I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 54

Turners pov:

I feel like I'm hovering just out of little space when I'm placed in the highchair in Mc Donald's, papa comes back to the table carrying a tray full of food and I feel excited, this has been such a good day and we get Mc Donald's! Luke beside me in his chair is giddy excited bouncing up and down. I see too happy meals on the tray, Iv not had a happy meal in absolute years I wonder do they still do toys? Papa and Jacob dish up our nuggets and chips and place the fruit juice bottle on our trays. Jacob pulls 2 bibs out of the diaper bag and put it on both of us.

We're all tucking in to our food as I notice papa and Jacob give each other funny looks, "so boys there is something that we need to speak to yous about" Jacob said gaining both of our attentions. "So me and Ryan are going to need to go back to class next week" he began, no I knew this day was too good to be true, I though looking down suddenly not feeling as hungry anymore. "And we have some periods in the week where we have class at the same time, we've been looking at options for places for you both to be in while we're at class." He said with a pause, I felt myself age up, "where are you putting us?" I said looking between them both. "We'll there's 2 places that we've narrowed it down to with the best reviews and reputation, also that yous can be in the same classroom together" Ryan said. "Em where are they?" I asked then looked at Luke, I couldn't really read his expression and i couldn't tell if he was still little but he was just playing with a nugget in his hand. "So one is at the university, it's the littles nursery, little rascals" Ryan said making me wince at the thought of being in nursery at the university, where his classmates were all going to be close by, you can walk right beside the play garden and see all the littles outside in it. "The seco-" "no" I said cutting Ryan off. "What's wrong turner?" Jacob asked still in hushed tones as to not draw attention in the busy loud Mc Donald's. "We won't be going there" I said looking at Luke as he looked at me. "But you haven't been to see it?" Ryan asked. " I don't care, we're not going there. Where's the second option?" I asked leaning back folding my arms. "Oh em well it's called little treasures nursery, it's on the way to the nursery, but the uni one means we could pop in on our break and-" "don't care" I said cutting Jacob off, "we'll go to the second option" I said pushing my food away loosing my appetite.

I understood that eventually they would need to go back to class and being. With them 24/7 wasn't an option, it didn't make me feel any better that we can't just Be home by ourselves, that we need 'constant supervision'. The joy I felt about the day was evaporated into thin air. "Lukie what do you want to do?" Jacob asked him. "Wan stay with daddy" he said with a trembling lip, ok he's still little so probably hasn't taken into account the conversation. "Oh petal I know, it's only for short amount of time, who ever out of us both is finished 1st will pick yous up, do you know which nursery you want to go to?" Jacob said stroking Luke's cheek. "With daddy" he said. "You want to go to the one closest to daddy?" Jacob said as lukie nodded. I really don't think that he will agree with that premise once he's big.

"We'll let's not make any decisions about it today we will visit both tomorrow and then we can all decide together" Ryan said, are they completely disregarding my input already. "I said no to the 1st one I don't want to visit it, I want to go to the second one" I said annoyed. "Yes turner I know but lukie would like to see the 1st option so we'll have to go see both to pick." Ryan said stroking my arm. I pulled it away "no we don't! Just send us to different places! You can't make me go there and see it!" I said, I don't want to step foot on the uni campus like this, it wasn't a big place and your always guaranteed to see a good few people that you know. "Turner I don't see what the big deal is going to see both options, what if you don't like the second option?" Ryan said. I just sighed I wasn't going to justify myself, "I don't care. I'd rather be somewhere that I hate then be in the 1st option!" I said slightly raising my voice and putting my hands firmly on the tray making lukie flinch which was not my intention, I just feel frustrated. "Turner stop you're scaring Luke, now eat up and we'll head home" Ryan said pointing to the food on my tray, I push it forward so it falls off the table in front of me as I lean back pouting. "Turner! That is unacceptable behaviour! Why did you do that!" Ryan said cleaning the mess, "I'm not hungry I want to go home" I said placing my head down on the tray.

After a few minutes I feel myself be picking up and walking out of the restaurant to the car as I'm strapped into my car seat. Ryan gets in the front without saying anything to me. Soon Luke is placed into his seat beside me as he smiles over behind his paci. I just look away, it's not Luke's fault, but if he wasn't little right now he would surly agree with me.

We set off for home and I'm carried into the house and then placed down on a bench for my shoes to be pulled off, Ryan still hasn't spoken to me as I'm picked up again and carried towards the stairs, where am I going ? I want to go into the living room? Im brought into my room and placed on the changing table. "No thank you" I said trying to sit up but I'm lay back down, "turner I need to change your diaper your soaked" Ryan said to me sighing as he grabbed out fresh diapers and wipes and powder from the shelves below. "You mad at me for no reason! I don't want you to change me!" I said pushing against his arm feebly. "Turner your being difficult, I need to change your diaper, your soaking and will leak soon" he said as he began undressing me to just the diaper before soon I was nude and getting wiped down. I started to cry from being frustrated and angry that I couldn't make my own choices for anything, from when I'm changed to what I'm dressed in to where I'm put into for care. One very thick diaper later I'm placed into a footie sleeper that is white with little brown bears all over it. I avoid eye contact with Ryan as he connects a paci clip on me and put it's in my mouth for me to spit out angrily. "Come on let go downstairs" he said picking me up. "No put me to bed" I said defeated. "Turner it's only 6pm?" He argued. "I don't care, I want to go to bed please? Or am I not allowed to decide that for myself either?" I said wiggling. "Fine, in you go" Ryan said sighing and putting up the rails, closing the blinds, blocking out the sun light, he put on a star projector and left the room "night turner, I love you" he said as he left. I whispered to myself before he closed the door "no you don't".

I lay crumpled in a ball crying resting my cheek on sully dampening him with my tears. I probably should have said to them my reason for not wanting to go to the 1st place but they can't blame me for not able to get my point across i was little most of the day and they I was snapped big in frustration. My belly made a big grumble as I winced, the hunger from not eating was creeping back into me as I held my tummy as I cried.

It felt like hours had passed and I was still crying slightly as I became more hungry and thirsty as a cried. I heard the door open as I still lay facing away, the bars are lowered and I'm gently rolled over to face the person, it was Ryan, I tried to roll away but I was easily picked up "come on turner you've been crying for so long, come here to papa, Iv got you a warm bottle to help your throat and fill your tummy up" he said as he rocked me slowly in his arms as he sat down in a rocking chair and placed the bottle to my lips. I feebly restrained before i gently drying the warm yummy drink, silencing my tears.

Ryan's pov:

I expected more of an issue from Luke then turner for the nursery, I don't understand why he was so against the little rascals nursery at the uni, it was the one with the best reviews, I though that would be their top as we would be close and could drop into see them between classes. We're torn on what to do about tomorrow, whether to still bring him to see it as he might change his mind. I don't understand how he would want to be separated from Luke aswell, he never gave any reason.

To hear him said "no you don't" after I said I loved him really hurt me, I felt slightly upset but held in my tears as I walked down stairs. I monitored him on his crib camera and he didn't move a muscle, all I could see was him crumpled up crying as his tummy grumbled. I let him cry seeing if he could get it out of his system before the daddy guilt hit me for letting him self sooth, he was big but yet so emotional, something that he's not telling me about is bothering him, I had tuned out the other chatting at I then head into the kitchen to make a full bottle for him.

Watching him turn away crying after he knew it was me hurt me but I needed to be there for him regardless, I pick him up and try and sooth him. Soon his sucking on his bottle his red blotchy eyes looked everywhere but me. I kiss his forehead every as I place the now sleeping boy into his crib, I place a light blanket over him and pop his paci into his mouth and snuggle sully in beside him. Retreating to my room to head to bed as I feel we're going to be in for more arguments again tomorrow.