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✦ { Kamila } Wrong Turn Right

Client: Zyphra54

Reviewer: Kamila_DeRico

Title + Cover: 18/20

The design for the cover is very eye-catching and professional. It reflects most of the book's tone and genre accurately. The fonts are readable and aesthetically balanced, and the cover stands out among others.

However, although the cover reflects the romantic tones of the book, it doesn't, in fact, show that the book has thrilling and mysterious themes, making it seem a bit misleading.

The title effectively captures the essence of the story. It is also quite memorable and intriguing to readers.

Blurb: 10/10

I love how the first line immediately hooks the readers in and sets up the core essence of the book.

It also sets up the main character and conflict clearly, conveying that tension that draws readers' interest.

It is well-written, and without any errors.

Plot: 6/10

The book follows Vera Moretti, a sixteen-year-old student about to be initiated into her family's life of crime through a simple task—stealing a Mustang. However, when a faithful encounter with her classmate Benjamin Reynolds occurs, she's forced to decide whether to keep him alive or realize that it could be the biggest mistake of her life.

The plot is clear and easy to follow with a defined beginning and middle. There are no plot holes or inconsistencies. The story also raises stakes steadily as it progresses.

However, there are a few things that fall short in this section.
The first I want to discuss is the logicality of events that occur within the plot. Some scenes feel forced and unnatural for convenience.

A particular example is the scene where five of Vera's brothers show up in her school, in a quite melodramatic fashion, all with a luxury car of their own, simply because they got tipped off about Vera being with a boy. This not only goes against some of the set personality of the characters but also undermines believability and breaks immersion.

All of this, especially considering the fact that they're actually a part of the Mafia and are incredibly busy men.

Furthermore, some scenes contribute little to nothing to the overall story, particularly the classroom scenes. Not all are meaningless; some actually do a good deal in character development. However, some only slow the pacing down.

Suggestion

1 If the book remains the same, no change, when a particular scene is removed, then that scene serves no true purpose within the plot. It is best to remove it.
2 It is important to make your scene as believable as possible. If a scene feels melodramatic or tonally off, consider refining it.

Writing Style: 6/10

Your voice is quite distinctive and engaging, with writing that is clear and easy to understand. The tone used also effectively matches the story's mood and genre.

The writing is emotional and immersive, with vivid and varied descriptions that make visualising scenes quite easy.

Nevertheless, there are areas that may fall flat in this section. One of these being dialogue.

Dialogue, at times, feels unnatural to certain characters. Why? Because all the characters, both the sides and the main, seem to have very similar speech patterns. They use similar phrases, talk in similar cadence and beats, and overall would not be distinguishable from one another if pulled out of context.