I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 17

Jacobs pov:

I got back into my car after sitting on the park bench what felt like hours. Iv went over the last few days in my head, it feels like a lifetime had passed. I was always under the impression that littles were happy to be littles and be cared for, but seeing the internal turmoil that Luke's going through is difficult to watch. On one hand when he slips he's the cutest person and I love being his daddy. But when his mind is clinging on to being big when his body just wants to be little. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, to have all autonomy stripped from you, to loose your capacities to make your own day to day decisions. I definitely need to revisit the rules that I forcefully launched at him, I was wrong. To be a daddy to him and for him to be my little, it needs to be a partnership.

I look at my phone and I see all the missed calls, Ben, troy, Ryan and turner. "Oh god I hope everything's ok , pick up! pick up!" I say I as I phone waiting for them to answer. "Hey Jacob!" Ben answers. "Hey is everything ok, is Luke ok?" I ask in a panic, I can hear crying in the background. "Ye were just pulling in to the driveway, there's a certain little boy who really wants his daddy though" Ben says, after that I can hear Luke's high pitched shouts "DADA DADA DADDDDYYYY". "Tell him I'll be there in couple of minutes I'm just around the corner at the park" I say hanging up.

Swerving into the drive i quickly jump out of the car, running into the house. Crying can be heard from the living room, running through the door I see a red faced little Luke sitting on the floor staring up and me tears in his eyes. "Daddy" he said between sobs holding his arms up in the air. I quickly scooped him up into my arms stroking his back as he rested his head on my shoulder " shhhh baby boy your ok daddy here" I sooth. "I sowey dada no leave me gain pwease" he said as he continued to sob. I rhythmically bounce him on my hips, "daddy won't leave you don't worry".

A couple of minutes go by and soon the cry's turn into hiccups. I turn him gently, minding his ankle so I could sit down and cradle him on my lap he snuggled tightly into me. Ben passed me sky and a paci which here happily received by the almost asleep baby. "So what happened ? Sorry I didn't go, I feel so guilty about it all. But Iv cleared my head". I chat out and Troy spoke up, "don't worry Jacob it's been a stressful couple of days, it's hard your doing it on your own as the only caregiver. Just know we're always happy to step in and help where we can, he's like our baby brother.  Also Good news is there's no breaks but he does have a bad sprain, he's to try be off his feet for 1 week, be carried or crawling. Doc also suggested stairs gates aswell." Troy offered. I just nodded. That wouldn't be a bad idea I'll maybe get some tomorrow. "Thank you all, I think I might head up to bed and get this little one to bed also" "no problem dude, there's calpol on the kitchen counter for him for pain relief should he need it" Ben says. " thank you goodnight, see yous in the morning, I'm going to take a couple of days off from classes to just chill with Luke" I say as I walk out the door not waiting for a response.

I place him softly on the changing Matt, he stirred awake as I changed his diaper and got him dressed in 2 pieces pj set. I picked him up to place him in the crib and he whines out behind the paci " I sleep wiv daddy pwease? I sowwy" how could I say no to them beautiful little brown eyes staring up at me. "Ok baby just tonight, let me fix you a bottle".

Settling down on my bed with Lukes small frame in my arms. His soft eyes gazing up at me as I placed the bottle between his plump lips as he quickly latches on. His eyes going heavier as he gets to the end if his bottle. Soft snores were heard just before he finished, I lightly pick him up stroking his back making him lightly wiggle and burp, then settling back down, I place him on the bed making a pillow wall to stop him rolling off at the side, gently getting in at the other side of him I place a paci between his lips which is happily received.  I snuggled in beside him and cuddle him closely.

I'm awoken to stirring and whimpering beside me, I look at the alarm clock 03:00 turning as I look down at Luke he starts crying lightly. "Hey hey your ok what's wrong Luke?" "I sore" he whimpered back as tears fell softly down his cheeks. " ok let me get you some pain relief" I say turning to my lockers grabbing the bottle and a syringe dishing up the right amount, lifting him up slightly i pop the syringe in his mouth giving the dosage.  "Do you need a change Luke, do you mind if I check?" I ask softly making sure he's ok with my touch after all that's went down. "I wet, change please" he says quietly above a whisper clearly tired after a late bedtime. "Ok pumpkin, let me just run to your room to get everything." Pulling down his bottoms I make quick work of changing him and before we know we the lights are dimmed and he's snuggled back in to me paci back in mouth, sky in arms.