Team Ten Imagines

Kade Speiser- If I Had Just Forced... (TRIGGER WARNING)

The alcohol stank out the flat, it was so unlike Kade that I was worried. I found him sat on his kitchen floor, I placed my phone and keys down gently on the worktop. His head was in his hands, a couple of empty beer bottles and an opened bottle of Vodka was scattered around him. "Kade.." I said softly. He looked up and he had been crying. His eyes looked sore, red and they were bloodshot. "I'm sorry, I just..." He sobbed. I sat down next to him and held him tightly. "Just calm down." I whispered, rocking him back and forth. He slowly calmed down, and I managed to get him to talk.

I dated Kade for 3 and half years and we've been broken up around 7 months now.

"Mackenzie and I we split up.." He mumbled. I gasped, they seemed so, so in love and he was head over heels for her. "The distance got too much, for her. It was her happiness or mine. I chose for her to be happy." He sobbed. "Kade, deep breaths. It's going to feel a lot better, when you sober up and stop getting yourself in such a state." I whispered, stroking his hair. It took him about 45 minutes to calm down and then I tried to get him to eat. "If you sober up, I promise it'll feel so,so much better Kade." I said passing him a bowl of pasta. He ate most of it, and I tried talking to him again. "I just wanna sleep." He said, climbing into his bed. "I'm gonna crash here if that's alright, I wanna make sure you're okay in the morning." I said. "Honestly, go him. I promise I'm fine." He said hugging me. "Kade you were out of it less than 2 hours ago, are you sure?" I asked. "Yeah it's fine, I swear."

**2 DAYS LATER**

I was a wreck, I couldn't see him in this way. Anthony held me tightly. "Breathe Y/N." He said. I pulled away and paced the corridors, trying so desperately to catch my breath. Finally, I did and Jake came over. "I think you should go in and see him, he really wants you to, before he goes down to surgery." He said, holding my hand. "Okay." I said, quickly wiping my eyes. I went in, he had several machines tracking his heart rate, blood pressure, his breathing. "Hey." He said, wincing as he stretched his arm out. I held his hand gently. "I'm sorry I didn't stay that night. I should've stayed, should've stopped you.." He cut me off. "I would've done this whether or not you stayed that night. I'm sorry for scaring you. I wasn't thinking straight, I just wanted the pain to go." He said, tearing up. "Please don't apologize Kade. I promise, we are all here for you- every step of the way. Mackenzie actually called...she asked if you wanted her to fly from Miami to see you..." I trailed off as a tear rolled down his face. "No. She can't be here, if I'm going to recover from this." He replied. The Nurses and Doctors came in. "Are you ready?" One of them asked. I kissed his cheek. "I'll be waiting for you the second you come back." I said, I kissed him again on the forehead and he kissed my hand. 

I sat in the waiting room with Jake, Nathan and Nick. Nathan and his parents decided to go on a brisk walk and a coffee to help ease the stress and pain. "If I'd have forced him to come back to mine, or I insisted on staying...I could've spoken to him, known he had the drugs and was going to overdose. He wouldn't be on the operating table right now, with fucking potential permanent brain damage." I cried, he put his arm around my shoulders. "This isn't your fault Y/N."