Tangled and Challenged

Chapter 4:

May 8, 2016

Just the thought:

Well, it's been a few days. I have started working on turning my online journal into a story. I posted the first chapter onto Wattpad. I am glad I am feeling good about getting my truths out. I know that's pretty much all I write about. I know it still bothers me I don't have the stories I spent time working on. One day I will be able to get those.

Mother's Day is tomorrow. I am glad I can tell all the mother's I know Happy Mother's Day. I am glad I can even say it to my mom. Even though she isn't talking to me, that doesn't mean I'm not talking to her. I am not making anything difficult. I still have love and compassion for someone who has chosen to allow me to fall every chance she got. My feelings towards things which have happened to me involving my mother, have just made me realize how I don't want my future kids (if I have any) to go through.

I love my family and I love her. Letting go is something I have chosen to do. I have spent so much time around her, that at one point I thought I was going to be just like her. Yet, I am not going to. I have my life and she has hers. I have family members who have their life and I have mine. My future is mine and I am going to make it the best. It seems very amazing to me that with being able to have the time to reflect on your life, you get a sense of who you are.

I am a good person. I am rough around the edges, yet I am okay. I think that's how I need to be.

May 9, 2016

The night time:

Well, I went with my sister to the pool today. I sent all the mom's I know a happy Mother's Day message. I have been going crazy thinking my boyfriend didn't want to talk to me. It turned out, I just never got his messages because of my phone.

Now, I have been feeling bad because I flipped out on him. He says he isn't upset, but I know if it was me, I would be. I'm just hoping he will forgive me.

May 10, 2016

Just Letting You Know:

The week has been going great. My nook charger came and I am glad to have my nook back on. I am glad about being able to read as many books as I can. I posted another story on Wattpad today. I turned my online journal into a story. It felt good to write a truthful story.

I have been looking up about things to look out for as a writer. I am taking notes and paying attention. I am going to keep pushing myself as a person. I am glad things are going well for me.

May 18, 2016

A simple talk:

I have now been being tons better. I feel as if things are going the way they should go. I found out my mother seems to think I am not getting anywhere with my dad. With being with my dad, I am starting college in August. I didn't have to fight with him about doing my financial aid. I have a relationship that I am not too afraid to be in. I know how to be myself and not worry about everyone else. I am doing way better here than I was with her.

Even my writing is doing better. All my social media is even picking up. I can now say I have a life. I have a life that is fit for me. I know I am rough around the edges. I know I have a whole lot to learn. I am working on myself. I get to do things I like. I don't have to worry about getting in trouble. I don't feel like I am going to snap all the time. My temper is still bad, yet I am not full of anger every day. I am doing good with my health.

I may still get kinks in my neck, but at least my chest doesn't hurt when I get upset any more. I am feeling loved and I am enjoying myself. I have evolved into being me and not being anyone else. I am happy and that's what counts.