Elysian's Monogatari

Chapter 130: Subaru's Pain

"But, a lot has happened since then. I met someone, someone who had the same eyes as mine but pretended to be happy, always smiling. It was Chi-chan senpai, who 'transformed' right in front of me. He was so cool. I grew to admire him. So I copied him and started to smile too." Subaru said.

"At first it was just a fake smile. But after spending so much time with other members in Trickstar, going from one brilliant stage to another, and before I knew it I was smiling naturally. My fake smile turned real. Because I was so delighted. So happy. Everything was sparkling before me."

"....." Ito said nothing as he and Anzu continued to listen. "I didn't wish for it but a miracle did happen. And it's happening. Somehow I started to take it for granted. So being an idiot, I forgot the fact that it could never be taken for granted. And because of that I became greedy. I started believing my life should always be filled with happiness and fun."

"And if it wasn't, I'd get frustrated thinking it was because someone was being unfair to me. That's why there's some tension between me and Hokke now. Ahhh ahhh. Am I going to turn back into who I was before?" He then said.

Ito said nothing again but this time he moved slightly closer to Subaru. While Anzu pet Subaru on the head, Daikichi licked his owner's face. All three of them feeling concerned for him. "...Oof. Anzu and Daikichi, you two always pamper me whenever I'm feeling down but Itorin being sweet to me is quite surprising. I'm really lucky." Subaru said.

"...Don't worry I won't go back to that old me. I remember how empty and painful that life was. I never want to experience that 'gray youth' all over again. There's not much time left, either. In less than a month we'll have to leave Yumenosaki. But at least I want to say goodbye with a smile. Will you two help me? I'd be so happy if you said yes." Subaru said.

"...B-But I'm...." "I know. Itorin you're part of the opposition faction. Even so I told you this not because I want you to change your mind about your opinion. I just wanted you to know my real reasoning behind accepting ES Academy. I...just don't want to have anymore regrets." Subaru said.

"....Well I have no objections to this so sure." Anzu said. "Really? Yay! And Itorin? Ah if you don't have an answer yet then don't worry I won't force you to answer now." Subaru said. "..N-No it's okay...I-I'm fine...with helping out..." Ito said. "You'll do it? Yay thank you Itorin!" Subaru said.

...I know I'm part of the opposition faction....b-but Akehoshi-kun suffered so much back then....I-I may have been bullied in the past...due to my hobby...but Akehoshi-kun got bullied...because he was the son of 'that Akehoshi'. J-Just for that....he had to endure so much...so...it's no surprise...to hear...he was a cold person who....was empty back then...

...I-I'm sorry...Koga-kun....I'm...going to help him...like a friend would...Ito thought. "Haha you two are the best! I love you." Subaru said. "Hyah?!!" Ito said. "Akehoshi-kun...." Anzu said. "Ahaha sorry sorry but this wasn't a joke. Don't get mad. Did you become sensitive because you haven't been joining our comedy routines lately?" Subaru asked.

"...T-Trickstar has a....c-comedy routine....?" Ito asked. "Yep! We sure do! But well I can't blame you. I mean you're probably tense with graduation so close too right?" Subaru said.

"...Everyone is basically the same. Even in the Production Course it's split between those who support the concept of ES Academy and those who don't. So it's been days of arguments and debates." Anzu said with a sigh.

"Heeeeh that's surprising. You're the only one graduating from the Production Course this year right? I thought your classmates are not bothered." Subaru said. "Not really. Actually it's more of a bigger issue for those who haven't completed their studies." Anzu said.

"Well you're right. Yumenosaki is going to be a totally different place. It must be a serious problem for the current students." Subaru said. "Y-Yep...T-That's why Ren-kun...is also not accepting ES Academy..." Ito said. "Makes sense. Renchin is going to be a third year soon. Even though he only transferred a few months ago he really seemed to like the place." Subaru said.

"After all the school everyone wants to go to is Yumenosaki Academy. But it is turning into some weird thing called ES Academy because of the selfish decisions of adults. I can see why everyone would feel dissatisfied, uneasy and unable to accept it. But somehow I feel they've been compliant. Most people in the Production Course other than you seem to be behind ES all the way." He added.

"So i thought they'd follow whatever ES decided without a second thought. I mean aren't people in the Production Course always criticising you for opposition ES, Anzu? They act like you should always obey the almighty ES and yet when something threatens their own benefits they just do a complete 180?" He then asked with a sigh.

"Ah I guess I can't talk too harshly about the Production Course either. I'm technically in favour of the concept of ES Academy. Especially for the pathetic reason that 'I'll end up even more sidelined than I already am if I oppose ES.'" He added. "I-Is that...what you told the others...?" Ito asked.

"...Yep. But I kinda envy Hokke. He's incredible. He can directly say no to things he doesn't like. He's always a rebel, or a revolutionary. And it was Hokke who invited me to join Trickstar back when I was a first-year. Then I was finally able to escape from the darkness. So this time, I should help him make his wish come true. You have to repay what you've been given right?" Subaru said.

"...." "...Huh? Anzu? Why are you upset again? Did I say something wrong?" Subaru said. "....Ah I see. That's not even Trickstar's style. Repaying favours, keeping score, profits and losses. That kind of adult or corporate logic is not our thing right? Ahaha I might've been too influenced by ES myself." He then said.

"But if that's the case, what does our style even mean? I need to seriously think about that more. No let's think about it together. This time with the three of us. That way no matter what happens along the way we'll work it out happily in the end, just like we always do. After all three times' the charm right?" He added.