Guarded

When she cries

"i honestly just want this tour to be over" i told them "why" justin asks "because i'm not angry anymore and these songs I don't want to sing anymore and the thing with austin made me sad, also I'm like constantly alone and I don't feel good and I'm depressed you can tell" i confessed

"Uncle justin come play with me" Jagger asks justin went to play with him "what's up with you" alfredo says i looked at him i pulled him to the different room "when I was dating Austin

I thought I was happy but I wasnt something in my heart was missing it was way more public then justin and i were and i was scared austin was good guy, but throughout our relationship i told him but he's not justin and I'm not okay now i just want this tour to be over

because Im still in love with justin I have anxiety over this tour I'm depressed because I don't want to sing about forgetting him and missing him and faking it because I didn't fake anything I loved him with everything I had and it's not fair it was supposed to be me and him together forever we talked about marriage and a family

i can't sleep i look at all the pictures of me and Justin and i think about us all the time what if I feel guilty and stupid because I love someone who hurt me so bad" i told her almost 2 years ago i told justin i hated him and I don't hate him i love him but I'm scared i don't want to get hurt again " i explained to him I wiped the tears

"Justin loves you and if it meant that he had another chance with you he would do anything you wanted him to" he confessed "i wanted him to fight for me" i cried

3 months later
I'm almost done with tour i have one more stop it's in Los Angeles staples center the pit is filled with my friends and family Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, Gigi and Bella Hadid, Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian Kanye West, Kendall and Kylie Jenner, Madison Beer, Taylor Swift Ryan Butler, Christian beadles,Caitlin Beadles, Chaz Somers, Yael and Scooter Braun, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Shawn Mendes, Becky G, Justin, Jaxon, Jazymn, Jeremy and my mom, Alfredo Flores and a couple more

It was 2 hours before the show i was in meet and greets wearing (pic above) "hi what's your name how are you" i asked 100 times it was extremely exhausting "then justin and Alfredo come back "hi what's your name how are you...literally I've done that a hundred times today" i told them

.....

The opening acts went on then it was my turn the video played then the lights went out I was wearing the shout out to my ex outfit I stood up on the heart the dancers pushed the heart on stage the lights went on and the music to shout out to my ex *Little Mix* started I started singing i changed some of the words

"This is a shout out to my ex
Heard he fuckin with some other chick
Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit
Forget that boy, I'm over it
I hope she gettin' better sex
Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe
Took three long months to call it quits
Forget that boy, I'm over it" I sang I walked off the heart and sang the rest of the song

...

Set list song number 10 when she cries i changed into pic above then walked out on stage the Music started I started singing

"Little girl terrified
She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal
A home is no place to hide
Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels" I sang I touched some hands

"Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries

Today she's turning sixteen
Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile
They never get past arms length
How could they act like everything is alright?
She's pulling down her long sleeves
To cover all the memories that scars leave
She says, "maybe making me bleed
Will be the answer that could wash the slate clean" I sang. I sang the rest of the song