Tangled and Challenged

Chapter 2

March 20, 2016

Understanding:

I am really starting to understand what it means to have. I want to be able to have money left over. I know I can get better at spending. I am going to keep striving for success. I am going to keep working hard at the body shop. I am also going to start doing what it takes to become a better writer. I know it's going to take a lot of determination. I hope I can get things done.

I have been working a little bit on myself. I am starting to understand I am not always going to get what I want. It doesn't mean that I don't have to try. I am going to keep trying.

March 21, 2016

Feeling Free:

I found a website which allowed me to preview the From Failure to Promise books. I like From Failure to Promise: 360 degrees. I also got the information for my financial aid. My dad is willing to help me. Knowing my dad is going to help me, makes me feel a whole lot better. I went through so much crap with my mother. I thought it would be the same from my dad. I was sadly mistaken.

I posted another chapter of The Life of Star last night on Wattpad. I now have 18 people who read the story. I feel good about this. It shows me at least my writing isn't terrible. I am going to keep at it of course. I even started three new Bible plans this morning. I had a great talk with Nate last night. I was happy being able to know we can communicate effectively. Even though we can't see each other in person, we have been able to Skype and talk on the phone.

I am feeling a whole lot better. I am going to be able to get my wish. I will be able to go to college. I am very proud of myself for not giving up. God is the one who allowed me to look up the college this morning. He has been directing my path for some time now. I know now all the bad which was going on, was not his doing. God is a very strong and willful father. He can make things happen, that we mere humans cannot. The Lord is so great and merciful.

So far, my work day has been good. The day has been slow. It doesn't mean that it won't pick up either. The main person who has called today has been my aunt. My aunt Lisa is our boss. Her, and my uncle Charles. I don't mind working here. I enjoy it, and the only thing I need to work on is my emotion. I must learn to leave it all outside. I am starting to get better at it. I think it's only because I am not in front of my aunt. When she is here, I mess up so much.

I mess up a lot, I think because I don't want to disappoint her. Yet, I do end up messing up, and then I get emotional. I'm not upset, it's just I get mad. The tears are from frustration. My dad still must tell me to calm down. I know I have a lot to work on. I can handle it. I just need to keep at it.

March 22, 2016

Enjoying the day:

My day has been going great. I have read two great romance books. I have even gotten to talk to my baby too. When I talk to him I feel as if I am on air. He makes me very happy. It amazes me he still loves me past the situation I was in, and how emotional I can get. I feel ecstatic just being his girlfriend. Last night we were talking and just knowing to him there is no else who can love someone as much as he loves me, it makes me feel uplifted.

God is so good to me. He has allowed me to have love in different forms. I have his love, love for myself, love from my family and my best friend and cousins, and then love from Nate. Nathaniel is a great catch. It doesn't matter to me he has kids. He is very loving and I can tell he loves his girls. From what I can tell, they adore him. I think it's great to have a bond like that. It's something that doesn't come along that much in a family these days.

I hope one day I can understand why he loves me.

March 23, 2016

Early:

It's another day and I am calm. It's still only after 9 in the morning. I got up at 6, and then I slept a little bit more. I am not a morning person. When I got up, I got my baby up too. He called me while still being in the bed. Man, we have a great communication relationship. I like that we keep each other smiling. We may not always tell each other we love each other. It doesn't mean we don't. We prove it all the time. He wants to do so much for me.

I know things are limited for him. I also know he will try to make it happen. I know because that's the type of person he is. I feel lucky knowing I have someone who loves me for real. He told me what he dreamed about me. It made me laugh, but smile. It made me think anything is possible. I know I tell him that all the time. Just being able to understand it, by having an example makes things better. I'm glad things are working out so well. It's good to have a good life. I didn't think it would.

March 27, 2016

Happy:

It's been a good day. Things couldn't have gotten better. It's time to lay down and relax.

March 28, 2016

Just Updating:

As it seems, things are going great. I just keep allowing certain things to get to me. Maybe one day I will be able to understand why I feel that way. I have so many questions lingering inside my head. It wasn't very fun being in the hospital this past week. I am so worried I am going to end up like all those people who never followed their dreams because life got in the way. I don't want my future to be picked out for me. I don't want that.

Last night, I was talking to Nate and he was trying to get me to understand he wasn't going to be like all those other guys I have dated. Man, you start to think differently when you get in a new relationship. Life just knows when to send you a curveball. I like knowing I am not on my own in any of what is going on with me. I got my dad helping me and I have Nate for support as well as my great aunt and my great grandmother.

March 29, 2016

Another Day:

Well, my great aunt got on me again today. I just can't seem to do anything right when she is around. I don't understand. I know I should have told her good morning, but dang she didn't have to make it a big deal. She got on me about being on my laptop. She said if uncle Charles didn't have anything for me to do, I was going to get sent home.

Man, she stresses me out sometimes. I love her, I like being at the shop. I just don't want to hear about everything I do being wrong. I dislike that.

March 30, 2016

The Night is Here:

It was a long day. The events changed to be good. We had a good work load. I am glad to home. I am glad to have my dad in my life. Being around my dad has allowed me to have a guy figure to go to for questions. I know my dad is protective. Yet, with him being protective he will have no choice but to tell me the truth. I am glad I can listen to what my dad must say. When I was growing up, I kept thinking my parents were just talking.

I was wrong. My dad wasn't just talking. He was giving me advice. Well, now I have a second chance to get a relationship with my father. I like knowing I have God to talk to. I talk to him all day long as well. When I am at work, I usually talk to him when I am in the bathroom. I am just not saying it out loud. I like knowing God knows my heart and mind. He knows what's going on inside of me. That's more than what I can say for myself. Him, my dad, and Nate care for me.

I want to make sure I can be a good person. I got to get back into sharing. I can't believe Auntie called me rude. I am sorry my manners aren't showing with her. I try very hard. I am going to get back into being the person I know myself to be. I am not rude. I just got stuff building up from our conversations. I just need to take some time and learn from them. I know I need to make sure I keep calm and watch how I do things. I don't want to end up getting caught in a hurtle.

This life has been teaching me so many things. I was tired of having to deal with what life was throwing my way. It seemed like I could never get out of the situations. Once I found real happiness, things started working out. God is where true happiness lies. I have been lost and confused. I have been through crap time and time again. I am glad I can start getting better at life. I am going to get focused.