Daryl's Girl

Chapter 146

I don't know how long the two of us stood there, but it was a while and I could finally feel myself letting go of all my anger and emotion. I hadn't let anyone touch me like that other than Lily, but the way Beth held me and refused to let go reminded me of her. It helped calm me.

I didn't know how to feel once she let me go. A part of me was ashamed and embarrased about how I had lost it in front of Beth, but another part of me felt relieved as all the anger and frustratiom had finally been put at ease. It was like I was lost in my own mind.

Once I finally plucked up the courage to turn around, I looked down at Beth with tired eyes. She was just looking back at me with a meaningful smile. I think it was her way of telling me she was there without her having to say it. I appreciated it more than she'd know and I cared to admit.

It felt as though I could finally breathe.

We stood there for a little moment longer before I walked over to the walker and pulled my arrows from its decaying body. I then followed Beth back into the shack where we each grabbed a drink, heading back outside and finally sitting down on the porch, drinking until it went dark. It was some what a peaceful moment.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking." Beth sighed as she looked out to the trees.

"Feel sick?" I asked.

"Nope." She smiled and glanced down to her glass. "I wish I could feel this all the time." She then giggled. "That's bad."

"You're lucky you're a happy drunk." I said, twisting my knife between my fingers and digging the wood out of the decking with the tip.

Beth just moved her head to the side and watched me. "Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink." She then looked at me with a teasing smirk on her face.

"Yeah." I agreed. "I'm a dick, when I'm drunk." I said giving her a small smile, which I was surprised to find I meant. If any of what happened this afternoon was anything to go by, being a dick was an understatement.

Beth just smiled back at me as a rather comfortable silence fell over us. It was peaceful with only the sound of the trees in the wind and the distant sound of the walkers. It allowed me to think about everything that's happened to us already and how things would've been different if we were still in Atlanta or on the farm or even still at the prison. If those we'd lost were still here and how things would've been if Lily hadn't lost our baby.

I'd been a different person back at the start. I'd been quiet and mostly kept to myself and I remember making it my mission to avoid anything to do with working in a group. Not much had changed with the first two, but now, I was part of a group, part of a family and there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep the last remaining member alive. I owed it to Hershal and I owed it to Lily.

I had no intention of making conversation after everything that had happened, but after a while, I found myself opening up. "Merle had this dealer." I said. "This janky little white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it, and he wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweakers kids favorite show, and he never sees his kids so he felt guilty about it or something."

I stopped and looked at Beth. For a moment I debated continuing the story as I didn't think she'd be remotely interested, but as she turned to face me, it told me she was. She was listening to every word I said, so I continued. "He punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker, like hard. As hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun, sticks it right here." I pointed to my temple. "He says 'I'm gonna kill you, bitch.' So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yelling. I'm yelling. I thought I was dead over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog."