Our Love Always Finds A Way

"Coco,I can't give my baby what she wants this time"

Sally was laying on the floor with the girls in their room. Mazie and Hadley were playing with their hooks as Sally stared at them
"You two look so much like Daddy"she told them while rubbing Mazie's head. Sally looked at Hadley "Especially you Bean, you have Daddy's eyes"she said softly as tears fell
There was a light knock, Sally looked over and saw Nikki in the doorway
"Hey honey, I just wanted to tell you everyone is gone"she said
Sally looked back at the girls "I caused a scene, I made it about me, when it's about Adam"she said
"Oh no, Sally you didn't"
Sally glared at her "Why are you even here. I mean I was yelling at your daughter, of course I'm the evil person"
Nikki sigh and came over to her "What she did today wasn't okay, and it was wrong of us all for letting her. I'm sorry I didn't stop her. You didn't need that today"she said
"She's right though"Sally sat up "Adam died because of me"
Nikki sat down next to her "Sally, this wasn't your fault. And the people who love you will keep reminding you until you believe it"she smiled at her "What you said today about Adam was true, he protected his family"
"He would have been better off if he never met me"Sally cried
"No, he wouldn't Sally"Nikki looked at the girls "You wouldn't have them if you two never met"
"I don't know how I'm going to do this, without him"she said looking down playing with one of the toys
"One day at a time,Mazie and Haddie will help you through this"
Sally looked at Nikki "Nikki, Adam's really gone"she broke down
Nikki pulled her into her and let her cry
                  *************
Later that night Sally was sitting on the couch in the dark. When Coco came downstairs
"Sally"she said looking at her
This pulled her out of her trance "Ya"she looked at her confused
"I just check on the girls, they are asleep" she said
Sally nodded
"You know it's been a long couple of days, you should go to bed too" she told her
Sally went  back to looking out the window "I can't" she said in a low tone
"Why not" Coco asked
"It's that room, being in there it's to hard. The bed is empty. I don't know if I'll ever be able to back in there again"Sally said as she was starting to hyperventilate
Coco came over to her quickly and took her hands "Sally it's okay, you are okay. Breath with me ... in ... and out"she demonstrated
Sally wasn't calming down "My kids..they have no.. Faith..er. I lo..st my bes..t friend" she was struggling
"I know" Coco said rubbing her face "I'm so sorry.. I wish I could bring him back for you, Sal"
Sally started freaking out "Don't call me that, that's only for Adam" she said
Coco nodded "I understand.. it's okay... Shh"she said wiping her tears
Sally laid into her sister's arms  finally calming down
"You know have an idea"she said "Why don't you sleep in my room tonight, we can make it a sister sleepover, we haven't had one of those in long time"
Sally nodded in a agreement
                   ***************
The sister were laying in bed, Sally had her head on Coco staring at the ceiling
"I wish Adam never met mom, if he hadn't she wouldn't have gone out of her way to punish me.. and destroy everything, Adam would be here"
Coco just let her talk
"She's only good at hurting me, she punished me. Look at me now mom are you happy"she yelled
It was quiet for a few minutes, Coco thought she fell asleep, until Sally started again
"You know I was asleep when he left to go rescue Haddie. We didn't say goodbye or I love you... oh how I wished he had woken me up so I could have kissed him"
Coco was stroking her hair "He loved you and he knew loved him. Even when you two didn't say it. He is always going be with you Sally,in Mazie and Hadley, you'll see little reminders of through them" she told her
"He wanted more kids with me"she said softly
"I'm sorry that never happened for you"
"Me too" she said curling up into her sister and finally falling asleep
                   **************
It was early in the morning, Sally was up couldn't sleep. She stood at the sliding glass doors holding her coffee looking out into the backyard
"I promised you a tree house for the kids"Adam said
Sally felt Adam lean his chin on her shoulder "You promised me a lot things, a treehouse is minor compared to what I want, you promised me  a lifetime with you" she cried "We barely got a week"she said in a anger tone
"Sal, we are getting that lifetime, I'm right here with you"he kissed her cheek "I'm still here" he whispered
Sally heard crying, she ran to her girls
                  **************
   Sally entered the girls room and saw Mazie screaming. Sally picked her up and brought her over to the rocking chair
"I know, I know Mazie Moo, I miss Daddy too"she held her close to her and rocked her as she cried
Coco came to the door "How did you know that's what she was crying for"Coco asked
"Because I'm her mother"she said bringing Mazie to look at her "And she only cries like that  when she wants Adam"she smiled at her and kissed her forehead "Coco,I can't give my baby what she wants this time"
Coco hugged them from the side
                   ************
Later on in the day they were in the living room. Mazie and Hadley were on their play mat. Sally was sitting on the couch watching at them while her mind was a million miles away. She didn't hear the doorbell
"I'll get it"Coco said coming from the kitchen
A few seconds later Coco returned with Chelsea following her
"Sally, Chelsea and Connor are here" she informed her sister
Sally looked over "Oh hey, I didn't hear the doorbell"she said
Both Coco and Chelsea looked at one another
"What are you doing here"she asked moving her hair out of her face
"I didn't want to bother you, but Connor left something here he needed to have"she gestured to the stairs "He is just upstairs getting it" she told her
Sally nodded "Is he okay"she started crying "I'm sorry about yesterday, it wasn't one of my finest moments"
"He has no idea of what happened" she told her
"Okay, because I don't ever want him to see me like that"
"It's all good Sally, you are allowed to feel how you feel"Chelsea told her
Sally looked down "Adam used to say that"she said softly
Chelsea smiled
Connor came into the room "Okay Mom I'm ready to go"he said not looking at Sally
"Con, are you going to say hello to Sally" Chelsea asked him
He looked up quickly "Hi" then went back to not looking at here
"Connor" Sally said getting up and going over to him "You know when everything settles down I'd love for you to come over and spend time with us"she gave him a small smile "I know Mazie and Hadley would like it, they love seeing their big brother"she went to hug him
Connor pulled away "Ya, I think with Dad gone I don't have need  to come over anymore, sorry" he said walking out
Sally's heart broke all over again she was in shock
"Sally, I'm so sorry, I'm going to talk to him.He had no right to be so rude to you"Chelsea told her
Sally held up her hands "No it's fine"she looked over at the door "He is allowed to feel how he feels" she looked back at her "Right" she said with tears in her eyes, then ran upstairs
                  ****************
Sally ran into the bathroom and slid down the door crying
"Adam"she cried out
Coco knocked on the door "Sally it's me, open the door"she called out
"Leave me alone"she cried out in agony
"I'm sorry, that's not going to happen, I can't leave you like this"she told her
"My husband is gone, my stepson hates me now"she told her
"He doesn't hate you Sally" Coco leaned against the door "He is hurting, just like you"she told her
"Please Coco, can you just leave me alone and go watch the girls" Sally said
"Fine, but if I don't hear you in an hour I'm breaking down this door" she said
"Okay"Sally said curling up on the floor
***************
"Open your eyes Sal"
Sally shook her head "No, the pain hurts to much" she cried
Sally felt someone stroking her hair "Once you open your eyes, the pain will disappear"he said
Sally opened her eyes and saw Adam looking back at her
"There's my girl"he smiled at her
Sally fell into his arms "I thought losing you was painfu, but Connor saying he doesn't want to come over anymore hurt"
Adam was running his fingers through her hair as her head was on his lap "We both know he didn't mean it"
"Doesn't make it hurt any less , it was like losing you all over again"she said she closed her eyes "I want you back"she whispered
"Sally I never left"he said softly
"I they keep saying you'll always be with me, I'm not there yet"
"That's not what I meant"he kissed her head
"I don't understand"she looked up at her
"I wish I could explain it, Sally there's a reason we see each other" he cupped her face "You'll figure this out"
Sally closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. When she opened her eyes, he was gone again
Sally looked around "What is happening"she questioned