About Last Night (M.C) PART 11

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HIS POV

"Always," I whisper.

I watch as her face displays all kinds of things; shock, disbelief, relief, hope.

I want her to know everything, I want her to know how I feel.

"I just didn't think you felt the same," I admit.

The glasses come sliding down the bar and I pick mine up and take a sip.

I let what I've just admitted sink in.

"I didn't want anyone else. I didn't want a girlfriend if it wasn't you," I tell her.

Her small hands clutch at the glass in her hand, like its her lifesaver, stopping her from crumbling.

"So I slept around," I remember. "I had people, random people, to satisfy my needs."

The look of disgust on her face made me feel disgusted with myself.

"That's when I met Hazel," I explained.

Her face dropped and she looked away from me, looking so hurt.

My heart was slowly breaking at the sight before me.

I knew hers was slowly breaking the more I spoke and I hated knowing that.

"Hazel and I seemed to share similar views. She didn't have a guy she liked, like I had a girl. But she didn't want to settle down with anyone and we understood each other," I said.

She nodded with understanding but her face was still pulled down as she glanced up at me through her lashes.

"She satisfied the needs that I wished you could," I told her.

I stood from my stool and came to stand behind her.

I grabbed her stool and turned it around to face me.

I grabbed her knees and pushed her legs apart, fitting myself between them.

Her hands lingered in the air, not knowing where to settle and I took them in mine, caressing the backs with my thumb.

"I always pictured your face when I was with her and bit my lip so hard to stop from screaming your name," I admitted, chuckling as her cheeks flushed.

She pulled her hand from my grasp and lightly touched my lips.

She didn't speak, she just lightly touched my lips and I knew what she was searching for.

"Yeah, I bit my lips so hard I ended up cutting them," I admitted, feeling quite embarrassed.

She pulled back her hand and twisted a stray strand of hair around her finger.

"The night I spent with you was the best night of my life," I finally admitted. "It was also the worst."

She looked up at me with a hopeful smile when I admitted the way I felt about that night.

But when she heard my negative thoughts, her face dropped again.

"I told you that night how I felt about you," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

I wasn't sure if I'd heard her right, her voice was so quiet.

"I told you and you didn't remember," she said again, her voice a little louder.

"I don't remember," I said, trying to remember back to that night.

"I know," she laughed bitterly, pulling her hands back. "I sobbed so much afterwards and I hoped you'd comfort me. But you didn't. You just smiled, and told me to shush. You told me to come to bed and you climbed in and passed out. That's why I left."

I felt like my head was spinning, I felt sick.

I couldn't remember a word of what she was saying, but even not remembering I still hurt because of it.

She'd spilled every feeling, every emotion to me that night and I'd laughed in her face.

She jumped down from the stool, pushing me back and grabbed her purse.

"I felt so alone after that Michael. I felt so hurt, it's like we never happened. Like it was all just a lie. And I'm not fine with that. You hurt me and you don't even care," she said, her voice shaky.

She raced past me and the words she threw at me felt like a slap in the face.

She thought I didn't care, she thought I'd lied to her.

I stood frozen, the world around me spinning, the voices mingling around me.

I couldn't remember where I was, I couldn't remember where she'd gone.

I felt broken, lost inside.

I blinked a few times, I shook my head and I cursed aloud.

I pushed my feet forward, willing me to move, willing me to follow her.

I needed to see her, to speak to her, to beg her to forgive me.

I needed to grovel and I didn't even care, whatever it took I'd do it.

I'd get down on my knees for her.

I'd beg.

I'd cry.

I wouldn't give up.

Never.

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