I Promise | Carson Lueders

Engagaed To Carson?

He squeezes my hand gently, causing me to look up. He's already looking down at me with that smile of his, and I don't mean his closed-mouth smile, I mean is real smile. His real smile that shows off his teeth and his hazel eyes brighten.

I smile back, knowing he's secretly asking if I'm okay. I'm fine, but not okay. I'm in between.

We're walking around The Grove, shopping and just enjoying each other's company. Even some of our fans ask for some pictures and I definitely don't mind taking pictures with them. Everything is perfect...except for one thing.

Most of his fans hate us. They hate the idea of us. And the most obvious one; they hate me. They wouldn't stop making hateful comments towards me, saying that I'm ugly, fat, worthless, and nobody cares about me. I know to just ignore the comments because they don't matter, but the thing that gets me upset is the fact when they told me that, they didn't care that it would hurt. I'm human as well. I have feelings as well. I saw the look in their eyes when they said that. They had no sympathy. They had hatred and most of their eyes were blank. No emotion.

I'm not saying most of Carson's fans are like that at all. Besides, a good majority like us together and even ship us. There's some that don't like the idea of us, but doesn't give me or him hate. They respect us as a person and those are some of the people that I like.

Carson even says that the ones that hate us together are the fake ones. He says that they don't have to like us, but they don't have to make hatred comments towards us. They should be happy because he's happy, only if they're true fans.

I believe him.

But the hate is getting worse everyday. I'm just not getting hatred comments through the Internet, I'm also getting threats...death threats. And that's just not on the internet, it's also in real life. Yeah, people are actually walking up to me and saying this to my actual face.

I'm totally fine getting the hate through social media, but not when people actually walk up to me and send me threats.

Carson has even tried to stop them, but most of them don't listen. That's how he knows that they are the fake ones. He has given up on it though since they won't listen.

I honestly need to do something to make these guys stop. The only thing I can think of is ending our relationship and I definitely don't want to do that, but that's what his fans, that hate me, want.

I want his fans to be happy with whoever he is with. Is this their way of disapproval? Am I not approved in their book? I'm stuck between two halves of a whole.

Maybe tonight I can get Carson and I by ourselves and we can talk about this because my heart is hurting. I don't want to be the one that ruins the relationship between Carson and his Luedizers. It happened with Justin Bieber and his fans when he "dated" Sofia Richie.

We arrive back at Carson's apartment complex with a couple of friends. We decided to hang out outside near the stairs because they wanted to ride their scooters around. I'm leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest, staring off into space. Just thinking about how I'm going to tell Carson the news.

I felt someone gently nudge me in the arm. I blink and turn my head, seeing Dylan. I give him a small smile.

He tilts his head, studying my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He gives me a look of disbelief. "Rachell, I know you. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, really. Um, I need to use the bathroom," I say, walking up the stairs. I hear footsteps walking fast up the stairs, behind me.