I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 24

⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️
suicidal thoughts and actions are mentioned in this chapter.
Please remember you are loved "it's ok not to be ok, its absolutely ok to ask for help"

Luke's pov:

I just sit there in the dimly lit room. Iv just hit Rock bottom. I have no enjoyment in my life. I'm a burden on everyone, I can't be my normal self for even a full day before I'm told I need to be little again. What do I have to look forward too ? Nothing! Playing with stupid toys, wearing stupid clothes, being talked to like I'm a baby, bottles, paci, having no control over my toilet habits and now I'm told I can't even attend my classes! This is not a life worth living.
I start to softly cry to myself, making sure to not make noise causing any of the others to come into me. I make a pile in the corner of the crib of the duvet blanks pillows and toys. I slowly climb it, my ankle aching as I put pressure on it but not hurting as much as my heart is. I with much difficulty swing my legs over the bars and try to slowly lower myself down at the other side bit unsuccessful land with a tud on my padded bum, staying silent I hold my breath trying not to make a sound as I listen out for footsteps. When the coast is clear I softly crawl over the the changing table as I continue to quietly sob. Standing up with much difficulty due to my sore ankle and that Iv not stood for a number of days feeling a bit wobbly. I reach as high as I can and knock a glass bottle over letting it roll of the side falling Trying to catch it, it takes me ages to figure out the child lock even with my big brain and snap it open gulping down the insides. Sitting down crying with the empty bottle liquid paracetamol beside me. I just want to be done with all this shit. I lay down crying holding myself as I slowly drift into a tranquil slumber.

Jacobs pov:

I sit in the living room with the other. I don't know what is happening. I know he's probably really upset about his classes. I wasn't not going to tell him I was just waiting for the right time. I'm brough back to reality from my thoughts by turner leaning into me, "you ok Jacob?" He asked looking up at me slightly. "Ye bud I am, I'm just not sure if Luke is. I think he's having a hard time adjusting." I say truthfully. Ben speakers up " I mean I'd be fucked up if I got the news he did and then to be told he can't go to class aswell? That Jason seems like an ass" He reflects on the information I gave them about our shopping trip.

Turner gets up from beside me. "Can I go check on him?" He asked for permission. "Sure bud go on" I said smiling as he left the room. In a matter of minutes I hear a loud scream of my name from turner. Jumping out of my chair I take the stairs almost 3 steps at a time running to Luke's room where turned continuously to choir my name. The others catching up behind me as I burst open the door. Falling to my knees beside Luke. "What happened!" I shout a turner who pales. "I don't know I found him like this with that bottle!" He shouts back almost crying, pointing to the paracetamol bottle. "Oh god, no no no no luke! What have you done! I pick his limp body up finding a pulse. "Get an ambulance now I scream at the boys!" Ryan picked out his phone dialling 999 asking for an ambulance for an overdose on a little. I cry rocking Luke back and forward in my arms. "I'm so sorry Luke I'm so sorry" I sob holding him tight as I hear Ryan tell the operator that he's breathing but unconscious. "There on there way" he says to us.

It felt like an eternity before I could hear the sirens, Troy ran to the front door to let them in directing them to the room. The quickly pull him from my tight grip getting him on the stretcher getting vitals on him and hanging an IV line. "Which one of you is his caregiver?" I raise my hand. "Ok you can come in the ambulance, I don't have room for the rest of you!" The male paramedic says. "Go jacob we'll follow in the car" Ryan says guiding me to follow behind the trolly.

Everything went by so quickly we were sitting in the Emergency Department as everyone buzzed around us putting medicine into his cannula to reverse the overdose. As things calmed down they let the other into the trolly space as a dr approach's. "Are any of you his caregiver?" I again step forward introducing myself. The doctor asked questions about how he had access to this medication how much was already gone out of the bottle before Luke took it and how he got the child lock off. I explained that it was out of reach on top of the table and that Luke had only been able to crawl due to his injury I was unsure how he got the bottle cap off, possibly because he was big space. The doctor noted it all down and said he has to pass it on to social workers as a little overdosing is serious.

I break down crying looking at little Luke on the trolly " I can't loose him, please!" I sob out as one of they guys hold me upright as I almost collapse against the side bars sobbing, all they guys look visibly upset aswell throughout my crys I hear a soft croaking "daddy?" Lifting my head I see Luke peaking through had shut eyes. "Omg Luke!" I said crying lunging forward to kiss his forehead. The doctor looked over "well hellos there Luke! You gave us all a big fright! How are you feeling?". "Luke looked confused seeing all the boys around him looking visibly upset. "I'm ok what's happening" Luke asked. I was about to explain about the medication but the doctor sushed me. "Nothing to worry about little one, now a nice lady is coming in to stay with you and we're going to move you to the little ward" the doctor said as I looked at him confused as did Luke, before I noticed me and the guys are being pulled out of the room, leaving Luke crying trying to reach out to me screaming "no daddy don't leave!". I could hear the blood curdling screams as we were ushered away from his room into another.

"Hello boys" i stern looking women entered the room. " now which of you kids are the caregiver for baby Luke" she said as she continued to look at her files.
"I am the ADULT that is Luke's daddy" now can I go and see him please. I said standing up towering over her, the others standing up behind me. "Sir sit down, we have some things to discuss before I consider letting you near the child". I sigh not wanting to ruin my chances to see him again. She asked a multitude of questions similar to the doctor regarding the logistics of the medication and how Luke came to get it. I explained the ankle injury and now having baby gates, and that he had been unable to walk. I explained Luke finding out he can't attend class anymore today and that it made him upset. " hmm right. Ok. I see" she said as she wrote down on her note pad. "So can I see him?" I asked after a brief pause in conversation. "I'm afraid not sir. We will need to pull forward your home visit to ensure that is is a suitable home for a little to inhabit. Luke may be more suitable in a home that has excellent experience in dealing with unwilling littles" she said not looking up from the paper. "Wait what? No you can't take him, he's our family!, he's not unwilling! He's perfect! There's just an adjustment period, he doesn't need some stranger forcing him to be little!!" I shout out as the others hold me. "Be that as it may sir that's not for you to decide, I'll be at your house at 1pm tomorrow, please ensure that you are in" and with that she up and left. I break down crying. Troy speaks up, "turner me you and Ryan will go back to clean up the house and set all off the little things up for the inspection. Ben you stand here, with Jacob, incase they let you see him" Ben just nods and guide me back out of the room following the signs for the little ward. We're denied access so we sit outside waiting. Each time the doors open I could heard wails form inside that souls like Luke, each time making me break down.