The Taming

An Empty Nursery

Radix murdering the child of the Fallen and their alpha, had been something the knights had blissfully refused to consider up to that point.

Sebastian had offered to protect the child, to keep it at WaterRose and safely from Radix. But Deragan's response had dashed that meager idea.

"And have me explain to him how I could not protect his mother, and now he must go on without one? As I go on without her?" He'd shaken his head. "No, my brothers, I cannot."

They'd all looked at him sorrowfully.

"And what if said child, were not born immortal as we are, but doomed to die as my Fallen always does? It would be my worst fear, even worse than losing my mate, to outlive my child and then wonder if they might return, and as whom? As whose child, that I would not get to raise?"

A dreadful thought.

"You see, I can barely survive the loss of her... How could I do that?"

It was easy to see Deragan's point.

They'd all acknowledged it.

Now Bast felt a strange pang every time he looked in this room. And took it in. It's utter silence.

And for the first time he yearned for a little one. Someone to share with Elsabet.

It wasn't something he'd ever considered before. In all those centuries before her, he'd never thought to yearn for a family of his own.

It'd be unwise to ever build one. The ugly little voice in his head reminded. Forcing him to recall Mardichi's deep suffering at the loss of little Liam.

It's unlikely Elsabet would ever willingly share such a miracle with me. That caused pain to cut a jagged tear through him. Reminding him of the true complexity of their tenuous relationship.

Perhaps if there was a little one, I'd have something to console me, a piece of her when she goes. It made him wonder if she'd ever consider such a bargain. He dismissed the thought. Knowing how wrong it'd be to even ask.

She wouldn't consider it. And I'd be an even worse cad for requesting it of her.

It occurred to him that it was possible she might try and claw the child from her own womb if he ever did persuade her.

Perhaps that is the depth of her hatred for me.

He sighed. Suspecting that the truth was why he loved her. She's not capable of that level of cruelty.

It'd be more realistic to expect her to amp up her efforts to leave.

With my little one...

Or, somehow even worse. She might only stay for a child's sake.

Which meant he'd never have a chance of meaning something to her. At least as things are now, I can occasionally see glimmers of feeling in her.

No. No child for me. He sighed forlornly and moved to stand but froze when he spotted Elsabet standing silently in the doorway. Leaning against the frame with her arms over her chest, as she often did.

"Els." He greeted her stiffly. Not wanting to incite her earlier animosity, all over again.

"Sebastian." She tilted her head. Returning the greeting.

She was the one that shattered the drawn out pause between them.

"What've you decided?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, and he sensed the gravity of the question.

He knew what she was asking.

"I'm surprised you haven't already gone." The words nearly broke him. Shredding his soul apart at the mere idea.

Or, perhaps, the truth in them. She'll always want to leave me. He gripped the bowed armrests of the chair and his body lifted slightly as though to rise.

"I thought not to make a fool of myself by trying again."

Not staying for me then. He swallowed a lump that felt very much like a dry rock.

"You're never a fool, Elsabet."

"Hmm." She murmured. Peering up at him waitingly.

His heart hammered painfully in his chest, and the words that came out of him were torn.

"Just stay?" He urged. Breathing raggedly.

She blinked, unphased. Making his answer clear.

"Would it mean a thing, if I were to beg it of you?" The words were nearly inaudible to even his ears. So hard for him to say. Especially when he knew the likelihood of them moving her.

Just be with me...That was the thing he was trying so clumsily to say.

But as she often did, she seemed to understand.

"I don't know." She breathed. "I've never been given the freedom to decide if it would."

He dropped the few inches back to the chair. Feeling like he was sinking. Sickness washing over him. If I don't let her go she may never forgive me.

She might even be capable of hating me more. Letting her go is the right thing to do.

"Give me time to think, Elsabet. Please."

I'll let her go, I just want to buy a bit more time to say goodbye. He promised himself.

She eyed him coldly. Her face blanching before she turned on her heel and vanished without a word.

"Dammit. Dammit all to hell!" He swore. Rising from the chair to stalk out of the room. Walking quickly to catch up to her.

I'll tell her yes. She is free. She's waited long enough.

Ignoring his pain, he pursued her. Intently on telling her.

He moved down the hall after her. He froze as a dark vision entered his mind. Forcing itself within the walls of his mind's eye.