Sacrifices ☆H.S☆

32

○

I loved the way he hugged me all night, but that was not my harry.

He made love to me as he had never done before. His hand never left mine, his lips were always on mines, told me how much he loved me uncountable times. But something about him wasn't the same, he felt tense, worry, lost.

He looked at me as if i wasn't real, his mind was anywhere else in moments, he just went away and i had to take him back. The times i tried to ask a few times if something was wrong but he just distracted me by thrusting in me harder or kissing me more.

When we finished he just hugged me to him, didn't even let me go clean myself, hugged me like if I would go away and never come back, but didn't say a word. No play as we would usually do after sex, no jokes, no more kisses, no anything. He just hugged me until he fell asleep, which took him a few hours.

I couldn't fall asleep, i just stayed there looking at him sleep. He looked angelical, just laid there breathing slowly, his mouth slightly open, his chest moving up and down with every breath. All of the worries washed away from his face, he just seemed in peace, beautiful. I removed my hand that was scratching his scalp to place it on his chest, his hand came to rest on mine as he hugged me closer in his sleep.

I rested my head in his chest and tried to fall sleep, and even tho it took me another half an hour i finally did.

a rumble beneath me woke me up. I leaned against the bed to look at Harry, who was taking his hands to his face.

- "fuck" - he breathed out. - "sorry babe I woke you up"

He was sweating and trembling. how I had not felt it before? I had my face wet with his sweat.

- "Are you okay?" - I asked as I touched his forehead, maybe he felt bad or had a fever, or something similar. but his temperature was fine, in fact he felt cold. I removed the wet hair from his forehead and stared at him trying to read some expression through the darkness of the night.

- "I'm fine, I just ..-" He swallowed, looked at me and spoke again .- "It was just a dream ... a dream of those in which you fall, you know? Nothing more"

He took my hand to his mouth, planting a soft kiss my palm, trying to assure me everything was fine. I didn't know whether to believe him or not but his smile, for the first time in days, looked genuine and uncomplicated. I cupped his cheek in my hand and launched myself to his lips, his soft and perfect lips that I love. I kissed him slowly, taking my time, enjoying the flavour of his mouth, telling him that I would always be by his side and that I loved him without even saying a word.

His arms embraced me as if he understood my message, as if all those unspoken words gave him back the energy. He told me how much he loved me in the middle of the kiss, this time with audible words, as he pressed me against him and turned me around to lie on me. He placed his head on my chest, put his arm around my waist and caressed the skin that he could already reach there. He said things about my heartbeat, things that I could not understand very well because he spoke so softly, as if he only spoke for himself. and slowly we fell asleep again. He avobe me, with the pattern of my heartbeat in his mind, and me with the movement of the touch of his fingers on my skin.

~~~~~

He hated me, but didn't wanted me away. And the situation was driving me crazy. I had no idea what was going on with him, our fights were out of control, he was just trying to push me away but pulling back to him, who knew what he wanted at the end of the day. He would ignore me all day and then come home and say sorry and expect me to be ok with it. He was more stressed than ever, sometimes i just opted to just stay quiet and leave him alone but other i just couldn't hold my self, i needed to tell him how i felt and that seemed to stress him more.