Living with Jennifer Lawrence

[77:] Happy Place

Maddie

This isn't a big deal, I don't have to say anything.

Thanksgiving came and went. Like I expected, I didn't eat much. I told Josh I wasn't feeling well and he let me curl up into a ball and sleep in my bed. Of course, I didn't sleep. I stayed in the same position for hours.

It's December now, and Christmas is coming up. I had no motivation or desire to do anything.

Leah started to notice my odd behavior at school, and brought it up multiple times, but I denied it every time.  “I'm totally fine. It's okay.”

Austin messaged me more often. It was like he wanted to be part of my life. I felt bad for being so rude to him now, when we really hit it off when I first saw him again.

Our car conversation was amazing. It was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn't my parents or my baby brother. I never liked to bother Jason with my problems.

Even when Austin came over, Jen and Josh loved him.

“I don't know if you fully realized what you did,” Jen said. “I remember when I first met her, she was bruised and broken. I watched her grow up.”

Austin had eaten a slice of pizza and listened to every word she spoke carefully.

“I didn't think I'd have to raise a kid so soon. I was young, and my career was just starting to take off. But I don't regret it. Not one bit. Yes, she was a surprise. But not unwanted. She isn't like my daughter, she is my daughter.” My heart felt warm and fuzzy inside. I couldn't imagine where I'd be if it wasn't for Jen's family.

Josh had a few words to say, too. They were similar to what Jen said. “I never want to picture my life without you in it.”

I thought back to all of our little moments together. We had pillow fights often. I remember teasing him when he couldn't always reach something, and how those types of things never made him feel any less masculine. We watched sports together, and though I didn't always enjoy it, I sat through it for him. He's my dad. And I loved him, though I didn't say it enough. He was willing to cancel interviews to make sure I was okay. When I sprained my ankle, he stayed here with me, letting me rest.

“Wow, they really love you,” Austin said to me. “I'm glad I was there to help. If you ever need anything, let me know.” The last part was directed to me. While Jen and Josh weren't looking, he took my hand and squeezed it tight. He let go as fast as he held on. In an instant.

“You're more than welcome to come back,” Jen offered. “Anytime.”

And the rest of the time he was here, it wasn't as serious. Austin told us more about his life. His father passed away when he was young, and he's an only child. He told us about his childhood, and the fun parts of it. I kept quiet. I didn't want to bring up my past right now. He had no idea who he saved.