illusions

Addiction

I search for you every day,
like someone craving
a cheap drug.

This is addiction
a cruel addiction,
bitter,
relentless.

My heart races,
my chest tightens,
my legs grow weak,
they tingle,
as if my body is screaming
what my mouth can’t say.

Emotions overflow,
break through all walls,
burst into words
I can no longer swallow:

I love you.
Even without being part
of your bright, sunlit days.

I want to ask:
how much of your day is mine?
You know, for me,
it's easier to count
the hours I'm not thinking of you.

Do you await the darkness
with the same ache I do?
Do you tremble, too, in the waiting?
Do you long for it, just a little?

My heart races,
my blood burns,
and a weight grows inside me
raw, physical.

I love you.
Even though I no longer know
where love ends
and destruction begins.

I declare it.

If I can make the night,
at least the night,
yours and mine

then I accept.
I love you with such force
I would face, without fear,
any punishment the gods may send.