Elysian's Monogatari

Chapter 132: Haven't Given Up Fully

"But honestly I don't really understand why everyone's arguing. I can't truly feel it as my own problem. When I think about it logically we don't have much choice but to go along with the ES Academy vision. We can't go against the 'big tide'. All we can do is find a position that benefits us in this constantly shifting world." Makoto said.

"That doesn't sound like something Trickstar would say huh?" Tori said. "But if someone like me weren't here our unit would probably spiral out of control and become a star in no time. The worst case scenario for me would be Trickstar drifting into isolation, misunderstood and abandoned by everyone. Losing our purpose, our place. If it's to avoid that I'll do whatever it takes." Makoto said.

"Even if my friends told me I wasn't a good fir for Trickstar, that they didn't need me, I'd willingly disappear. Trickstar matters more to me than I do." He then said. "Scary~ You're so serious it's almost like you're some kind of fanatic." Tori said slightly scared.

"Thanky you I'll take that as a compliment." Makoto said with a smile. "When Sena-senpai graduated I thought our tennis club had transformed into something 'healthier'." Tori said. "If that's the future you want you'll have to work hard next year, new captain." Makoto said.

"But who knows what'll happen next year? ES Academy will rewrite everything. They might decide club activities aren't necessary and get rid of them completely. The student council, the tennis club, we don't even know if they'll exist next year. I might just end up as an ordinary ES Academy student, neither the Student Council President nor the Tennis Club Captain." Tori said.

"Everything I thought I'd inherit, everything I assumed would stay the same, it all feels like it's about to disappear and that's terrifying." He added. "Oh so you do feel scared? Poor thing~! I can hold your hands to help you fend off fear." Makoto said jokingly.

"...Are you picking a fight?" Tori asked with his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm just saying sitting around being scared doesn't suit you. At the first DDD event you stood strong without a second thought even with all your seniors there. Back then you were the only first year there. And just a month before that you were still a middle schooler. But you got up on stage and gave it your all without trembling."

"I thought you were really incredible and cool back then." Makoto said. "...That's because I didn't know the situation well enough. I was just a kid riding on the authority of the invisible, strongest student council and the president, Eichi-sama. I didn't even consider the possibility of pitfalls ahead." Tori said.

"But now I'm different. I've had all kinds of experiences and I've grown a little. And I have realised, just how massive and powerful ES is. The boulder blocking my path is so big and heavy I can't do anything about it. I've grown enough to understand that. I'm not a kid anymore. I know I just have to endure it. This is how things are."

"I have to act like I've accepted it like I understand it and bury everything deep inside. And then I should tell myself that this path is blocked and find another. Even if I can't become the Student Council President, I can still carry on Eichi-sama 's legacy as an idol in Fine. But if I cling to the presidency now and try to fight ES, even that path will be cut off."

"You won't be able to survive in this industry once ES targets you. That's the kind of 'world' we like in now. So the correct answer for me is to accept the concept of ES Academy, actively comply with it. Maybe even criticize those who complain to earn some favor points. That way I'll be recognised."

"And my work will go smoother. Fine's standing will improve and I'll be seen as an obedient kind for ES getting more opportunities. I'm well aware of all that. But I'm frustrated. I hate it. It's terrible. How can this be happening? Enduring it, suppressing dissatisfaction, obeying orders. That might be the proper attitude of an exemplary adult. But that's not who I wanted to be. I wanted to be cooler, greater, more admirable." Tori said.

"...." "Ah s-sorry. Today's about the graduation seniors like you, Yuuki-senpai, not me. I've just been venting my own problems." He then said in apology. "Only people who have energy to spare can concern themselves with others. To get a sense of ease in our own lives, we need to get stronger. Strong enough to blow away the unpleasant reality and the obstacles in our paths." Makoto said.

"And you know what? I think we might already have that strength even if we don't realize it yet." He added. "....?" "Leave it to me. Talking to you has made me see things differently. Even if we can't move the boulder in our way we might be able to carve a tunnel through it." He then said. "W-What do you mean?" Tori asked.