I Will Love You Unconditionally | A Katy Perry Fanfiction

Chapter 44: I'm sorry

At first I didn't think that Katy heard me at first but she must have because she stops stroking my back. There was silence until Shannon excused herself and left knowing that we both need to be alone in order to sort this out. After I heard the front door slam Katy walked me over to her bed still with my legs snaked around her waist and my arms curled around her neck. She slowly placed me down and I moved over to the right side of the bed and sat crossed legged, Katy did the same. My eyes remained in my lap as I fiddled with the plain white sheets.

"Holly you don't need to..."

I cut her off. "Katy I need to apologise, I need to do more than apologise. I was such an idiot for not believing you. I don't know why I didn't. But after thinking about it the whole plane trip I think I figured it out. I was scared to decide. And by being angry at you it meant that my decision was already made for me. And I didn't want to lived with someone who I hated." That word burns my tongue. It's disgusting that I even said that aloud let alone say it numerous times to Katy's face. "But it made the decision clear. But that wasn't the right decision, and frankly I never wanted to go to Africa I was just scared to admit that to myself, maybe if I had of we wouldn't have had his huge fight. I can't take back what I did but I want you to know that I never hated you. Not one single bone in my body did," I admit. I look up at Katy who is already crying. I feel so guilty whenever I look at her since I know how hurtful that word was.

"So you never hated me?" Katy says choking on the word 'hate'.

I just shake my head. "No."

"Then why were you scared to say that to me. Why were you scared to admit the truth. Holly all I've given you is the truth," Katy explains.

"Because I was scared to admit that to myself," I say.

"Maybe if you had of then we wouldn't be in this situation."

"I'm sorry. I know that it was stupid and I'm already beating myself up about it. So can you please put yourself in my shoes and understand where I'm coming from?" I state but add a bit of sass into my tone.

"I am putting myself in your shoes but I still don't understand. Why couldn't you have just believed about the article wouldn't that have made a clear decision to come to LA with me?" Katy just doesn't get it.

"Well your obviously not. And can you stop focusing on the past because I'm in LA with you now and that's all that matters," I say as I raise my hand.

"Holly you can't just bury things that have happened in the past. I know that you did that with Richard but it doesn't mean that it's right."

"Oh so you want me to start bringing up your marriage and how you left your own child," I yell.

"Don't mention his name and I didn't have a choice!" Katy's blood begins to boil and she holds the sheets tightly in her hands.

"Actually Katy you did. You could have easily taken me to Los Angeles with you. Or maybe you could have been apart of my life and been with me when I needed someone. I didn't even know who you were and I didn't even know that I was adopted. Do you know how much that hurt to think that my biological mother had gotten rid of me. To think that my own mother didn't want me to be apart of my life." I pause tasting the salty tears. "That hurt a lot. And it hurt even more to know that my idol was that person. You could have at least came to visit but you chose your career over me."

"You will always come before my career!" Katy says trying to keep herself from sobbing.

"Then why didn't you visit. Why didn't you come back for me? Why didn't you tell me the truth earlier? Wait were you actually going to ever tell me?" I look at Katy who stares back at me but I look away knowing that I'll get sucked into her eyes.