Acceptance: Hogwarts Legacy Continued

Chapter 38: Sebastian- awkward comparison

Sebastian didn't even make it to the large barrel before he ran right into Diana. They both fell back a bit, neither expecting to find the other in front of them. He recovered quickly though;

"Ah Diana, I was looking for you! I made the team!"

Her hesitant face from before was washed away by a glowing smile for him.

"That's great news! I knew you would make it, you were brilliant at tryouts."

"Thank you! I knew you would be happy for me, Ominis tried to tell me that you wouldn't want to see me- that you were avoiding me."

At this he watched her face drop a bit and he felt confused. He hadn't believed what Ominis had said back in the common room, but now that she wasn't denying it he felt hurt.

"You are avoiding me! Diana, you cannot still be upset about me kissing Imelda! I told you it wasn't a big deal!" He watched her face grow red and she looked around to see if anyone was overhearing them.

Sebastian didn't care though, he would have it out right here with her if need be. She couldn't hold this thing that had nothing to with her against him. She seemed to care about the location though because she turned and started heading towards an empty classroom nearby. He immediately followed after her. When the door had closed after them Sebastian went at her again.

"Look, I promise not to do it again if that's what the problem is. I didn't even instigate it, she asked me, I just went along with it-" she held up a hand for him to stop.

"Let me be clear, I do not care who you choose to spend your time with. Whether it be Imedla or anyone else. I- I just was thrown off when I saw you guys. It could have been anyone and I probably would have reacted the same, it just so happened to be you two."

"But why? What's the big deal?" He tried to keep his voice from rising. He was feeling a sort of anxiety growing deep inside of him that felt out of control. He also felt the all encompassing darkness that was starting to be present more and more. He watched her and she stared at the ground. He was going to question her again but she spoke in a whisper.

"Look I- I've never seen anyone kiss before. I didn't really grow up in a place where such... affection was present, I mean it would have been weird if it was. But really I've never seen any um affection of any sort be given. I don't- I just- I don't know what to think and I got embarrassed."

Her words hung in the air, and Sebastian felt a deep sense of sorrow for his friend. He thought he understood her reaction better now, or at least it didn't seem as out of place anymore. He also thought maybe he understood why she would feel uncomfortable around him since seeing him with the other girl. He guessed it was probably similar to how he felt when he had.... walked in on his parents once as a child. He refused to look them in the eye for a week after that.

There was something else that filled his sadness for her though, the implication that came with never seeing affection implied you never received any either. It made him think of when he had first tried to hug Ominis in their first year and the boy and literally throw him to the ground in response. Much later he had confided that it was the first time someone had hugged him in years, and his body just had a knee jerk reaction to the embrace. He said it felt triggering, knowing touch was more a form of punishment in his home rather than to show kindness. Thinking about his friends, Sebastian realized that they were really quite similar in that regard.

He looked down at her, she seemed a lot smaller now. Sure he had grown since when they had first met, but it was more the vulnerability of the moment that made her seem so fragile. He felt a sudden burning need to keep her safe; to protect her. He knew that she was generally more capable of protecting herself physically than he would ever be, but that didn't stop his feelings.

He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened inside his embrace. He wanted her to feel safe, but he also felt such a huge relief that she wasn't really holding anything against him. He waited for her to relax, but she felt tense the entire encounter. He squeezed her tighter, but she just pushed against him. He let go, looking at the discomfort very evident on her face, and he laughed. He laughed harder than was necessary for the moment, but he couldn't stop himself. He felt a lot of pent up emotions make their way out through his laugh.

Diana waited for his fit to be over before she tentatively asked if they were good now. Sebastian nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. She gave him a half hearted smile, and turned to leave.