I can't be a Little? (Completed)

Chapter 46

Luke's pov:

I wake up letting my eyes flicker open as the memory from last night flood back in. I look around to see I'm in the almost empty crib with just ski in it. Looking around I noticed my crib is in jacobs room beside his bed. I could hear Jacob speaking in the bathroom, but I'm not sure who with. I look down to notice the space theme pj set and my eyes started to water again, I fling ski out of the crib in frustration. I crouch in the corner with my hands on my face. Minimal tears falling as I must have cried them all last night. The bathroom door cracks open as Jacob said, ok that's great thank you for fitting us in so soon!" I glance up through my bee sting eyes to see he was on the phone.

"Awh Luke, hi" he said pulling down the side of the crib standing over me. I look back down at my lap avoiding eye contact as I quietly cry. "Lukie? Can I pick you up?" I shake my head no, scooting away from him. "Just leave me alone please" I barely get out over a whisper. Jacob just sighed sitting on the bed facing me. "Luke Iv phone a specialist who helps people particularly littles find happiness in their new roles" he began, I didn't dare glance up. Am I ment to go see a shrink that's going to tell me to play baby. "I think it wouldn't be good for you, you were settling in so great, I just don't want to chance loosing you again to strangers" I glance up to see Jacobs eyes brimming with tears. "Non of this is fair. Why do you get to be the classification that you want but I'm left to suffer and whittle away to being a babbling baby, you've not lost anything." I said as my breathing hitched again into tears.

"Luke, I know you can't see it but your the most amazing little, every day I look at you I can't imagine you being anything but little. Your still the funny,cheeky Luke, your still you, It breaks my heart to see you breaking like this, I'm sorry but we need to get you help". Jacob said wiping his tears.

"Iv got us an appointment this morning, can I get you changed and dressed?" He asked standing up wearily. "Looks like I don't have a say in any of this anyway" I said scooting the the front of the crib but not engaging or holding eye contact. I'm picking up and placed on his hip walking into my room, I'm placed down and my wet diaper is removed and replaced. A snap crotch onsie is placed over my head and a matching wine/ navy tracksuit is pulled on top. Jacob tried on multiple occasions to engage in conversation but I gave no response.

Carrying me down stairs he stopped in the kitchen, I look to see turner Sitting in his high chair holding his mouth open for the next spoon of yogurt Having parts smeared across his cheeks. I'm shuck back to reality when Jacob waved his hand in front of my face. "You want something to eat Luke", to which i shakes my head looking down at all the others who held a pitty look on their faces. "Can you put me down, I'll wait in the living room for you to eat" I said wiggling down then walking away. "Luke sorry can you stay in the kitchen, I want to be able to see you" Jacob said making me turn on my heals. "Jesus Christ I'm not going to fucking kill myself in the living room I just want to breathe!" I said turning around almost stomping into the living room.

The sofas feel so high to try get up on so I settle on the rug, just sitting there legs crossed reminiscing on all the fun happy memories we had in here before the change. I'm again lost in memories when Jacob came in to pick me up, Iv packed some fruits and milks incase you get peckish or thirsty. I knew he was treading lightly around me as he placed me delicately into the rear facing car seat, another thing solidifying my infantilism.

Pulling into the car park, panic starts to rise again. "Wait no take me home!" I shout out pulling uselessly on the straps. "Jacob please, take me home!" I start to cry. He opened the car door reaching in to clip me open, I poorly attempted to push his hands away as I kick my legs. I'm picked up as I tried to flip myself back as I loudly sob! As we entered into reception. "Jacob please, take me home, I'm sorry I'm sorry please Jacob! Please daddy!" I screamed out. "Shhh Luke this is all to help you" "I don't need help!!" I screamed at him as my name was called. I see all the eyes on me on the waiting room realising the audience I had grown.

"Hello Jacob" the doctor said closing the door as we entered. "And this must be Luke! Luke I'm very sorry to hear you've been so sad, can we have a chat about it?" I cried out a "go away!" Leaning into Jacob. I could hear the dr then speak to Jacob obtaining a history about my "journey to littleness" as they phrased it. I'm picked up and turned around in jacobs lap so my back was to his chest.

"Luke I'm sorry your not feeling like your self, your still Luke you have just so much more added quality!" The doctor spoke sweetly. "What like pissing and messing myself? Can't feed myself? Can't walk even? Can't talk properly? Can't finish my degree, yep it all sounds like a great happily ever after" I hiss out. "Luke if only you can see yourself when your little, your more happy then Iv ever seen you big!" Jacob said stroking my arms.

The doctor tried to speak more to me but I block it all out. " I don't think we're making to much progress here I can see" the doctor began. "Jacob how frequently is he big?" He continues. "Oh god, em most days maybe even if it's just for a couple of hours" Jacob said. "Oh well no wonder the boys confused, clicking between little space to big space isn't good for them, I think Luke would really benefit from at least a week of being solely little to let him adjust and find himself in his new world" he doctor says as I looked up at him mouth wide open. "No please don't take my being big away from me!! Please daddy please!!" I begged looked between them both, the doctor spoke up, "Luke I think we're going to need to give you a drop shot" that's it I lost it screaming, "no please don't please daddy!please daddy!!" I said scrambling to turn into jacobs chest. "Do you think I could try keep him little more naturally 1st I don't want to medically force him, I just want him to be happy" I heard Jacob say as he squeeze me kissing my head. " we'll it's up to you, your the care giver, I can only mearly advise, you need to keep him permanently regressed for a few days at least then ease it to longer, is there another little in the home?" The dr asked. "Yes dr we have another little, he has frequent big time aswell" Jacob said bouncing me to settle me. "Can I suggest a similar approach for him as well? If you find it's still an issue in a week please get in touch again" I can feel Jacob standing walking out. He walks us to a bench outside the clinic. "I'm sorry Luke" he said pulling me in for a cuddle. "I love you I just want the best for you" he said kissing my head " thank you for not getting me the shot" I said quietly, " that's on the condition you try stay little for the rest of the week lukie, how about a drink? You've been crying a lot" Jacob said as I nodded. He handed me a bottle of milk "I I'm still big" I said looking up at him "come on pumpkin let's try and change that and get my happy little Luke back" I feel another kiss on my forehead as I'm moved into the cradle position and the bottle placed between my lips. I was acutely aware of being bottle fed out in the open, the pain in jacobs eyes make me comply as I closed my eyes focusing on my sucking rhythms.