Mr Hood (Calum Hood AU)

Part 47 - I'm Scared

Double update.  Here you go guys.  Enjoy...

Two weeks had gone by slowly. I am finally getting out of this place. To be honest I am pretty scared to leave. I remember my house and a lot of what had happened before I was gone, but I haven't actually left the hospital. They had taken me on walks around the hospital, down to the canteen and such, but I've not felt the breeze of the wind flowing through my hair, the sun warming my skin, smelt the ocean salt as the waves break on the sand or even walked around in normal clothes. I had been wearing large t-shirts and baggy sweatpants, courtesy of Spencer and Calum. That was what I had lived in for the past two months and I was not saying that was bad, but I had actually forgotten that I was going to have to leave.

Spencer and Calum had been with me while Dr Jake was talking to me about going home. They were all for it, saying that I should get out of this place. He had obviously talked me through getting back into school, but they had actually given me my curriculum for the months of work I had missed while I was with Elijah.

Elijah had been in my thoughts while I was in the hospital, when I was alone and in therapy it was the worst. I did not have any hatred towards him. I don't think I ever will. For some reason, I care about him. It actually hurts me that he was killed, I have grown to accept everyone else's death, but his. I know that he was behind that whole gang thing that took all those girls and that he did a lot of illegal stuff. And he did kidnap me for months. But for some reason I saw the good side of him, I saw the kind man that he could be. He of course had something wrong with him, mentally, and it made him have terrible moodswings and that led to people being killed. But never me. He had only hit me once, in the full time I had known him, and that was the first day in that warehouse. Never again, and I have remembered every moment of being in that beautiful house with him.

We talk about him in therapy, they seem to think it is some kind of 'Stockholm Syndrome' but it isn't. I don't have some creepy obsession with him, I am not in love with him, I just- I know how he was when he was being kind and gentle. He hated the scars on my body that were left by his henchmen in his absence and he would always kiss them whenever he caught a glimpse. I do not love him, and I do not even necessarily like him, I just feel for him. If I had never been rescued, then I think I may have gotten used to living with him. Reading him was easy for me, I knew when he was in a bad mood, when he was happy and when he needed someone to talk to. He just needed somebody to be able to love him and help him with whatever was going on inside of him.

For some reason, these are my thoughts on my last day in the hospital. Spencer was signing the discharge papers and Calum was packing up some of the stuff that was in my room. Spencer had already taken a lot of the gifts and cards back to the house over the last two weeks, I had a lot of visitors and most of them brought things with them. People from school, some kids in the local band that I always support when they have a gig and the guys from the team had come in. Sasha, Tom and Harry had been in too. The head teacher had even come to visit me and bring me a card signed by the rest of the staff. Luckily Calum was in at that moment, he had been at football coaching as the school had started back up a couple weeks ago and he had been told he needed to go back to school. The Head was actually really nice to me and he was so sympathetic, that part I didn't appreciate so much, but it is the thought that counts so I can't hate him for feeling bad about what happened to me.

I was getting out of the bathroom in my lovely pair of leggings and a baggy white tee again. I didn't need to dress properly yet. Calum looked up at me and smiled. "You ready to rock?" He asked with a grin. His arms holding the bags of my stuff in them. I gave a nervous smile as I nodded in response. I was too nervous for a response.