Our Love Always Finds A Way

"No mama is not mad at you.. she's mad at herself"

   It was the day before the girls leave for summer camp. Adam took them over to spend a little time to spend with Victor and Nikki and to also to give Sally time to rest
    Mazie and Haddie couldn't stop talking about how excited they were to go to camp
"I can't wait to hear all about it"Nikki said smiling
"I'm going to miss Sky though"Haddie said
"She'll miss you, but we will take good care of her while you are gone"Victor told her
"Can I go say goodbye daddy"Haddie asked looking over at him
Adam smiled "Sure you can"he told her
Nikki stood up "I'll take you down to the stables"she said. She looked over at Eden and Mazie "Do you girls want to come too"
They smiled then followed them
  Adam watched them leave
"So how is my new grandson"Victor asked
"He is good..."Adam smiled "Getting big every day"he looked at him "Thank you for the gift you sent over"
Victor took a sip of his drink "So Sally didn't want to come by with him"he sounded annoyed
"No.. nothing like that dad"Adam shook his head "We wanted to give the girls time with you"he said even if it was his decision "We will have you guys over while the girls away"he told him
                  ************
    Sally was folding laundry on the bed. She glanced over at Wes who was laying in his bassinet awake. Sally watched him and moved over on the edge of the bed. She started to gently stroking his cheek
"Mommy is so sorry"she whispered "You deserve the best ... and I can't seem to give you that"she cried "If I can't seem to do the one thing that bonds us ...Wes how do I connect with and love you the way I always wanted to "she told him as he drifted off to sleep
  Sally got up and began to put the clothes away, when she began to feel a familiar feeling. She looked back at Wes and smiled 
                  **************
    Adam and the girls were saying goodbye. Nikki gave them all big hugs
"You girls have the best time. Oh I love you" she kissed them
"Bye Nana"they said
Nikki looked at Adam "And you give Sally and Wes my love, call if you need anything"she told him
"Will do"he looked back at the girls "You ready"
"Can we stop at Crimson Lights for brownies and a cinnamon roll for mama"Eden asked
Adam smiled "I think we can"he said "Take care" he said as they left
             *************
   They all entered the coffee house, the girls skipped in
"Hi Sharon" they all said
"Well hello girls this is a nice surprise. What brings you by"she asked
"We are here for brownies"Haddie said
"That's only if Sharon has some"Adam informed her
"I do have some and I believe they each have your names on them" she smiled
Eden climbed up on the stool "We also need a cinnamon roll for mama"she told her
"Eden Rain manners"Adam gave her a look
"Please" she said looking embarrassed for forgetting
"Coming up"she told her "So what is new with you all"she asked getting their order "Are you enjoying your new sibling"
"Yes.. but he cries a lot"Haddie said
"He is a baby Hadley he is supposed to cry"Mazie shot at her
"Mazie be nice"Adam told her
"Sharon we leave for camp tomorrow"Eden said
"Oh how exciting, my kids always loved going to summer camp" she told her
"Sharon"Eden said softly
"Yes Eden"she smiled
"Did they miss you.. because I'm gonna miss mama"she looked sad
Sharon looked at Adam before leaning across the counter close to her "Yes they did ... but they had so much fun missing me wasn't on their minds much. I'm sure your mama and daddy will be missing you all right back" she said
"We sure will Bug" he kissed her head
"Now, Adam would you like anything else" she asked
"No, just those treats are fine"he told her "Got to keep all my girls happy"
                    *************
    They arrived home a few minutes later. The girls ran in, Mazie and Haddie ran to the kitchen all excited to eat their brownies
"Where's mama" Eden asked looking around
"Probably upstairs with Wes. Sally we are home" he called out to her
"I'll go get her daddy" Eden ran up "She's going to be so excited for her treat"
Adam smiled at his little girl as he went to join the other two
                    *************
   Eden ran so fast in the hallway finding her mama, she didn't see Sally coming out of the room.They collided with each other causing Sally to drop the container of breast milk. This caused Sally to snap
"Damn it Eden" she yelled
"I'm s...sorry ma.ma"Eden said as she was scared
"GO"Sally shouted. She bent down to clean up and save some of it "Look what you did"she groaned "God, I can't wait for you to leave"she said under her breath
Eden began to cry and back away from her. She raced down the stairs
Adam met her at the bottom
"Hey, hey hey, what's wrong Eden" he asked bending down in front of her
"Mama doesn't..lo..ve me" she cried into him "I didn't mean to make her so mad" she said
Adam was comforting her "I know mama and I'm sure .. she loves you. What happened" he asked
"She said she couldn't wait for me go"she looked at him as tears fell
This broke Adam's heart. He picked her up and hugged her "Daddy is going to go see what happened okay" he kissed her head "Why don't you go eat your brownie with your sisters" he gave her a smile
"Can I go eat it outside" she asked
"Sure, but stay on the deck" he gave her another kiss before setting her down and she ran out
                 *******************
   Adam went upstairs and found her in their room.Seeing that it didn't phase her that she upset their daughter made him so much angry.. he slammed the door scaring her
"Adam Wes is sleeping .."she turned around "What the hell"
"Funny that's my question to you Sally"he stepped closer "Why did our daughter come down crying telling me you hate her and you can't wait for her to leave"
Sally looked confused "I never said I hated her.. why would she think that"
"You tell me,she is in tears and confused " he pointed to the door "And to know her mother caused them makes me very upset. What happened"
Sally looked over at the breast milk and broke down in tears
This sudden emotion confused Adam,he went over to her
"Sally" he said softly
"Not only am I failing our son...I'm hurting our daughter"she cried into her hands
Adam took her hands into his and brought her over to the bed and sat them down
"Okay .. we'll come back to the Eden situation in a minute"he started stroking her cheek "First I need to know why you think you're failing Wes"he asked softly
Sally looked away from him before speaking, she looked down
"I didn't want to tell you.. I thought I could fix it with out you finding out"she said
"Fix what Sal" he asked confused
"I have been struggling to breast feed Wes"she finally looked up at him
"Oh Sally" he said "So what have you been doing to feed him"
Sally took his hand and brought him into the nursery
"I have been feeding him in here" she opened the closet revealing the formula and bottle warmer. She looked at him as tears began to fall again "I was afraid you'd be disappointed"
"Come here" he pulled her into him and held her "First of all you Sally, you could never disappoint me" he lean his forehead against hers "You see this ring"he held up his left hand "I'm your partner in everything" he said wiping her tears away "Lean on me please don't hide"
"I don't understand Adam, how could I breast feed the girls with no problem but now I can't with Wes"
"I wish I had the answers"he kissed her lips "But you aren't failing him.. do you hear me"he smiled
Sally nodded and leaned her body into him
Adam rubbed her back "So back to Eden" he said pulling her away and took her hands into his"What happened"he asked
"I finally was able to produce some milk and I was heading downstairs to put it in the fridge for later"she paused "She ran into me so when we collided... it spilled all over" Sally looked away "It wasn't much but seeing it all on the floor .. I just lost it"
"So .. the milk was what upset you not Eden"he asked.
Sally covered her face "I snapped at her.. " she began to cry harder "Oh God, we never yell at children"she said coming to the realization "What is happening to me"
"What exactly did you say to her" he asked
"That I couldn't wait for her to leave"Sally looked so horrified "Oh God Adam I'm .. Helen" she started to hyperventilate
"No .. no .. no, you are nothing like her okay" he said trying to get her eye contact back
"Yes I am ... I yelled at her and said I couldn't wait for her to not be here .. that's how it started...I need to go see her and apologize to her" she began to leave
Adam grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him
"No, first you need to calm down. You don't want her to see you like this. She'll blame herself for upsetting you"he said hugged her
"She must hate me" Sally clung to him
"She's hurt" he ran his fingers through her hair "But she thinks you hate her"he kissed her head "It's gonna be okay. Take a deep breath"
                      ************
    Adam and Sally made their way to the kitchen hand and hand. Adam was holding Wes. Mazie and Haddie smiled
"Hi Mommy"Mazie smiled
"We got brownies"Haddie said
"I see that" she smiled kissing their heads
"We got you a cinnamon roll" Mazie pointed to the bag "Well Eden did"she looked around "Where is she"she asked
Sally looked out the window and saw her sitting on the deck
"I'll be back.."she whispered to Adam, then grabbed the bag heading outside
                ****************
   Sally slowly approached her. Watching her nibble on her brownie
"Can mama join you"she asked softly
Eden looked up at her with tears in her eyes "Are you mad at me"
Sally sighed "Oh Bug"she sat down next to her "No mama is not mad  at you.. she's mad at herself... for yelling at you"
"You never yell"she said not looking at her
"I know and I promise to never yell again. Because daddy's and mommy's don't yell at their kids"
"So why did you" she asked
Sally looked out at the lake, listening to the wind "You know how Mazie and Haddie get on each other's nerves some times"
"I get on your nerves" Eden looked hurt
"Oh no" Sally shook her head "Bad example. What mama meant is we all have off days. Some things .. little things upset us when we don't mean for them to. Mama was having off day and when the milk spilled it made her upset and yell" she began to move Eden's hair out of her face "At you, I didn't mean to Bug I'm so sorry" she said
Eden hugged her "Uncle Nick always said "don't cry over spilled milk" is that what he meant"she asked
This caused Sally to laugh "Something like that" she pulled away "Eden Rain, you need to know this okay"she took her hands "You are my sweet little girl and I would be so lost with out"she pulled her onto her lap "Who loves you" Sally asked softly
"Mama loves me" Eden responded leaning  her head on her
"That's right Bug" she kissed her cheek
"Do you want to eat our treats with you sisters" Sally asked grabbing the cinnamon roll
"Can we stay here"Eden asked
"Sure" Sally smiled "These look delicious"
They both fed each other a piece of their treats giggling
Adam was looking out the window with Wes in his arms still. He smiled watching his girls smiling and goofing off

*Let me know what you think & what you think might happen next *