MaNan : Only Fools Fall For You

58. Email My Heart

To- Manik Malhotra's Nandini

From- Nandini Murthy's Manik

Reading this she couldn't wait a minute to click on the maximum screen on her laptop as she opened his email, admiring how he addressed both of them. (Pre-script: This reminds me of assuming you were a spy who wants insider information on a CIA case. It's even more hilarious when I think back on how you didn't even know the full form of C.I.A!! You adorable human!)

Hello, Nandini.

I know we broke up, but still, I like to call you mine as much as I am yours. 

I am such a bad boyfriend, I never called you with sweet nicknames but I don't want to. They're overrated. Like everyone I want you to call something, but I never gave you any nickname. 'Nandini' feels nice when I say out and I want to say that name as many times as I can before I die. 

That's even though you are sweetheart or darling, I find your name more lovable than anything. Ha ha, why I am writing this here...

Night and day, my mind delights me with the tender thought of you, my most beautiful junior doctor, I am unsure of why I write this. It's 3 hours past midnight and I should be asleep. Yet, I can't seem to stop thinking of you. 

Why is it that you make me so happy, Nandini? Why is it that you take my pain away, that my anxieties vanish into thin air upon the gentle reverie of your smile?

Your smile, I could write fifteen passages just on your smile and how it makes my heart thump unusually, but I will not do so today. 

Nandini, I don't know what will happen now. I don't know what will unfold next few years. All I know is I have never felt joy as I have when I have woken up to you by my side.

This break up of ours. I can't blame our reasons. I can't blame you. 

I can only blame myself for so foolishly falling in love with you and failing to see why you're leaving me. Failed to put the puzzle together sooner. I apologize for making you think that I care about my career more than you, oh, I thought the same too.. but here I am, realizing how wrong was I..

Love is a foolish thing, isn't it?

I thought love was a delusional concept that people believe to lie to themselves in their happy bubble, like fools.

However now, it seems love is the giggle you let out when I make a comment about your squishy cheeks. It seems love is the twinkle in your eyes when you see me. It seems love is the gentle wave in my heart that I feel whenever you smile. You are love, my love. 

You taught me what love is. You taught me how to be happy. I owe you everything, Nandini.

I don't think I can ever let you read how ridiculous I sound here. I mean, it is almost morning now and I had to erase the two paragraphs I wrote about your eyes.

I know you asked me to talk to you straight but I'm sorry I am extremely nervous around you, more so lately. Just a timely reminder that just because you don't see my car outside does not mean I'm done. 

Do you not know me? I like to square up always and this is revenge on you for choosing me when I myself didn't know I was ready for a relationship.

So... tomorrow at 5 pm, Model Square Park.

So basically nothing has been going how it was supposed to. I think I have started to turn a little dubious about you ever giving me another chance but hey, that's a we-problem and we'll make it work. 

This is why I've /not/ added a 'No' from you tomorrow in the preparation. Haha.

Nandini Murthy, you make me act strangely. 

I am happy to meet you. Even if we are not together now and future (hope not), I will be forever glad that I met you till the day I die. I will be glad that I had you for a few months till the day I die. I will be glad that we stumbled into each other and I agreed to be your fake boyfriend. I will be glad that we went from fake to real dating. I will keep the memories I spent with you, close to my heart.

P.S.- I'm a total creep and I am not letting you down by giving up again. So, no promises.

P.P.S.- You could come with a towel wrapped around you for all I care. (Full pressure)

P.P.P.S.- The two reasons why your relationship with that guy won't work out 1. You're still madly, deeply in love with me. 2. There can't be two pushovers in a couple.

Did he just called her a pushover??

Kinda wanna keep writing but I'll keep things for the rest of our lives. See you

One last thing before your handsome man stops writing, I would like to say- I will love you till the day I die, Nandini. I don't see it any other way.

If love is for fools, I am the biggest fool who fell for you.

To my Nandini,

from your foolish lover, Manik Malhotra.