Lights. Camera. PDA. (HS // au)

It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends

Harry

Why didn't we kiss? I think to myself as I lie on my bed in the dark. We were clearly in the moment and she was close to me, so much that I could feel her heart beating through her chest, then why didn't we kiss?

These are the thoughts that have encompassed my mind ever since the dance. I don't really know why I decided to slow dance with her, maybe it was just that moment or maybe it was because she looked mine. And when I held her in my arms and swayed with her, I swear, I wanted to stay like that forever. I never wanted that song to end, never wanted to let her go.

Then, why the fuck didn't we kiss? Why didn't I kiss her? Why didn't I stop her when she pulled back and walked away? Why was I so nervous? Why did I feel so scared?

I sit up and throw my pillow away in frustration. All traces of sleep have disappeared from my mind and no matter how hard I try, I can't fall asleep. I get up and pace around the room, rubbing my neck as I do so.

Maybe I should talk to her? I glance at the clock and see that it's 2 A.M. There is no way she would be awake.

But, what if she is?

I groan angrily and stomp out of my room, annoyed at myself for acting so stupid. I abruptly stop outside her room, deciding if I should even knock. After a minute of wavering back and forth, I knock softly and wait for a response.

I clear my throat and say, "Savannah? I need to talk to you."

When there's no answer even after I've knocked multiple times, I slowly twist the knob and open the door. "Savannah?" I ask as I step inside and find the bed empty.

Maybe she's in the bathroom, I think, knocking on the toilet door. "Savannah? Are you in here?"

There's still no response. I bang a bit loudly on the door and nervously open the door only to find the bathroom empty. Where'd she go?

I walk back in the living room and give a proper look around in case I missed her sleeping on the couch. There's no sign of her there and neither in the kitchen. Which means there is only one place left for her to go; the floor above. I climb the spiral staircase and just as I reach higher ground, I spot her sitting in front of the full-length window that spans the wall in front from top to bottom.

I don't think she heard me come, so I clear my throat. Her shoulders jerk the slightest bit at my intrusion and she turns her head around to look at me. "Hey," she says before turning back again and resuming her former position.

"Can't sleep?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "No. You?"

I walk forward and stop just a few steps behind her. "No." I answer. "Can I join you?"

She shrugs and says, "Sure."

I cross my legs and sit beside her, careful not to sit too closely. After a few minutes of silence, I hear her say softly, "This is so beautiful."

What she's referring to is a long stretch of bright lights which originate from buildings and clubs and car headlights. All the different colours mix together to give one mesmerizing glow which always illuminates this part of my apartment. It is breathtaking, really. But, I'm not looking at it. I'm looking at her as I say, "Yeah. It's beautiful."

She suddenly glances at me and I look away outside, trying to appear casual and not as if I was ogling at her. "Why can't you sleep?" She asks me softly.

"Reasons." I say. "What about you?"

"Reasons."

I chuckle and shake my head. It's obvious she won't admit her actual reasons for insomnia until I give her a clear answer. So, I purse my lips and say, "I was thinking about before.. The dance, I mean."