𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗢𝗻𝗲

𑁍𝗝𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗪𝗲𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗿~𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𑁍

TW~Death.

Jake's POV

I wake up to the sound of Lainey crying in her crib, her tiny wails echoing through the empty house. It's been a month since Y/N passed away, and every day feels like a battle I'm not sure I can win. But somehow, I manage to drag myself out of bed and stumble into the nursery to pick Lainey up.

As I cradle her in my arms, I can't help but think of how much Y/N would have loved to see her growing up. How she would have whispered sweet nothings to her, sung lullabies, and rocked her to sleep. But now, it's just me and Lainey, trying to navigate this new world without her by our side.

I try my best to be the father she deserves, to give her all the love and support Y/N would have given her if she was still here. But some days, it's just so damn hard. The grief weighs me down like a ton of bricks, crushing my chest and making it hard to breathe.

The Trapboys have been amazing during this time, stepping in to help take care of Lainey when I need a moment to myself. Colby, Sam, Corey, and Aaron have been like family to me, supporting me through the darkest days and helping me pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

I stand by the living room window, overlooking the swimming pool with Lainey in my arms, rocking her back and forth as tears stream down my face, as I kiss the top of her head. The pain of losing Y/N is a constant ache in my chest, a gaping hole that can never be filled. I miss her so much, my love, it's like a piece of me is missing without her here.

I reach for my hoodie hanging on the back of the chair, the one Y/N used to steal from me when she got cold. It still smells like her, like vanilla and lavender, and I bury my face in the fabric, seeking some comfort in her lingering scent.

I slip into the hoodie, feeling a sense of peace wash over me as if she's wrapping me in her arms. I take a deep breath, inhaling her essence, and hold Lainey closer to my chest. She quiets down, her tiny hand curling around my finger, as if she knows I need her just as much as she needs me.

Time Skip

I make my way to Y/N's grave, the headstone still fresh and polished, adorned with flowers and mementos left by friends and family. I kneel down in front of it, Lainey still in my arms as the tears falling freely now, and I speak to her almost as if she can hear me from heaven.

"I miss you so much, love," I whisper, my voice breaking with emotion. "I wish you were here to see Lainey grow up, to watch her take her first steps, hear her first words. I wish you were here to hold her in your arms, to tell her how much you love her."

The wind whispers through the trees, carrying her memory on its wings, and I feel a sense of peace wash over me. I know she's watching over us, guiding us through this dark and lonely journey, until we meet again in the light of eternity.

I stand up and place a kiss onto the headstone, feeling a sense of closure wash over me.

But then I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, a familiar voice in my ear, a warm presence by my side. I look up and see Colby, his eyes filled with compassion, his face etched with sorrow, his heart breaking for me, for you, for Lainey.

"Jake, man" he says, his voice soft and soothing. "You don't have to go through this alone. We are here for you, all of us. We love you and Lainey, we miss her too, we want to help you in any way we can. You are not alone, Jake. You have us, you have Lainey, you have her memory to guide you through this darkness."

I look at Colby, at his genuine concern, his unwavering support, his brotherly love. I nod, wiping away my tears, standing up on shaky legs, holding onto him for support, for strength, for comfort.

"Thanks, Colby," I whisper, my voice hoarse with emotion. "Thank you for being here for me, for us, for Lainey. I don't know what I would do without you, without the guys, without her memory to sustain me. I love you, man. I love all of you, for being my family, my friends, my brothers in this time of need."

Colby hugs me tightly, holding me close, offering me the solace and support that I so desperately need. We stand there, at Y/N's grave, in silence and solidarity, mourning her loss, honoring her memory, celebrating her life, her love, her legacy.

Lainey starts wriggling around in my arms, as Colby takes her from me, to give my arms a rest for a bit. He cuddles her to his chest, placing a kiss to her forehead. Lainey eventually calms down a bit, as Colby puts her pacifer back into her mouth, as she starts falling asleep, with her head on his shoulder.

"We should head back so Lainey can nap before dinner." I suggest, as Colby agrees, handing a very tired Lainey back to me.

We turn to leave, knowing that she'll always be with me, in my heart and in my soul, guiding me through each day and giving me the strength to carry on.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her hoodie wrapped around me again, and I smile through my tears. I know that with Y/N by my side, even in spirit, I'll be the best father to Lainey I can be, in honor of the love we shared and the family we created together.

When we get back inside, I take Lainey upstairs, and place her in her crib, giving her the stuffed animal rabbit, that Y/N bought her on the day of the gender reveal.

I headed downstairs with the baby monitor in my hand, as I walked outside, sitting on a nearby pool chair.

I remember how Y/N hated the smell of smoke, how she would wrinkle her nose and pout whenever I lit a cigarette. She would scold me like I was a child, telling me to quit smoking for the sake of our health, our future, our happiness. I would promise to quit, to never smoke again, only to break that promise every few days, a prisoner to my addiction, my weakness, my self-destructive tendencies.

But now, now that she's gone, I find myself smoking more than ever, seeking solace in the toxic embrace of nicotine, trying to drown out the pain, the guilt, the sorrow that threatens to consume me. I know that she would disapprove, that she would shake herr head and sigh, that she would be disappointed in me for giving in to temptation, for betraying her memory, her love, her trust, but I just found it as a useful way to cope with the constant grief and guilt of the situation.

I'll try to quit again though for the health of Lainey and myself. I want to be sure that I'll be around for a long time, in order to give Lainey a good upbringing and a good chance in life.

I put out the cigarette, and made my way back inside, where the guys were at the table, pizzas covering the majority of it.

"Here Jake, your favourite, do you want me to get Lainey?" Sam said, handing me a pizza, as I nodded. Sam got up and headed upstairs to get Lainey, coming back a few minutes later with a tired and fussy looking Lainey.

"Aw, there she is, I think she's hungry!" Corey said, as Colby and Aaron got up to go to the kitchen, coming back with some baby food. I dug into my pizza, after I was told by Colby to just relax for a but, as they took care of Lainey.

Lainey sat on Sam's lap, him supporting her neck, and back as Colby fed her, using the old 'here comes the airplane' trick, but I don't think she had a clue as to what was happening, she just wanted food.

We finish the day chilling on the couches in the living room, with Lainey asleep on my chest, as I awe at Lainey's baby features, she looks just like her mama. I start drifting off on the couch, as I know that me and Lainey will be okay.

I love you, my beautiful girl. Always and forever.