North Black
May and I have become closer friends and she sits with me at lunch now so I'm not alone.
The hospital hasn't called yet which means I haven't been graded. I never stopped smiling on that trip, I wore short sleeves shirts to prove that I didn't cut. I looked normal. I have no reason to be put in a mental facility.
I picked my phone and went into my contacts about to call Shawn when I realized that we had broken up. I keep forgetting that all of this has been happening.
Everytime I start thinking negatively behind closed doors I get up and walk around. I can't risk anything.
my mind is a war field.
I grabbed a one of Shawn's old hoodies that smelt like him. A tear dropped from my eye but I stopped myself from any more.
I zipped up the hoodie and flew the top over my head, stuffing my hands as deep as possible into the pockets and I walked out the door.
(shawn pov)
•••
I got up and looked out my window. I saw North walking by herself, with my hoodie. She's probably just going to burn it because she hates me so much.
I miss her. I miss us. I miss knowing that she's there and she's thinking about me. I miss the way we fit like puzzle pieces. I miss the way her hair smells. I miss her hugs. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss the way she kissed me, all I've been thinking about is the way she kissed me that night when she told me about her parents.
I want to get back together but you know what it's like having all of your friends against the person you care most about.
Oh Shawn you dont need her.
Shawn she was gonna hurt you anways.
She isn't worth it.
She didn't like you the way you liked her, it's better this way.
I held her necklace in my hand and I squeezed it and through it at a wall.
I brushed my hands on my jeans and picked up my guitar
"Oh, there she goes again,
Every morning it's the same
You walk on by my house
I wanna call out your name" I sung to myself strumming my guitar.
"I want to tell you how beautiful you are from where I'm standing
You got me thinking what we could be 'cause"
"I keep craving, craving, you don't know it but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you
This is typical of love
Can't wait anymore, I won't wait, I need to tell you how I feel when I see us together forever"
"In my dreams you're with me
We'll be everything I want us to be
And from there, who knows, maybe this will be the night that we kiss for the first time"
"Or is that just me and my imagination"
"We walk, we laugh, we spend our time walking by the ocean side
Our hands are gently intertwined
A feeling I just can't describe
All this time we spent alone, thinking we could not belong to something so damn beautiful
So damn beautiful"
"I keep craving, craving, you don't know it, but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you
This is typical of love
Can't wait anymore, I won't wait I need to tell you how I feel when I see us together forever"
"In my dreams, you're with me
We'll be everything I want us to be
And from there, who knows, maybe this will be the night that we kiss for the first time
Or is that just me and my imagination"
"Imagination
Imagination
(Whoa, whoa, whoa...)"
"In my dreams, you're with me
We'll be everything I want us to be
And from there, who knows, maybe this will be the night that we kiss for the first time
Or is that just me and my imagination"
"I keep craving, craving, you don't know it, but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you-"
"Hey.." My mom knocked on my door "Sounds good.. want a em snack?" She cleared her voice holding up a plate of cookies.
"Thanks" I took one but then grabbed the whole thing.
I walked over and sat on my bed and she followed.
She turned to face me but I looked down the entire time and played with my finger.
"You miss North?" She asked.
"How could you tell?"
"The break up songs.. the throwing of necklaces.."
"Yeah sorry"
"It's okay...." we stayed silent.
"You really liked this girl huh?" She asked and I nodded.
"Then she'll comeback.. if she doesn't it wasn't worth it" she said and I nodded not moving and she stroked my hair repeating the phrase "it's okay" in my ear.
__________________________
WHY DID THIS HURT SO MUCH TO WRITE?
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someday; s.m.
FanfictionI ran. I ran as fast as I could. I soon found myself in a forest. The sound of light footsteps and crunching leaves caught my eye and I looked back. I saw her. Midnight black hair. Bright blue eyes. She was beautiful. Her body was hidden behind tree...
