Living with Jennifer Lawrence

[2:] I'm Sorry

Maddie's P.O.V.

By the time I turned around to see if Austin was there, he was gone.

Jen's cries were more clearer. I'm surprised she didn't wake up the whole neighborhood.

I almost chickened out. I can't believe that for a split second, I considered running away again. This was a lot to go home to.

I could've turned back, let them think I was dead. Maybe it was for the best.

But no. I continued to walk. I've never been so nervous to go home in my life. All of those officers were there, trying to calm them down.

I look at the note in Josh's trembling hand. Even he cries. I've never seen him cry before.

I wish I didn't write that stupid note. What am I supposed to say when they see me alive?

"Oh, sorry for trying to kill myself and scaring you guys. Take me back in? I didn't mean it. Let's pretend this never happened, okay?"

How could I be so pathetic?

They hadn't noticed me yet. But I could hear an officer speaking. I'm not exactly sure what he's saying, but he's saying something.

I made it to the damp grass and stood there like a dummy. I don't say a word.

Jen looks up and her eyes were glossy with tears. I've never seen anyone run so fast.

She drew me into a suffocating hug. I knew she was crying by the way her body shook against mine, little tremors at first and then great racking heaves.

I could hardly understood a word she was saying. Eventually she just stopped speaking all together and held onto me tight.

How am I supposed to explain this to them?

She calmed down enough to let go and speak to the officers. Saying that I was the daughter that went missing and blah, blah, blah.

"You need to be more careful," I was told. Another officer said, "Have a good night, ma'am."

Minutes later, the cop cars left one by one and I was left with broken down parents.

"Come inside," Josh says. He didn't sound angry, or sad, just calm. I wonder if I should be afraid. Maybe I'll face his wrath when we're inside.

I've never seen Jen look so exhausted. Her eyes were bloodshot. It looks like she hardly slept although I made sure they were sleeping before I escaped.

Josh never let go of the note. His hands were formed into fist and the paper had gotten crumpled up.

He looked like he was about to speak, but Jen spoke first.

"Where did you go? I went to check to see if you were sleeping and I see a note on the dresser!"

"You read it?" I ask.

"Several times," Josh answers.

I sighed. "My plan was to never come home," I say weakly. "It's not that I don't appreciate the life you've given me, because I do. It's just, people.

They've ruined me. There's so much I haven't said because I never wanted you to worry, you know?

So I kept my silence, and look at what it did to me."

I rest my elbows on the table and pain shoots up my arm.

"What happened to your arm?" asks Josh.

"It's a long story," I tell them.

"We have time," says Jen.

"After I escaped, I went to the highway. It was about eleven thirty at night. I stood over the edge and nearly jumped." I admit. "I was so close to dying. My heels were off the ground and I was leaning toward my immediate death. I thought that's what I wanted."

They look at me to continue.

"I was saved, obviously. By a nice boy named Austin. He's the one who convinced me that life was worth living. I took his advice and he dropped me off here."

"Where is he?" asks Jen.

"He left. I don't think I'll ever see him again. I never said thank you," I say, ashamed.

"Do you know his last name?" Jen asks.

"It was. . . His name is Austin Mahone," I say, remembering.

"You never told us what happened to your arm." Josh speaks.

I look at it and the sleeve is beyond soaked with blood but I didn't want to look at it any longer.

"I broke his car window," I look down.

Jen's eyes grew wide. "What? This boy saves your life and you treat him like that?" Then she says, "Come on, we're taking you to the emergency room."

"I'm just so glad you're alive," she mutters as we head out.

***

At three in the morning we made it to the emergency room, and at this time of night, people still showed up.

It wasn't before long when I got my stitches.

Personally, I thought it would hurt, but after the painkillers were injected, all I really felt was the doctor tugging at my skin.

I tried to think of positive things. That's when I thought of Stitch. Not what was given to me now, but the blue alien from that Disney movie, Lilo & Stitch.

Once the procedure was complete, it wasn't before long when we left the hospital and headed home.

But this time, I was afraid because I didn't know what was going to happen next.