I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 51

Jacob pov:

As I changed Luke I couldn't believe what I just saw, never in a million years would I have imagined that I would be walking in on them both. I look down as I resnapped Luke's clothes back on for a nap, I'm so glad the carrier faced me and not out. "Up we go, good boy, let's have some milkies" I said turning on his bottle maker and sitting down cuddling him in with a blanket around him. Soon I placed the nipple into his mouth as he eagerly began to suckle as we rocked, he finished the bottle with tired eyes as I burped him and snuggled him tightly in the blanket to me.  I stroke his back gentle and he was soon sucking on his paci fast asleep!

I transfer him into my room, I should really get another crib back in his room for nap Time, making a mental note. I opened a sleep sack flat on the crib mattress and place him gently on it before zipping it closed making him cosy again. Pulling up the side rail I back out of the room.

I can hear crying coming out of bens room, Troy's door is open so I know he's not in there. Gently knock I get a "go away!" Before I could said anything. "Ben it's Jacob, I just want to check on you to make sure your ok" I said in a hushed tones through the door. "I'm fine!" He shouted back before continuing to sob. "Ben I'm coming in ok" I said, "noooo" he said as I opened the door.

I walk over to find him face down in his pillow crying hard. I closed the door walking over to the bed sitting on the edge.  I lean over stroking his back. "Ben it's ok, we won't care if your both gay" I said reassuringly. "I'm not gay!!" He said shouted Turing and sitting up the face me, face red with tears, embarrassment and anger. I'm not sure what to say to that, it leaves me confused. "But you were...?" I started to say when I got cut off. "I'm not gay! I I don't like men! It's just Troy, today was the first time we em" he said looking down crying again. "Awh ben that's ok, you don't need to label anything or yourselves. Did it feel right?" I asked not sure if I'm over stepping a boundary. He just nodded as sobbed softly.  I scoot closer wrapping my arms around me as he hugs back placing his head on my shoulder. I gently rub his back as he starts to calm down. "I'd offer you a paci to calm yourself but I don't want to be slapped" I said making a joke making Ben laugh and pull away wiping his remains tears

"Is Luke still really little?" He asked genuinely. I smiled and nodded "ye he didn't really understand the park, he just watched turner make sandcastles. Oh we make a new friend for them, we'll mostly turner as their the same head space. It's Emily, her daddy is Freddy, remember ? Really tall dude" I asked. "Oh no way I didn't know he was a caregiver! That's sweet they made a friend, when Luke's in a higher little space I'm sure he'll fit in fine with them!" Ben said to which I nodded.

"Fancy coming down for a coffee? I know you might feel awkward but it's just us, the little ones are napping" I said, Ben looked unsure but then nodded. Standing up I notice Ben rubbing his back. "You ok?" I asked concerned. His cheeks adorned a light pink shade. "Oh em ye, I'm fine!" He said defensively. Walking down the stairs as I peeked into Both boys to see them still snoozing I really hope Luke stays little when he wakes up, this will be so good for him!.

Walking into the kitchen Troy is sitting at the table looking up at us both almost surprised to see ben. Ryan brings over a coffe pot and some mugs, "just in time! Coffee anyone?" Ryan said pouring it into the mugs. Ben sits beside Troy before saying yes please as he hissed with contact with the chair. Ryan handed me a cup and as he sat beside me. There was a slight awkwardness at the table as the only sound left was us slurping.

Ben was the 1st to break the silence "Jacob was saying the boys met a friend for them at the park." "Awh that's great! Who is he?" Troy asked. "She, it's Freddy's little one Emily, turner seemed to enjoy playing with her, lukie was a little be to young to play" Ryan said. "I really hope this nap doesn't reset him back into big space, he's doing so well!" I said. We continued to make chit chat over what we done at at park when my phone chimmed. "Sorry guys Luke's awake!" I said standing up and heading upstairs. "Daddy up?" He said as soon as I walked in my room making me smile. "How was me best boys nap? Did you sleep well" I asked. "Ya daddy! Hungy!" He said, he's definitely in a bigger headspace bit still little judging on his range of vocabulary rather then just the baba and dada he has when he's really small. "What would you like to eat?" I asked as I unzipped his sleep sack holding him on my hip. "Eggs!" He said excitedly.

Getting into the kitchen I placed Luke to stand on the floor, he wabbley walked over to the table holding his arms up to whoever would take him, "come to Ben!" He said lifting him go to sit on his lap. "Did you have fun at the park lukie?" To which he nodded, looking over at me waiting on his food. I make omelettes cutting it into strips for him to hold I also make shoulders. "Ok lukie let's get your lunch!" I lifted him placing him into his highchair placing his bib on he egarly began to pick it up eating with his hands, god he looks adorable.

Ryan gets up to get turner coming back down placing him on the floor, "hey lil T you want some eggs too?" I said crouching down as he toddles over. "Okay but I'm big now" he said pouting. "Ok you got it, some scrambled egg coming up for the big boy!" I said making him fold his arms pouting harder, he's cute. Ryan picked him up placing him in his highchair. "Noooo not this chair!" He whines as Ryan places his bib on. I seen turner glance over to Lukie happily eating his omelette soldiers and toast. "Turner do you want yous cut like lukies or do you want normal scrambled eggs with a fork?" I seen him glance over again "em like lukies" he said blushing. "Okie dokie darling!" I said going back to the stove.

I placed a plate down on turners tray petting his hair as I hear Ryan said "ah ah lukie no throwing food on the floor!" As he picked up piece from the floor as lukie  flung another piece over the edge giggling. I chuckle taking the next piece from his hand. "I think someone full and is just being a funny boy eh? Let's have your bottle!" I sai lifting him out grabbing his bottle and sitting down placing him on my lap handing him his bottle as he holds it with his to hands, "such a big boy drinking his bottle himself" I said softly to Luke's ear, he turned slightly and I kissed his soft hair stroking his leg.

"That you done my ninja turtle?" Ryan said to turner, "papa I'm biiiggg!!" Turner said as Ryan lifted him out of his high chair, placing him down on the ground, "here big boy you have your sippy cup" Ryan said handing it to turner as he smiled feeling big " tank you papa" he said  "I go pay" he continued with his sippy in his mouth walking into the living room.

"I think he's littler then he thinks!" I said smiling at Ryan as I pat Luke's back burping him, putting his paci in his lips. "You want to play with turner lukie" as he nodded placing him down holding his hand we walked into the living room "turner can lukie play with you?" I said still holding his hand. Turner looks up holding his Lego blocks in his hand "otay" I let him toddle over plonking down beside turner and start to build as well. Smiling I head back to the kitchen where troy his helping Ryan clean up wiping down the highchairs.

Troy stands behind Ben at the table rubbing his shoulders, as grab out some beers, handing them both one as Ben blushes while I just smiled, "just keep it PG in front of the little ones" I said half joking to them. Troy slapped my arm playfully, "hey don't make this weird dude" as he laughed. "Hey our 2 straight best friend are hooking up!" I said "and our other 2 best friends are littles" Ryan said. We all stand there reflecting for a second before we all start laughing.

"Dada come look!" Luke said at the doorway, "coming baby!" I said walk after him taking a sip of beer, "omg look at the size of that tower! That's amazing did you help each other?" Luke jumped up and down excited. "Yes it big!" He said and tired stood beside him. "You too did an amazing job together" I said holding my hand out to hi 5 them both. "Shall I put on paw patrol for yous?" Asked and Luke nodded jumping again and turner just said "sure" with a sigh. I pop it on and Luke pooped down to watch it straight away.  I turned to turner  kneeling down to his height "what's wrong turner?" I asked as he avoided eye contact, as he just shrugged. "Come on you can tell me" I said, he pointed to the beer in my hand, I wan be big, have beer wiv my fweiends" he said looking sad I can tell he's flutter between big and little space. "Awh turner I'm sorry, how about I get you both some juice and some cookies and we all come in here together? We could play a game or watch something together?" He thinks for a second then nods. "Good boy, will you sit here and watch little lukie like a good big boy and I'll get the others?" He nodded. "Otay!" He said toddling over to sit with lukie.

Into the kitchen I say to the others that turner wants to be big and have beers with his friends, I make him a sippy and lukie a bottle of half water half apple juice. Grabbing a couple of cookies out for them we all get a fresh beer walking into the living room to the boys handing them there juices, we all settle on the floor around them, "how about snakes and ladders game?" Ben suggested grabbing it out, Luke turns excitedly and crawls over to sit in my lap excitedly. Turner scoops so he's sitting beside ryan talking a drink of his sippy. It almost feels just like old times.