Daryl's Girl

Chapter 21

I woke up not feeling any better than I did last night. The guilt still settled in the pit of my stomach. Knowing that until we find some sort of evidence that she is still alive, it wouldn't go away. That if she wasn't, then I'd just have to live with that feeling forever and it was something I didn't want to do. All we had was the doll.

I just sighed and looked over my shoulder to find Daryl still sleeping a little ways away from me in the sleeping bag. Still with that invisible wall between us. The thought of waking him and telling him everything creeping into my mind, but I knew I shouldn't. The chances were he'd react the same way that I'd assume Rick or Shane would and I'd lose whatever relationship I had with Hershal because of it. I couldn't risk that. Not now. Not after everything. I promised I wouldn't.

After a couple minutes he started to stir and slowly opened his eyes. "Morning."

"You alright?" He croaked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Gotta be." Although I knew I wasn't. I had so many things on my mind that, at this point, I was struggling to keep up with. The barn. Hershal. This group. Sophia. Everyone from my old group. Tyler. My dad. What was next?

With those thoughts still racing through my mind, I left Daryl and made my way out of the tent and over to the others, who were all gathered around the campfire. No one saying a word and everyone minding their own business with Carol and Tdog both quietly cooking what looked to be eggs on over the fire. Meanwhile, Rick, Carl and Lori sat not too far away eating. Shane doing the same, glancing between Lori and Andrea whilst Andrea sat sharpening her knife. Dale nodding at Glenn from the opposite side of the fire. 

It was only Dale, Glenn and I that knew about the barn and seeing the look on everyone's faces made it clear to me just how mentally and physically exhausted we all were. They didn't need to know about what was happening on top of the string of dead ends we were coming across trying to find Sophia, and one way or another, I needed someway of talking to them away from the group, now I knew a little more, to convince them to keep the information to themselves.

I sat down in the nearest chair just as Daryl emerged from the tent. Everyone focused on what they were doing, unfazed by the two of us joining them. It was almost peaceful considering everything we were going through. 

Then Glenn stood up. "Erm, guys." He said, his voice shaken as everyone looked up. It wasn't until that moment, I noticed Maggie standing on the porch shaking her head, her arms folded watching us. That's when it clicked. Dale. Maggie. Glenn was about to... "So...the barn's full of walkers."

I sat shocked, but not in the same way as everyone else. I knew it was inevitable after what I'd said, but I'd had just hoped we could've spoken about it. Had a bit more time to figure out what to do before making it yet another problem. 

Before anyone else had a chance to say anything, Shane took off at a sprint towards the barn. Rick and Daryl hot on his heels. Everyone else taking a moment to let the news sink in before following on after them, leaving Dale, Glenn and I staring at one another. I think Glenn wanting to say something to the pair of us, but this wasn't the time. The three of us then not far behind.

Once there, by the sounds of it, Shane had already said his piece and was peering through the gaps in the wood. "You cannot tell me that you're alright with this." He growled, looking at Rick.

"I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land." Rick growled back.

It only seemed to anger Shane more. "This is our lives man." 

"Lower your voices." Glenn begged from besides me. Not that that would help.

Andrea shook her head. "We can't just sweep this under the rug."