Living with Jennifer Lawrence

[4:] Begin Again

Maddie's P.O.V.

This summer wasn't going to be a fun one.

After reading my suicide note, Jen knew all of my secrets. I wasn't planning on surving. But thanks to Austin, I'm still here. If you couldn't tell, I am not happy.

I wouldn't call it an ultimatum, a prison sentence would be a better word for it.

It was the next day. Bright and early in the morning, Jen told me that she loved me too much to watch me suffer. So for the whole sunmer vacation, I'd have to go to a facility that would help me overcome this eating disorder. And yes, you read that correctly. I guess that's what I have even though all I see is fat in the mirror.

My eyes widen in horror. “I didn't want to come home to this,” I muttered.

“I know you're upset, but this is going to help you! And you'll thank me later.”

I wanted to say, “Are you sure about that?” I didn't because that would be too disrespectful.

It was a little odd, returning home after all that had happened. Jen was being more protective of me.

And now I have to spend my summer vacation in a facility. Just great.

***

It didn't take up the whole summer, but a good chunk of it.

I learned a lot about eating disorders and met a few people with the same problems as me.

And to think I thought I was the only one.

I weighed about 72 pounds when I went on the scale. That was the “starting weight,” you could say. But after several weeks, I was already in the hundreds. My appearance changed drastically. I went from sickly thin to healthy again. And I have to say, I felt good.

I missed Jen. I wasn't able to see her for a long time.

The first few weeks were tough. I tried to not eat but I miserably failed. In the facility, you couldn't get away with anything. They watched you like a hawk.

Luckily, I made it. This afternoon I was going to see Jen. I was re-born. I'm healthier than ever. But we were warned that the symptoms never truly go away. There will be times that I won't want the food to stay down, but I won't give up. I'm stronger than I've ever been.

When I saw Jen, I leaped into her arms. For once in my life I can finally say that I'm truly happy.

Also, my hair is blonde again. My hair grew out and the roots were blonde and I decided to get rid of the dark brown. I was finally able to begin again.

On the car ride home, I told Jen all about my life changing experiences. She was proud of me for being able to eat again. Some people can do it with ease, but I had the hardest time doing such a simple task.

When I first arrived, I felt so weak. My hair was falling out each time I brushed it. My nails were brittle. My clothes were baggy and loosely fit. No one deserves to feel that way. Although I put up a fight when I first arrived, I am actually happy that Jen brought me here. My hair isn't thin dull-colored. The blonde was beautiful and vibrant. My nails were healthy and strong. In fact, I was those things.

My trip here was on the never ending list of things Jen has done for me.

Not only has Jen become my legal guardian, she's also a mother, a sister and not to mention my best friend. I can tell her anything and everything.

But most importantly, she's saved my life.