Mr Hood (Calum Hood AU)

Part 51 - The Reasons...

Thank you guys so much or holding out for me. My laptop is seriously messed up, I had to clear the full thing and it still isn't working. I have lost a lot of my old work and everything. And it still isn't working. I am seriously pissed off. But I have had to start writing this on my phone for you guys. It is probably going to have typos and it may not be as long as the other chapters, so I am sorry but this is going to have to do until I can get another laptop or a computer. Sorry, once again. That's like all I ever write on here. At least this time it is at the beginning of an update though...

Oh well, I hope you guys enjoy this.

After Calum had left that night I broke down.  He broke me.  Calum was the one person that I thought would never be able to hurt me like this.  But he did.  He hurt me and I have no idea why.  I know it was because of what he had said about Elijah, or suggested about my feelings towards him.  But I already knew how he felt.  I just cannot believe he would actually say that, as if it were an accusation towards me. 

Calum Hood broke me and I cannot help that.  I can't cope with the fact my best friend, someone who I trusted and needed around me, was the person to make me cry.  I hate it.  And I hate the fact I can't hate him.  I wish I could.

He hasn't even been back here since then.  I have had no messages from him, no calls to apologise or talk.  It is like he didn't exist.  Luke still came round obviously but never spoke of Calum.  I didn't know if that was because of Calum or Spencer, but Calum Hood was no longer a name on our lips.  Fair enough it has only been a week, but that is the longest I have been without that man since I got back from Elijah's.  We barely went a day without each other.  It is weird.  I feel like something is missing, I know someone is missing.  That brings more pain, more hurt.  That he said those words, left, and he hasn't returned.  I have lost them both. 

After Calum had left I spent the next few days doing my school work and sleeping. That is legit all I did, it is all I could find the strength to do. I was a mess and I was not ready for confronting anyone. I couldn't bring myself to socialise and nobody tried very hard to get me to. Sasha had come round but she just talked to me about how excited she was for me to come back to school for the last month because she has missed me.

"The school isn't the same. Everyone has been affected and it is like everyone is scared of each other. I've missed you, hopefully when you're there then people will settle down. I mean, they all thought you had just like moved away or something." She tells me, going on about it. It isn't exactly something I want to hear but I amn't going to tell her to shut up so I just listen as she talks, not having anything else to say back to her.

"How are you getting on with your school work? I still think it is crazy that you are doing the whole course in like two months. So crazy!" She asks me with a laugh near the end. "Yeah, I am getting through it. I drew a lot at Elijah's and I wrote too. So my Art is totally done since I've done a few more pieces since being back. The photography was done too. The stuff I had written, I can use some of it for my folio work as it is pretty personal and well written." I tell her, I wasn't sure how she would take to me talking so casually about the time I was kidnapped, but I don't really care, I don't want to hide it anymore. Luckily, her eyes widen but she says nothing about the matter. "That's good then." She says, seeming nervous all of a sudden.

"So it is just Biology, Geography and Maths you need to focus on?" She asks and I reply with a nod. "I am good at bio and geography is easy. Maths is the only thing I suck at, but I always have so there is nothing new there." I laugh. "You could always ask Mr H." She suggests and I gulp, knowing that is what Calum went by at school. I knew it wasn't him, but it just reminds me that he is going to be there and I haven't spoken to him. "Yeah. I can ask Mr Hemmings." I tell her.