Elysian's Monogatari

Chapter 90: Kaname's Struggles

𝗔𝗹𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗔𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿

"...Hello 'Onii-chan'?" Kaname said. "Yeah. You watched the TV? Thank you. Haha yes it's all thanks to you Onii-chan. I've trained a lot, following your instructions. And I performed flawlessly on stage with the most appropriate words and actions." Representing the highest level of Reimei Academy's idols." He then said.

"Because of you I've got a great reputation and job offers keep pouring in. Yeah I know it's definitely an amount I can't handle by myself so I gave some to the other honoured students. Of course all according to your instructions. Now they're all thankful to me. They all respect me, please me and love me."

"...They used to mock me when I lost my title as an honored student. They treated me as if I was less than a human, bullied and ignored me. Everything's too late now. I'll never forget the humiliation I received back then. Honestly I hate going out of my way to please those guys by giving work to them."

"If any I hope they all go to hell. They've hurt people so they should feel the same pain and die. Yes. Yeah I'm fine. I'm prefect. I won't display those emotions and will only act according to your instructions. Of course I will. Don't you trust me, Onii-chan?"

"Haha. Since we didn't know about each other's existence until recently we can't become as close as siblings who grew up together like Older Hanagaki and Younger Hanagaki. Oh those two are non-honored students but Older Hanagaki once helped me and gave me the first step of climbing back up from the depths of hell."

"We can't love each other like a family and there isn't a bond between us that makes us trust each other unconditionally. But I want to love you. As your little brother I want to love you Onii-chan. I had always been alone. After mom died when I was young-"

"Only her dreams and teachings were left for me. With those in my heart I was able to survive in a terrible orphanage. A place like hell where they did nothing but exploit children. I managed to escape from there as if I was running for my life and desperately worked to save money."

"I did not receive a proper education back then. No that wasn't even an environment to talk about things like education and cultivation. It was a hell where I had to give it everything just to survive. I put in the effort studied hard and became smart and strong."

"My hard work paid off and I achieved my dream of becoming an idol. I could finally walk the path of glory as Reimei Academy's honored student. I was happy. Really happy. That was the peak of my life. That's why it was unacceptable when I fell from my grace and ended up as a non-honored student just because of a minor slip-up."

"How could I get pushed off into the abyss again after all the efforts to climb to such a height? However I managed to crawl back from that hell because of you. I would never want to repeat the same mistake again. This time I'll make sure to complete my tasks perfectly without a single flaw."

"I'll protect this status at all costs no matter what needs to be sacrificed. So that I can fulfill my late mother's dying wish. It's the only thing I can do to repay her who gave birth to me and raised me. Who died so unfortunately young."

"My mother's gone. And I don't believe in heaven or hell. There's no afterlife. No matter what I do now she probably won't feel a thing. However in the midst of those hellish days the only that supported me was my love for her."

"Yes. My mother is like a god to me. There is no way I can change my faith. There is no way I'll betray such a belief. It's my root. My backbone. My everything. Do I look stupid, Onii-chan? You're powerful and it seems you can live on your own just fine. You can leave the things I desperately craved behind without batting an eye."

"And you still live as if nothing happened. Ah I'm not blaming you. I'm just as awed at how capable you are. I can't do it. I can't live like you. I'll be easily crushed without any emotional support. I lived in a cruel environment like that."

"I'm used to clutching anything I can get hold of, just to keep myself afloat. I don't know if it's my bad personality or what but everyone around me had always been indifferent to me. Mom was the only one who loved someone like me. So I was counted on her and believed in her."

"She was the only source of support. Well now that I have you as my new family so it's getting better. Haha. Yes it's really good to have you here. Perhaps this is the reward for all my hard work. Or rather maybe this is am apology from a real god who has finally realized how much I suffered throughout the way."

"There is no god you say? Well I guess you'd believe that way. But perhaps someday you'd understand. When you're falling into an abyss you might know the desperation I've felt the urge for something to hold on to."

"Yes. Yeah. I'll stop speaking nonsense and focus on what I need to do according to your instructions. Promise me that I'll gain happiness if I do what I'm told to." Kaname said.

...Ahaha...He hung up. Having such a clingy little brother must be a hassle for him. As someone who hates uselessness and inefficiency he must find my dependency annoying. But I can't live without clinging to something. Sorry, Onii-chan. He then thought.

[Dear HiMERU, I mean Kaname,
You are another one. I just told Ibara not to take the whole chapter to himself and now you're copying him? Really? Tell me properly. Did he bait you into doing this? Blink twice if you need help and I'll remove him from the fanfiction immediately. I said this to Ibara already but I'll say this to you also. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, take the whole chapter to yourself. Got it? Good.]