Our Love Always Finds A Way

"Why won't you lean on Adam with this"

   Sally was bringing Wes with her to therapy today.She was walking to the café  to meet with Cindy
"I hope you aren't too bored being with mommy, you probably have more fun with Wyatt" she told him as she was fixing his blanket as he was dozing off
She ordered her coffee and was waiting for it while on her phone, when she heard someone's coffee order
"Coffee for Helen" the barista called out
Sally's heart began to race and she looked around frantically to find the person and afraid for who she thought it was.It turned out it wasn't her mother but she was still on edge
"It's okay Wes, we are okay" she said looking at him
Sally was in her own world when Cindy came up to her she jumped
"You okay, didn't mean to scare you" she told her
"Ya"Sally said putting on a smile
Cindy knew she wasn't fine but directed her attention to Wes "Oh this must be the famous Wes"she smiled
"Yes, he is why I'm doing this" she told her
"Sally, what's going on and don't say you are fine. Clearly that's not the case"she said
"I was reminded of someone from past while I was waiting for you"she looked around even though she knew it was impossible "I can't shake this feeling"she said
Cindy grabbed their coffees "Let's go outside"she guided them out to the patio
**************
They sat down Cindy watched Sally check on Wes. Then she watched her fidget with her cup
"Can you tell me what happened"she asked softly
"I.. I was waiting for you, when I heard a customer's name.."Sally paused "It wasn't just any name... it was the of my mother"
"Your mother" Cindy asked
"She wasn't really a mother to me. I was raise by my grandma.. me and my sister were"she told her
"That must have been hard to deal with"she said
Sally nodded "It was especially when she came back into my life.. but that was awful. I protected my girls from her.. I was a mother she's wasn't" she was talking all nervous
"So what's got you so upset.. and hearing her name then"
"I look at this baby and what I'm going through now and I wonder what if... what if she went through this"she said
"Postpartum you mean"Cindy asked softly
"Yes, I mean I don't really know her just want I remember her doing.What if she had me and had it and thought having another child would fix for her and it didn't ... and that's when she chose to not be a mother"
"It's could be possible Sally, so you think you could ask. It might help you."Cindy asked
Sally shook her head "She's dead"
"Oh, I'm sorry" she said
"Don't be.. Helen did some awful things to my family" Sally sat back "So maybe she didn't have"
"Sally,you haven't experienced this before Wes right"Cindy asked
"Nothing like this .. when my twins were born I hated being away from them and felt like lost part me but I had a bond with them. I don't have it with him"she looked at him "I hold him I feel like I'm holding someone else's baby"she took his little hand "Spending this time with him, I get this hope that .. finally I see and feel what my husband does. Then I have these days where there's this  missing piece that connects us"
Cindy leaned forward "Sally, remember what I keep saying to you. You are working so hard to find the answers is good.. because deep down you want this"she glanced at Wes "You want that bond with him"she smiled
"Can I ask you something"Sally said
"Of course"she said
"You got into this field because of personal reasons... something happened didn't it"Sally asked
Cindy looked down
"Oh I'm sorry it's probably none of my business"Sally took at sip
"No, it's only fair right" she sighed,she continued "Yes, something happened to me.. that made what help other mothers"
"How bad"she asked
"It was bad.. I neglected my baby, I was in this bubble where I felt like everything I did wasn't enough for them or my husband. So I basically stopped"
"What made you realize something was wrong and you needed help"Sally asked
"The day my husband asked for a divorce"
"Oh wow what made him decide that...I'm sorry" Sally looked away
"No it's okay, he came home one night to find me sitting in the dark as our baby screamed. I was so zoned out I didn't care anymore"
"Oh my God" Sally gasped
"So when he said if I didn't get help he'd take our baby and leave. So it knocked me out of this fog and I fought to be myself again."she saw the fear in Sally's eyes "Sally, every woman experience is different mine was severe yours is a small part of it and you knew from the start something wasn't right"
"Did he divorce you"Sally asked
Cindy shook her head "No, and I thank him every day. Our daughter will be ten next month"
                       ****************
   Later on Sally returned home and was sitting with Wes on the porch, feeling a little better
"That was a lot today"she said softly she looked down at Wes "I'm glad you were with me"she smiled
"Hi Sally"she heard Wyatt
"What are doing here"she said adjusting Wes
"I haven't seen you in a couple days and since Wes went with you. I figured I'd come by and see how you were" he said
"Well that was nice of you"she said
"So how are things going"he asked sitting down
"It was a lot today" she looked out at the waves "In a good way though but i just want my old self back Wyatt" she cried "I'm exhausted of this ... I want to go back to Adam"she added
Wyatt took her hand "Sally no one is stopping of you doing that" he told her "You can go home at anytime and Adam will welcome back with open arms"
"I'm the one who is stopping me, because I can't"she looked down at Wes "I can't bring myself to tell my son's father.."she looked at him "That I may not be able to close to him"
Wyatt scooted closer "Sally that's not true... it's all in your head. You are holding him now. If you didn't feel close to him you wouldn't be able to do that" he smiled
"I been working with Cindy and I don't know what else I can do"
"How about this.. go out" he suggested
"Wyatt I might not feel connected to my son but I know better then to leave him alone"she shook her head
Wyatt chuckled "I meant you go out and I'll watch Wes for you"he told her
"I can't ask you do that you already did so much for me"she said getting up and bringing Wes inside
"I'm offering Sally.."he followed her "All mothers deserve a break and you have been doing it all alone"he said
Sally sighed "Because I left Wyatt I shouldn't get a break."she looked at Wyatt
"Look at this way it could be exactly what you need"he said
"How so"she asked
"Answer me this Sally, besides therapy have you ever been away from Wes"
Sally thought for a second "No I don't think I have" she told him
"There you go, maybe being away will clear your mind"he smiled
"Are you sure about this" she asked
He nodded
"Fine, let me change first, I can't go out with spit up" she giggled
                       *************
Sally was sitting at the table alone with her glass of wine, she was looking at Adam's contact debating on calling him. Someone came up to her
"Sally?"she heard a familiar voice
Sally looked up and was shocked and then annoyed "What are you doing here,did he send you" she said all pissed
"Did who send me Sally"they asked
"Your brother, Abby"she took sip of her wine
               *******************
  Wyatt brought his laptop over to Wes who was on the floor doing tummy time
"Alright champ, are you ready to see daddy again" he asked pressing the call
When Adam popped up on the screen Wes's eyes lite up
"Hi Wes"Adam got all excited "Look at my boy with mommy's eye" he smiled. He looked at Wes "And it looks like you are doing tummy time" he observed
"He's trying"Wyatt chuckled "He doesn't seem to be a big fan of it, but seeing you right now seems to be working"he smiled "I'm sorry I don't how much time we have tonight. I don't know how long she'll be" he sighed
"It's all good, I'll take any time I get, until I'm with him and Sally"he told Wyatt all while staring at Wes
"She doing okay"Wyatt said "I know you wanted to ask"
Adam nodded "I don't want over step her boundaries"
"You aren't if she's doesn't know" he chuckled
"So does how she seem"he asked
Wyatt sighed
"That bad" Adam said
"I wouldn't call it bad, she seemed to have a off day.. I don't know if it was bad session.It was weird because she said it was good but how she was talking wasn't matching up.Today she took Wes with her.."he told him
"That seems like a big step"Adam sounded hopeful
"I don't think it was the right one"Wyatt looked at Wes
                 ***************
  Sally didn't go into details telling Abby what was happening but she told her enough. Abby felt awful
"Oh Sally"she said
"Don't"Sally shook her hand
"Don't what Sally" she asked
"Pity me, I hate that. Don't say you wished you'd known either"she was freaking out "Everyone who finds out they feel sorry for the poor mother who can't love her child that she gave birth to"she was crying
Abby leaned closer to her "Sally,I'm family ... I'm not everyone okay. We care for one another."
"Expect for Victor Newman" she groaned as she was drinking "He's probably painting me as this awful mother and trying to convince Adam I'm not good enough as we speak" she glared
Abby sigh "Maybe" she chuckled a little "I hate seeing you like this and I know someone else who it's probably killing"she paused "Why won't you lean on Adam with this"she asked "He loves you"
"I know he does Abby, he shouldn't have to witness his wife struggle with what is probably my worst battle so far"
Abby looked down "So how are things going.. good"she asked changing the subject a little
Sally looked at here "Truth" she said
"Please"she replied "Talk to me"
"I'm almost at the point where I'm bringing Wes back.."
Abby was relieved "That's great, Adam will be over the moo..."
"And ask for divorce"Sally said before Abby could finish
"Sally no, this isn't a reason to end what you have with my brother"
"If I can't be the mother to his children I shouldn't be his wife anymore" she struggled to get out
Abby reached over and took her hand "Sally, I may not understand what you're going though but I know you love Adam more anything and you have your girls to think about too, Wes isn't your only child" she said softly
"I have been thinking of them, every day" she hit the table aggressively "Before I realized how bad I was getting I kind lost it on Eden and a mother doesn't do that Abby"
"We all have bad days"Abby told her
"Ya or no matter how hard I try to deny it .. I might be like my mother after all"
                    *************
  Adam was watching Wes wiggle around. He would clap and cheer a every little thing
"Oh biscuit, I miss you so much and I can't wait to kiss those cheeks. I can't wait to lay with you and read to you. Maybe we can't do that next video call" he suggested
"You know I did try and talk to her about going home .. but"Wyatt said
"She's stubborn" Adam finished "One of the things I love about her"he looked at Wyatt "Do you know why she won't" he asked
Wyatt shook his head not wanting to tell him about today "She always changes the subject" he lied
Sally opened the door and heard Adam's voice
"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE"she shouted
Wyatt's head shot up "Sally, I can explain" he told her
Sally held up her hand and walked over to the laptop
"Was this your idea Adam, did you put him up to this" she asked getting angry
"No...Sal"Adam said
Wyatt stood up "Sally, this was all me okay. I have been in contact with Adam"
"I trusted you" she was crying "Oh my god I trusted you with my son"she pushed him
"Sally baby calm down. He didn't do anything wrong"Adam interject
Sally glared back at the laptop. She bent down to Wes
"Wes, say goodbye to daddy" she closed the laptop
Sally picked up Wes and looked back at Wyatt
"I'm taking him up to bed, when I come down I want you GONE" she said running up

*LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT*