Guarded

INTRODUCTION

Alone        broken     tired    traumatized     physically     mentally      socially             Abused      damaged     Scared    Nowhere to go   Nowhere to hide

Words to describe what my dad did rape being one of them my mom tried to stop him but it was to late

Bashing, beating the living hell out of me, slitting my throat then telling the abundance that I tried to commit suicide, pushing

his cock so far into me that i cough up blood calling me names like whore, Slut, tramp, hoe, nobody, dumb ass piece of shit good for only sex, go back to the hell hole you came from, your a worthless piece of shit i wish you were dead those are just some

All sorts of different things run through my mind as I walk through the front door of my new house fear being one of them

I was covered in black from head to toe my body was bruised and broken ashamed of who I am my heart physically hurts I'm terrified of my father

I constantly live in fear he left not only physical scars but an emotional scar of violence, isolation ,misery, and sorrow that will last forever

I'm damaged I feel like a worthless piece of crap, useless  sometimes scared and alone nowhere to go

I hate getting flashbacks from things I never wanted to remember being hurt by the person who you thought would never hurt you and was supposed to fix your broken heart catch you of you fall is the worst feeling in the world

The feeling of loneliness. I remember the horrible horrible memory of him very well he has physically,mentally and socially abused me since I  could remember.

I'm angry at him for a lot of things I'm scared and  i feel empty  sometimes I feel like the only way to take the pain away is to die

My name is Alex stone i'm 16 and I'm moving in with 2 guys one is 17 and the other is  my mom's new husband i saw them at the wedding but i didnt meet them i'm a i'm 5'6  thin  brown eyed girl with blond hair