Mr Hood (Calum Hood AU)

Part 67 - I don't understand at all

It was a few weeks after the party when Sasha and I finally sat down to talk. Sasha now had an obvious little bump and I still couldn't believe that my oldest friend was pregnant. It was exciting and yet it was a sad reminder that I was never going to be able to have the same excitement as she had right now.

It hurt to know that Calum and I were never going to have a baby together, at least not one that was mad by us. I was upset about the fact that I was not able to give him that. I know we are young to be thinking about that, but I've always wanted to have my own child, to have something that was part of me. I wanted to have a baby, but I knew I would have to get my mind around the fact that it was a physical impossibility.

"You alright there Summer?" Sasha's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I gave her a small smile and nodded. "Yeah. Just thinking about you having a baby. It's so crazy." I tell her and she smiles.

Sasha had become more excited about the baby after talking with Tom about it. I don't know exactly what had done it, but they were now both very happy about it. Sasha was still living at his house and he had finally told his parents. They were disappointed but they got over it. Tom wasn't disowned or anything, and I was glad to hear that.

"But we are supposed to be getting you sorted out today. It is wedding planning day!" She says excitedly. I giggled at her sing song voice. She always did just burst into random singing. "I know. How funny? I'm getting married." "And to a teacher. Scandalous. Didn't think you had it in you." She teases and I roll my eyes, forcing the blush down. "He was hardly my teacher. But I know." I try to defend. Sasha's eyes began to tear up at the memory. She always did get very upset when it was brought up, especially when her emotions were all over the place.

I grabbed her hand and she looked into my eyes. "I still cannot get my head around the fact that you went through that. The time you were gone were so dark, for the whole town. Nobody knew what had happened. I thought you had ran off because of what happened with me and Tom. I know it is stupid but I just worried that it was my fault somehow." I got up to give her a hug. "Don't think about it. And if you don't then don't worry about it. It is behind us now. I mean, it can't happen again. Eli is... gone." I said, the last part still hurting me, causing my voice to crack slightly. I coughed to cover up the crack. Sasha was definitely one of the people that never understood my attachment to the man, much like most people. She let out a breath. "I know. I know." She repeated.

Shaking her head, she shook me off too. "Let's get into this now. We have shit to plan." She says determinedly. She flicked through the magazines in front of us. "So where are we doing this thing?" She asked with a grin across her face, our old conversation forgotten. I chuckled. "I was just thinking the beach, keep it casual. There won't be many people coming anyway." She nods and writes it down. "So, we want things that won't be blown away in case of wind."

"How many people? So that we can think about seating." She wonders and I think about it. "Spencer, Luke, Michael, Ashton, Harry, and the boys can get plus ones. Then there will be you and Tom. Calum's family – Mali, Joy and David. Mali needs a plus one too. I don't know if Cal will want the boy's family's too, since they were very close. Luke has two brothers, his parents and I think one of his brothers has a fiancée, so they can both just get plus ones. Michael just has his parents. Ash has his mother and his sister, since Harry is already invited. I don't know if they need plus ones? But we can sort that with Cal after. But that should be it." I nod, going through everyone in my head to make sure I had them all covered. "Okay. So that is about 25 max. Sounds small." She tells me and I nod. "It will be. I don't want a huge thing." I explain to her.

We spend the rest of the day sorting out little things that I want, like the flowers and decorations. I was just thinking that we could have the reception at the house, no point in splashing out. We were planning on having the wedding in a few weeks so it was a little scary but mostly exciting.