I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 35

Ryan's pov:

Turner was leaning into me continuing to fiddle with the paci in his hands, as he bit his lips. I quietly take the paci from his hands making him look up at me as I held it to his lips giving him a nod of encouragement he accepted it glancing at the others to see if they are looking, visibly relaxing into a steady suckle.
Jacob comes in holding Luke and his bottle settling him on his lap with his Luke's back leaning against jacobs chest. Luke was feeding himself a bottle, he must be feeling bigger. I see turner keep glancing over to Luke, I whisper to him, " you want one?" He looked at me surprised. His body wanting to say yes but shaking his head no rubbing his eyes tired. "I'll get you one you don't need to drink it" he looked at me shocked and whined as I walked out coming back quickly with a bottle of the warm milk. "Sippy?" He said shaking his head as I tried to hand him the bottle. "Just try it, it's like using your paci, it will be nice" I said encouragingly. He sighed pulling the paci out popping the bottle between lips, it took him a couple of try's to get the correct rhythm down to drink but he settled right into my side. The soft suckling of the two of them and there bottles could be heard along side the movie. Luke was the 1st to drop to sleep. Jacob picked him up whispers that his last nap was too short and brought him up to bed. I looked down at turner the bottle slowly lowering as he had fallen asleep. I swapped it for the paci again. Before I lifted him up slightly struggling as he's pretty much nearly full size still, Jacob comes in "here let me" he said easily Sitting him on his hip. I sigh just following them up stairs, I watch as he expertly changes him into a diaper and tucked him into the middle of the bed.

We both go back down together. I sit down on the sofa. "I feel like I need a beer!" I say groaning. "1st day of being a daddy getting to you hmm?" Jacob said sitting beside me. "Huh?" I said glancing at him. "Ryan I think we should book you both in for a re test" he said patting me on the shoulder. "What why do I need a re test?" I said confused looking around the room, "we already know I'm a dom". Troy interjected. "Dude your clearly a daddy". "I'm just helping him out" I said still looking between them all. "Ye Ryan your a daddy, I didn't think to help him out the way you did?" Ben said. "Ye but that's cause your my little benny" Troy said making me hella confused. "WAIT HOLD THE FREAKING BUS! What? bens little?" I shouted.
Ben fired a dirty look at Troy I'm not little don't worry, Troy is just messing with you, you stop that!" Ben said pointing his finger at troy who's sitting with a big smile on his face.

Jacob speaks back up, "ok I can get you both in tomorrow morning for retest, that cool?" "Woooow wow wow, I'm not sure about this" I said confused. "I know I said about not pushing a test on him, but he's clearly a little and we need to get him with Luke going to nursery, I can't take another week off work and college!" Jacob said. "Have you spoke to either of them about going to this place?" I asked. "Em not exactly, I'll say it to both of them tomorrow after the testing. what else am I ment to do! Ryan you need to get tested to be a daddy. I can't handle 2 littles alone" Jacob said dejected, "ok I will, but what if I'm not one?" I ask perplexed. "We can deal with it when it comes to it." He said booking it in. "I'm not looking forward to telling turner" I said leaning back against the couch sighing.

Turner pov:

I wake up and I'm still sucking the paci, I want to pull it out but it feels nice, I get out of bed waddling to the door, wait how I did I get to bed? I think looking around then I'm suddenly aware of the increased thickness between my legs. "Noooo, why are they treating me like a little!" I probably have a urine infection or something causing the bed wetting, ye that's it I tell myself, but that wouldn't explain liking the paci and bottle, natural reaction? Nostalgic! Yer that's it.  I walk into the hall acutely aware of the stairs gate blocking me from getting down. I push into Luke's room, he's still asleep in his crib. I look at him sucking his paci and then me sucking mine. We seem so similar but not at the same time.

"Stawp stawin at me" Luke said sighing opening his eyes, he pulls out the paci. "Why are you looking at me?" Luke asked, making me pull out mine aswell "eh em I'm not sure, are you big?" I asked curious? "Ye I think so, are you?" He asked taking me aback. "I am always big" I say adamantly. "Look turner if this is when your going to say your not a stupid little again save it, you hurt my feelings" he said looking down at his lap. "I I'm sorry Luke, I honestly didn't mean you stupid. I think it's easy to say being a little is fine until it you yourself that's being told that. I'm scared Luke" I said softly. "It made me sad, it's hard enough coming to term with being little myself, I still don't feel comfortable in it. Like look at me I'm 20 sitting in a crib dressed like a baby in my nursery. I was partying like 2 weeks ago, I don't know I think I'm just expected to accept it all, I don't have a choice." Luke said dejected with a glisten in his eyes.  "Your right Luke I'm sorry you feel forced into it, I can see things from your prospective now. Non of this is easy, I wish we could just run away and be ourselves again" I said stroking the crib bars looking at Luke. "I know your not officially little yet but I'm glad to have you in it with me, will you get retested?" Luke asked with his head tilted. "I think the others will make me.  I don't want to though it feels to final to confirm what we know. Like I'm still technically a neutral, I can go out by myself and go class, I don't know if I'm ready to give it up" I said tears forming.

"Can you put the bars down?" Luke asked. "I'll try, yep here you go" I said after finding the latch. Luke held his arms out and I hug him as he sits in his crib.

"Hey guys you both have good naps?" Jacob said coming into the room smiling. We separate from our hugs nodding. "Anyone need a change?" Making me blush. "I'm not sure" I said "I don't think so" Luke said. "Let's have a little check shall we?" Jacob said lifting Luke up onto the changing table, "a little wet baby, it's not to bad it will hold till bedtime" Jacob said lifting Luke down onto the floor. He came towards me now, "noo I don't want check" I said whining as he walked me towards the table then picking me up to sit on it pushing me back down pulling down the pj bottoms, "your the same T, but wet but it will hold" and he pulls up my pants. "Wait what about a pull up" I looked up at him sitting on the edge of the table, "turner you'll be getting ready for bed soon, your diaper will hold till then" Jacob said lifting me down.

He picked up Luke onto his hip, holding out his free hand to me, "come on turner" I just sigh taking it waddling beside him the thick diaper ruining my gait. I feel really embarrassed. It was bad enough to be in the pull up. Coming into the living room behind Jacob I pulled my hand out of his holding my top down trying to conceal the diaper. Ryan pat the seat beside him for me, beside where's Jacob sat with Luke on his lap. Ben spoke up "we're going to get a pizza for dinner tonight guys" looking at me and Luke. I smiled and Luke gave a "yaye!".

Jacob spoke up as he stroked Luke's back "Turner there's something we need to speak to you about". Omg no what is it my breathing quicked as I looked between all of them, I steadied my voice enough to say "what is it?". Ryan stroked my back, "it's about re testing, we think you should get it done soon" i shook my head and scooted away. "No I'm neutral you can't make me!" I shouted. Jacob spoke up making me look at him and Luke who had a sad look on his face " turner your not neutral, your 1st test must have been wrong darlin" "don't fucking call me that!" "Turner don't curse, we're looking out for your wellbeing, you can't go around by yourself, you might drop!" Ryan said. " I won't drop! Please don't make me! Please" I said breaking down to a sob, I feel Ryan arms wrap around I try to shake them off but he pulled me in tight, "shhh turner we'll get tested together ok" I look up at him still tears streaming down my face. "You test?" I asked confused. "Yes turner I'll get tested with you, I think I'm wrong too pet" he sad stroking me. I feel myself wetting my diaper while I cry.