Lights. Camera. PDA. (HS // au)

I know we only met but let's pretend it's love

Savannah

I can't decide if the universe is being generous to me or straight up wants me dead.

Let's review the events that have taken place up until now to come to a conclusion.

I get selected for an internship being a wardrobe stylist for Harry Styles. We sign a deal whereby we have to pretend to be in a relationship. Now we have to snuggle in each other.

Yeah, the universe wants me dead. Concluded.

These are the thoughts racing in my mind as I stand dumbfounded in the studio, waiting for Harry to hug me from behind.

I have absolutely no idea how to absorb all these feelings that I'm going through. They're an amalgamation of embarrassment, shyness, sadness, awkwardness, annoyance, frustration. And they've managed to build up to such an extent that I feel like I will explode any second.

Gary keeps directing us regarding how to do everything perfectly. He literally made us practice holding hands for an hour straight because he thought it wasn't natural enough. And then he made us practice a sideways hug, which was a bit funny because Harry ended up patting my head.

I think that moment was the only time that I had enjoyed coming here and doing this. We all just sat on the floor and laughed till my stomach hurt.

I notice Harry's arms snaking around my waist from behind and I remind myself to breathe. Thankfully, Gary is not standing in front of me because I'm sure my face is flushed right now.

I've never been this close to Harry. The most intimate thing we've done since we met is shake hands, and now look what we've gotten into.

He wraps his arms around me and my body automatically stiffens; my spine straightens and abdomen pulls inward. It's strange, how I feel right now.

Before meeting him, I used to imagine what it'd be like if he ever touched me. I'd get goosebumps all over, my heart rate would increase, my skin would feel like it's on fire and I would lose all sense.

I couldn't have been more wrong. All I can think is how uncomfortable this is and all I can feel is embarrassed and shy. It's these feelings that have literally made me believe that all I had was a celebrity crush on him, nothing more.

Sensing the tension in my posture, he brings his face closer to my ears and whispers, "Try and relax."

I clench my jaw and force myself to lean back and relax against him. I wonder what he's going through. It must be awkward for him as well, it's visible from the constant frowning on his face.

But I bet it's easy for him. He's been acting since five years now, I'm pretty sure he's a pro when it comes to dazzling girls.

Then why the fudge is he acting like a total illiterate? Idiot.

"Alright, I think I'm done with this."

I move away from Harry as soon as Gary says this. Just hearing these words makes me feel relieved that this torture is over.

"Just improvise when you go out." Gary continues to speak. "This practicing is making me depressed."

I count to ten to keep myself calm, because I fear I will scream at him any second now.

He puts on his shades and tells us that he'll be going out through the back door, while Harry and I will be leaving through the main exit. He's hoping there's paparazzi outside so that they can picture us together.

I'm hoping there's no one outside. Because being caught seen leaving the studio early morning will make people think entirely different scenarios. And I'm not entirely sure I want people to think that just yet. Plus, I'm really not in the mood to answer Sam's, Hazel's and my family's never ending questions.