great for character development.”

“My character development is at its peak, it does not get better than this.” He smiled.

I groaned, “You could use a humility pill once in a while.”

“Then perfection would be touched, we can’t have that. Point is, when there’s no where to turn, I’ll be here Fedor.”

“Why?”

“Because we are friends.” He left and closed the door behind.

Much later I opened the door and saw that everywhere had been cleaned and repairs had been made, Martha could actually be on the move by tomorrow. I was grateful that no one had bothered to disturb me, I don’t think I would have been able to clean much less join in the repairs. There were broken tables and chairs put by the side, I figured that I would work on them tomorrow since I skipped on the initial cleaning. I surmised that some of the men were over at Kurt’s ship; I made my way to the bathroom and undressed. I welcomed the cold shower and groaned at impact.

“That good?” Chief’s voice made me open my eyes; he leaned on the door while he watched. “Please continue, don’t mind my presence.” I gulped and my mouth went dry and I did not respond, I was frozen to the spot. “Speechless, that’s a rare occurrence. No snide jokes, improper comments, teases, don’t you have anything for me.” His voice went lower and I felt stuff in my stomach, I could feel my nipples hardening, this was so risky and so sexy. I remembered our first time and I swallowed again. He walked slowly towards me, when he was close enough that my naked body touched his; he slowly grabbed the soap out of my hands and turned me so he had access to my hair.

I heard his clothes drop before he drew me closer to him and slowly washed my hair, there were no words between us except for our heartbeats and the sound of the shower. He kissed my shoulder, before kissing my neck. His hands were on my waist and he pulled me until my behind was against him. He used a hand to move my hair to the side so he had better access to my neck. I groaned and ground against him and he stopped just before he fisted my hair and made me look upward before he kissed me hungrily and passionately, he consumed me and silenced my ever-loud thoughts. His lips and his hands worked in opposite to each other, while his lips demanded and possessed, his hands moved softly against my legs, and stomach before grabbing my breasts. I groaned against his mouth at the sudden pressure, I stood on my toes trying to extinguish the hunger in my lower belly.

Chief moaned into my lips before he grabbed my nipples, I panted against his lips as I felt his fingers in between my legs, the man knew what he was doing because I wanted to cry and hump him at the same time, even when I felt his fingers inside me and his thumb against my clit, it wasn’t enough. I wanted more, I wanted him as bad as I needed air but he was deliberate as if he wanted to make me desperate. His fingers slowly worked their way inside me while his other hand pulled my nipple and massaged my breast. His lips were on my neck and I begged for release. “Please.”

His fingers worked their way faster and harder and I screamed as I came the moment he pulled at my nipple but his hands did not stop working, the sensation was getting too much, I begged again, “Please” and he slowed down but this was much more frustrating now. I held him in my hands and I felt his fingers freeze, I tightened my hold on him as I dragged my hands up and down his tool, I looked up at him to see his eyes closed in pleasure, there was something I always wanted to try. I continued until I  knelt down, my eyes still on him. He opened his eyes confused for a second and just when our eyes met, I took him my mouth, I coiled in satisfaction when he groaned my name out loud and just let instincts take over or more like my years of watching and reading came into action. I knew when to suck just hard enough and when to fondle. Chief lost control and held my head in place until he came and I did exactly what he did to me, I did not stop even when he tried to pull away, there was something heady and powerful about having him under my spell. “Fedor, please…” He groaned and I let out with a pop.

The soreness in my jaw was worth the look of wonder in his face, I kissed his cheek before whispering, “I told you I was good with my hands.” He chuckled and carried me suddenly, I was not ready before he slammed into me and took my breath away. My back was against the wall as he pounded hard and fast, everything was a blip and our moans and groans filled the bathroom. After what I would consider to be a while, we were both spent. Chief turned off the shower and we carefully made our way to my room and continued, until we were truly spent and I had to say, my endurance had greatly improved.

We were covered by my small blanket, he gazed at me in that intense way I enjoyed and feared at the same time, “Where did you learn to do that?”

I pretended not to understand what he was saying, “Do what?”

His jaw went rigid, “I don’t want to be jealous but I can’t help the rage thinking that someone else had had you on your knees.”

“The Hypocrisy.” I muttered with a small smile.

“I know! I said I couldn’t help it, that was …”

“I know. Practicals were always my best forte. You can relax, it was my first time.”

He looked relieved and baffled, “Then how?”

“Instincts.” I chuckled. He was being cute.

“No way.”

“Way…” I laughed, “You are the one with the experience. I am glad I was able to surprise ….” There was a loud knock at my door.

“Fedor! Open! You haven’t had anything to eat today.” Carlos shouted from outside the door.

Our eyes widened in panic and my stomach growled at the thought of food, Chief whispered, “Really? Now?”