Elysian's Monogatari

Chapter 103: Failure and Regret

"Why did things end up like that? By managing a unit with the two of us, and with the support of Celestial, we were about to create an ideal environment where everyone is treated equally and fairly. But just when we were starting to walk down the path that could have led us all to a brilliant future that road got cut off abruptly." Tatsumi said with a sad face.

"Why? What went wrong? I kept asking God about this during my stay in the hospital but there was no answer. My faith did not save me. So lately I have been trying to learn common sense and use my own brain to think. To understand this world of nonsense. To never make the same mistake again." He then said.

"It was, after all, a dream that could never come true. We are not god with superpowers. It would be foolish to think we could change the world." HiMERU thought. The idol industry was built by a god-like super idol within one single generation. And all the countless people who came after couldn't reach that height.

Whether it's 'that Akehoshi' or the 'Priest'. Whether they sought to become a god or were expected to be one, none could truly achieve it. God is dead. Even the so-called 'Priest' who dared to imitate the appearance so he could replace god, met a tragic end at the recent SS. Deputy Director Saegusa told me this since he thought I had the rights to know.

Honestly I don't really care about the 'Priest'. He's been trying to replace god. The one named 'Godfather' since a long time ago. I was under the 'Priest' care when I ran away from home because I hated it there. If any he only took me in since I was seen as related to 'Godfather' by blood.

There were no feelings between the 'Priest' and I. I did learn some skills from him but that's all. We were total strangers I couldn't care less if he lived or died. I have no respect or love for that imposter who replaced my grandfather or great-grandfather. But Kaname is different. He's my poor little brother.

He innocently wanted to become an idol because that was what his mother, the only person who treated him with love, wanted. He wanted to live up to his mother's expectations. He wanted to be loved more by his mother, whom he loved the most. He was just an ordinary child. His mother used to love idols.

She loved them so much to the point of obsession and turned into a criminal-like stalker, infatuated with 'that Akehoshi'. When she knew about 'that Akehoshi' marriage, she was consumed by jealousy and stormed on stage, hurling insults at 'that Akehoshi' in the midst of a performance as well as calling him a traitor and a cheater.

Even when she had nothing to do with 'that Akehoshi'. She was neither his lover nor his family, just a complete stranger. Moreover she was already married as well. Whether it was due to love or obsession Kaname's mother lost her mind. Love and faith can drive people mad.

And idols spread those things unconsciously. What a sinful career to have. Kaname's mother causes a huge scene on stage in her frenzy and ended up falling from the platform during the scuffle. Unfortunately due to the impact on her neck and head, she died on the spot.

And 'that Akehoshi' who was the pinnacle of his popularity, fell from his grace because of that incident. Magazines and other media sensationalized it for publicity and wrote 'that Akehoshi' as the worst idol who killed someone on stage and it led to a public backlash.

It was obviously an accident. Rather 'that Akehoshi' was the victim who had been relentlessly pursued by a crazy woman and had his carefully prepared performance ruined. Whatever power was at play underneath the entire incident 'that Akehoshi' was treated as a criminal, imprisoned, and eventually died in jail.

Thus that incident became a taboo in the idol industry. Even now simply being the son of that woman is already enough to get one shunned by the industry and end up having no jobs. They even held up the fact like a banner of justice and made the violence against Kaname look righteous.

Yes. On that day the rioters gathered in the auditorium were acquitted of their crimes due to that fact. The higher-ups of the academy made that decision. All because the higher-ups thought it was acceptable to corner and crush the son of a criminal

Some of the teachers who has become their allies spilled that fact, making it the excuse for the non-honored students to attack their despised honored students. They had never forgiven the honoured students. They could not accept HiMERU, the detestable honored student to become equal to their beloved leader Tatsumi.

So they lashed out and exploded. Their dissatisfaction turned into anger and was overflown as violence. Younger Hanagaki was completely fine but Older Hanagaki had to stay in the hospital while gritting his teeth, regretting what has happened even though he only had to stay there for a few days. The same goes for Yuugiri. He wasn't hurt physically. But that's not the case for his mental state.

Celestial continued their activities even with their leader in that state which ultimately led to the unit's failure. That was what happened that day and a few days after the end of Tatsumi's revolution. Tatsumi's ideal was completely shattered for some petty grudges and past debts.

Even if it was a dream that could never come true. It still didn't deserve to be shattered this way. The woman who ended 'that Akehoshi', the super idol, has already died. But her husband and child still live. The husband had long been separated from the woman and lived alone.

Yet he was still relentlessly harassed by the fans of 'that Akehoshi' and eventually fell mentally ill. Despite the fact that he had already severed all ties with that woman, that they were complete strangers. Countless fans who couldn't accept the fate of 'that Akehoshi' practically treated him like a criminal, and that man who takes things quite seriously, broke down.

He was not only ill but broken. Out of pity the 'Godfather' took that man under his protection. Perhaps he couldn't leave the man alone because they were related. Or perhaps he just wanted to watch the husband of the woman who took away 'that Akehoshi' gradually break down so he could feel gratified somehow. Who knows.

God is dead. And we can never ask him. The husband never recovered and ended up wandering the land of a missionary school that later became Reimei Academy like a living dead. Like a ghost or a zombie who just stumbles around everywhere.

Maybe he wanted to atone for his wife who ended the life of an idol. It seems that the man was kind to all the idol rookies studying at Reimei Academy. And he had been voluntarily doing janitor work when he wandered around here and there. Occasionally when he sobers up to some extent he'd contact me.

Since I'm Kaname's half-brother another son to that man. Our father was married to another woman before he married Kaname's mother and had me before she passed away due to an illness. I was attached to my mother when I was young so I guess we are similar in that sense. Well we are brothers after all.

That's why I resented my father for wanting to marry another woman as if he's already forgotten my mother. Our relationship grew increasingly strained and eventually I left home and flew overseas. I didn't know what happened to my father afterward and I don't really care.

He sends me letters occasionally but I just throw them all away. So I didn't know about his marriage with that crazy woman, nor the existence of Kaname. I was confused at first. I never thought that I had a little brother.

But after father's endless pleading, I started to take care of my little brother. And he got attached to me innocently when I contacted him for the first time, relying on me while calling me Onii-chan. I was so happy, Kaname. I thought I'd live my life alone for the rest of my life. But that has changed. You gave me the things my parents didn't, Kaname.

So I wanted to do something in return. But...in the end I failed. I couldn't make Kaname into the idol he had dreamed to be. Even though I did everything I could at my father's request. In response to Kaname's wishes. I believed I was a competent person until that very moment. I thought I was strong and smart that I could survive on my own.

But that ego of mine got shattered. So now I'm living the life of my little brother and trying to fulfill his dream for him. It's nothing but my self-satisfaction. I failed. That was the reality I could never fix. Kaname himself probably didn't want me to do this.

I'm just doing this for myself and my self-esteem. I'll become the idol Kaname dreamed to be. I'll make our fantasy into a reality. I'll make HiMERU into a real idol. HiMERU thought.