Mr Hood (Calum Hood AU)

Part 41 - Step by Step

Everything seemed like a dream. I was just standing there as the things around me seemed to happen. I simply went along with them, I couldn't change what happened. I stood there as a man raped me, a man I later found to be called Elijah. I moved around with each kick, slap, and burn that a red haired man, I believed to be called Gregor, did to me. I lay there as Elijah had his way with me, over and over and over again. I knew I hated it, I knew I didn't want it. I didn't know why I let him though. Why was I even with him anyway?

These dreams never seemed to end. They brought me pain, but I was numb. I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't do anything. I couldn't, no emotion took over me, my body and chest just ached. There was nothing from before these memories. Nothing to explain how I got caught up with these men. The last memory I had before all of these was starting back to school this year. Seeing Sasha smiling at me as we walked through the halls and waiting to see. Hitting the beautiful new PE teacher in the face with a hockey stick and him looking so beautifully pissed at me. I felt there was something missing though. Something my brain was keeping from me.

As I lay in the darkness I heard a voice. A voice speaking to me through the dark. It seemed so pained, so saddened and hurt. I wanted to comfort them. I had heard it a few times but this last time, the real emotions in his voice came through. I didn't know who it was but I knew that he was holding my hand, and he must have been crying. I could hear the ache in his voice and feel the wetness of his tears on my skin. I needed to see this man. I wanted to know who it was that I had managed to connect to so strongly.

It was his voice that lulled me into a strange sleepy state. That wonderful voice that joked and told me how much he wanted me, needed me. I want to meet the man behind that voice. But I'm too tired right now.

-

I had been in a strange dream like state forever, it felt like. I was thinking of the man that was Elijah, how he kept me hidden from the world and how he kissed me and made my stomach turn. As I thought of him it made me feel sick. I felt every single thing he did to me and it was horrible. That was the last person I remember seeing. The man that kept me for himself.

Lying there was all I could do. I then felt lips attach to my own. This kiss was something else and I opened my eyes, slightly blinded by the brightness. There was a man there, kissing me. I recognised him, it was the teacher. He pulled away as he heard my gasp and looked at me wide eyed and with the biggest smile. "You're not Elijah." I stated, just reassuring myself. His smiled dropped and he looked hurt by my words. "Thank god!" I grinned at him. His smile brightened up as he took in my words. He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me.

Although I was glad that he wasn't Elijah, I still recall him being my teacher and this is not something that should be happening. I just couldn't remember his name. "I'm sorry," he said when he realised I wasn't hugging him back. "I am just so glad that you are awake." He chuckles. "It's fine. I just don't know why you're here? Is Elijah still here? Where is my brother?" I asked him, hoping more for Spencer to be here than Elijah. This glorious man's smile dropped. "You don't remember me?" He asked, tears springing to his eyes. "I know you're my PE teacher. And there is something else- but it isn't possible." I tell him, shaking my head. I couldn't tell him the other memory that was in my head. It would be too awkward.

He looks around the room. "What about Tom?" I ask him. "No. He is dating Sasha now. She has been to visit but not Tom." "Tom and Sasha!?" I ask gobsmacked by this revelation. "When did this happen?" I ask tears springing. "You broke up with him. Said that he wasn't what you wanted because you- erm, well never mind that." He shakes his head but I am too interested. "No. What were you going to say?" I ask him, curious. "You discovered what he was like and there was somebody else that you were starting to think more about. At least, that's what you told me." He shrugs. "And why would I tell you?" I questioned. "Because we, because you, we're friends." He tells me. There is more. He is hiding something from me.

We just stare at each other. Me lying on the bed and him beginning to pace. "Summer. I am really glad you are awake." He tells me. "I just want to tell you that I am so sorry for what has happened." He adds, his eyes glazing over. It's him! It is the voice! I need to play it off. "Why are you sorry?" I asked. "What do you remember Summer?" He asks me. "Just fragments. I remember a warehouse, and Gregor, and Elijah. And, and Megan!" I shout as the memories flood into me. "Megan was there! She is his sister! Elijah Hamilton!" I shout out as tears begin to fall. "He shot his sister. They- they shot me." I whispered as more memories came flooding back.

The guy came rushing over to me and he pulled me into his side. He wiped the tears away from my eyes. I looked into his eyes and they looked so inviting, so dark but calming. "I'm here. They aren't going to get you." He calms me down. He kisses my forehead as I curl into him. "Thank you Cal." I say to him. He turns to me wide eyed. What did I do? "You called me Cal." He tells me in shock. "Oh, I guess I did. Is that not your name?" Is that not his name? "It is. You remembered me." He smiles. "I did. I just wish I could remember everything." I whisper, more to myself than to him. "Step by step, love." He tells me kissing my forehead again.

I hadn't felt this kind of peace in ages. This man, Cal, he is so kind and gentle. I don't remember him fully but I have some memories. There are these things that I have done but the man is blurred, I can't remember him. But those eyes, there is something about them, something that comforts me and aids me in my memory retrieval. I have a feeling that there is a lot more to these memories and to this relationship than teacher and student. But as he says, step-by-step. It will come back.